Moonsoulchild: A Memoir

By Moonsoulchild

Somethings you may take with you after reading my memoir:

The perspective to always keep an open mind. To follow your heart. To take every opportunity that makes you feel something. You live everyday but things will only pass by once so don’t think twice. You’re going to die many times as you shed the many versions of yourself, but your rebirth will be worth it. Your awakening probably won’t happen until your mid-twenties. To always love hard. To let go of anyone who doesn’t align with your growth, even if you love them. There is love in letting go. Stay resilient. Your vulnerability is a superpower. Always stay soft. Your insecurities won’t be forgotten, but you don’t need to let them mirror you. Your trauma doesn’t define you, there’s always room to heal and change your story. Healing requires a lot of patience. Forgiveness isn’t necessary to heal and move on.

Above all,
Self-love will always be the love that saves you.

Xoxo, Moonsoulchild

• Language: English
• Publisher: Moonsoulchild
• Release date: Dec 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9798201265915

Moonsoulchild

Moonsoulchild (Sara Sheehan) is a passionate free-spirited soul, a free-verse artist who speaks fluent in love, happiness, and raw vulnerability. She tells her story from her deepest secrets, her truth, and some of what you may relate to. Her writing gives a sense of purpose, inspiration, and peace. It gives you the ability to heal from that darkest place. It gives you a second chance at changing the narrative and finding a new perspective. It gives you the feeling of comfort, knowing you’re never truly alone.Moonsoulchild (Sara Sheehan) was born and raised in Connecticut. After falling in love with fellow writer Michael Tavon, in 2018, they’ve been inseparable since. Moonsoulchild most notable works are “I Was Never Broken” and “The Journey Through My Heart”... with newest book “Moonsoulchild: A Memoir” is out now!

Book preview

I want to be like the moon, beautiful no matter what phase I’m in. I want to shine in my darkest hour. I want to remain a mystery but leave you with enough emotional depth. I want you to feel different after connecting with me and to always remember me. I want you to escape to me when in need of refuge so I can remind you, even when idle, you hold great purpose.

What you may take with you after reading my memoir:

The perspective to always keep an open mind. To follow your heart. To take every opportunity that makes you feel something. You live every day, but some things only pass by once, so don’t think twice. You’ll die many times as you shed the layers of yourself, but your rebirth will be worth it. Your awakening probably won’t happen until your mid-twenties. To always love hard. Let go of anyone who doesn’t align with your growth, even if you love them. There is love in letting go. Stay resilient. Your vulnerability is a superpower. Always stay soft. Your insecurities won’t be forgotten, but you don’t need to let them mirror you. Your trauma doesn’t define you; there’s always room to heal and change your story. Healing requires a lot of patience. Forgiveness isn’t necessary to heal and move on.

Above all,

Self-love will always be the love that saves you.

Xoxo,

Moonsoulchild

Prelude

I will pull your heartstrings while unfolding my journey into pieces within each chapter. I will bring you to tears more than you’d expect reading someone else’s story. I will give you the vulnerability you deserve and the rawness you prefer. You may relate to every page or rarely share any relation. If you’re familiar with my work, you know I don’t aim to be relatable; I aim to give you my story. I don’t sugarcoat or dim due to triggers that could surface; this is always a safe place, and facing is always freeing. I live by it. So, if you’re not ready to handle the many looming emotions you might mirror, don’t. If you’re uncomfortable at any point, wait. Proceed with caution, but know that my story can be inspiring.

This journey of mine has been messy, confusing, complicated, and blissful but life-changing. I wouldn’t trade a moment. I have faced my worst days and still conquered them. I’m still healing, no matter the progress. I’m grateful to wake up and have a chance to keep writing my story. The book isn’t closed until I’m no longer breathing; I have so much life to pour into others. My battles have tested me but created outlets for those in need. I have overcome anxiety, depression, and so much heartache. I’m constantly at war with myself and finding the balance with my trauma. I’m forever a work in progress. I don’t define myself by my past or imperfections; I take pride in being flawed. I adore the lessons and how I embrace my essence every time I’m tested. I enjoy living on the edge of every moment and in every moment. I love feeling my feet on the ground. There’s not a moment I take for granted. Life has thrown many obstacles over the years, but I never surrendered.

This isn’t your typical memoir; I don’t enjoy following the rules. I want you to feel me. I like this experience to be between us, you and me. You are reading because you have found yourself in my work, or maybe you enjoy my storytelling. If you know me, you know my best writing comes from when I’m freestyling. I’m sorry if I ramble; I’ll do my best to get to the core of every emotion. Each chapter will go into depth into those feelings and moments. There will be poems, quotes, prose, and journal entries. You may have read some pieces in another collection, but they align perfectly here. I want to be adventurous with this one.

Writing is my therapy. It became my voice when I didn’t have one. It keeps me sane and safe. I got lost in my mind too many times, but writing saved my life. I hope this book brings you the same feeling writing gives me, solace. I hope it feels like a warm hug from someone who gets you peace.

Interlude

I hope you’re ready for the ride, the emotional rollercoaster of my life. I open my heart to you. I bare my soul without the fear of being judged. This memoir is to help you see how I view myself, that outside perceptions don’t define me; they only give me the confidence to live my authentic self. Here I stand in my truth. Here, I give you the best version of myself after years of searching, coming up empty, loving the wrong souls, and putting myself in spaces where I didn’t belong. I’m here to be held in my favorite way: accountable. I’ve desperately tried to fit into spaces, hearts, and lifestyles I wasn’t destined for. I’m responsible for some of the trauma I endured. I won’t act like I’m perfect because perfection frightens me. I don’t have what it takes to put a mask on and be someone I’m not. I’m a beautiful soul. I light up rooms. My energy is someone’s favorite. My aura is contagious. My softness is a safe space. My ability to love my hardest, stay resilient, and create peace in every chapter of my story. I know I’m worth loving.

I’ve done the work. I’m continuing to do the work— to love all of me, something I couldn’t bear to embrace before.

I hope you feel me.

1.

Reflection

In this self-reflection, I only see how far I’ve come. I don’t highlight the lows I didn’t overcome, but that the lessons taught me failures are triumphs, even if I don’t see they were meant to shape me and help me create a version of myself I’m proud of. The lessons taught me letdowns take a little longer to get back up, but it’s nothing to fear because I will conquer every time.

I’m focusing on the now and how I got here. There are going to be moments when I soak in despair. Reflecting is the most essential part of my journey. I wouldn’t be where I am now if I didn’t dive deep into the pain and heartache. I wouldn’t be healing. I used to look in the mirror and see someone I didn’t recognize, but now I look into the mirror and see someone resilient and filled with confidence and ambition.

These pages will bare my soul; you will feel like you’re reading with my heart. I will break down every scenario and every situation to the best of my ability. I will bring up every emotion and traumatic experience because I need to go through the motions to heal and grow. I needed to be uncomfortable. I needed to have my heart broken to have it mended. I needed to deal with grief to understand life after loss.

Where I am now isn’t where I was five years ago. Every year is a chance to strive to be better.

Where I was a year ago isn’t where I am today.

The success, strengths, and fears… they’re always different. I strive to be better than I was yesterday, to always be a greater version of myself. I was proud when I struggled and had a heavy heart accepting any form of love. I’m proud of the woman I’ve become after letting someone break and control me when I let myself change with every story and person that walked in.

I never gave up and let myself get entirely lost because I’ve always found my way and never once believed that I wouldn’t make it to where I am today. I might have been stuck in a realm of circumstances I placed myself in, but the right people to support and guide me gave me the space to be free in each moment. I was too much of a people pleaser. I wanted to heal and save everyone that I loved.

It wasn’t until I decided to look within, heal within, and focus on myself. I could look in the mirror and see myself for the honorable soul I am; I could let go of who I was and embrace the becoming, the forever growing, the love that is me.

Years & Ages that hold significance

2007: My first year of high school. I was starting a new chapter of my life. I was excited to start over and be a different version of myself. All my insecurities developed in middle school, so I was waiting to release this chapter and welcome becoming someone different. As the year unfolded, I didn't know this chapter meant my father disappearing from my life. I wasn’t aware of why he left or if he would return.

I had to start this new chapter with a vacant space where he once resided. I had a whole family that cared deeply for me, but his absence was a void I didn't know I’d mindlessly try to fill through relationships and connections that only brought me pain. I was an insecure, lost, and perplexed young girl.

My first year of high school was terrifying but inviting because it was filled with new connections and an opportunity to start fresh. I met friends I’m still close with today, some I’m acquainted with, and the rest were only meant for that moment. My high school was like a college campus with many different people and cliques.

I didn’t know where I would fit in or if I would stand out. The vibe of this year was adjusting to someone I loved going off the radar and hopefully becoming someone closer to who I was destined to be. I was excited about new beginnings, but I wasn’t prepared for the outcome.

A letter to my fourteen-year-old self

If only you were confident. If only you could have walked into high school like the rest of the others who held their head high, but no, you were an over-worrier and needed to be careful how others perceived you. You didn’t have name-brand clothing and sometimes didn’t get a new wardrobe due to circumstances. You cared about your appearance more than you should because everyone always highlighted what you lacked, which initiated your insecurities. There was a certain standard you needed to live up to, and looking back now, who made the rules? Why did you try so hard to be accepted by people who only bullied you because you couldn’t afford to look like a double? You had a heart so huge the world couldn’t feel it because they didn’t hold the capacity to love the way you did. You found love in those who didn’t judge you, didn’t care about your image, brought a smile to your face, and brought laughter until you cried. You loved those who kept your deepest secrets, those who protected you. You made friends with genuine people like you, but you consistently chased the opposite people because they were confident, and you couldn’t escape your shell. You wanted so badly to become carefree like the rest of them. You didn’t know the deepest scars and insecurities they hid, which were the same reasons they bullied you; they struggled but kept it together enough to make you envy them.

High school was nothing you expected. It was more of an experience of learning the good and bad of people and how to survive every panic attack of worrying about what the next day would entail. You loathed public speaking. The only voice you had resided in your head; you feared speaking out loud because you were an overthinker, and saying the wrong thing would create an outlet for someone to find a new reason to tease you and keep you in your shell.

Public speaking, huge crowds, and being around people who made you feel further from yourself, there was no chance you could be openly confident in those rooms.

I wish you were confident. I wish you could have spoken the thoughts that crowded your mind. I wish you could have seen the bullies struggling inside instead of letting them define you. I wish you could have focused on the ones who adored you instead of chasing the lifestyle and hearts of those who could never amount to yours. I wish you could have seen how beautiful you were and how beauty was far more than skin deep; it’s more vital when it comes from within.

2009: I'll never forget the year my family had its most major transition, and not one we wanted to remember. I