Resurface as a Couple

By Phillip A. Johansen

Relationship conflicts, whether mild or violent, entail great stress for family members because they threaten an essential foundation of our lives. Long-lasting relationship conflicts mean chronic stress, which has a massive impact on us both physically and mentally. Therefore, longer marital crises can significantly jeopardize our health and outlook on life.

Resolving couple conflicts can, therefore, be very healing. In couples therapy, people can learn to deal better with themselves and with each other, for example, with their own weaknesses and mental wounds and those of others. If this is successful, the couple will go back to having more positive and therefore healing relationship experiences with each other, rather than further aggravating existing psychological and physical problems. Therefore, keep in mind to follow the advice in this book to improve your relationship and life with the person you love, or seek professional help to recover what you have worked so hard to build. Good luck with the company, and I hope this text will be useful to you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Editorial Anuket
• Release date: Jul 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223006367

Book preview

Table of Contents

Resurface as a Couple

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Resurface

as a couple

-the psychology of marriage-

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Phillip A. Johansen

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Editorial Anuket

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Index

Chap.1 Common problems in the couple

Chap.2 Capital problem: lack of communication

Chap.3 Destructive behaviors

Chap.4 Regain sexual passion

Chap.5 Tips, tricks, and recommendations

Chapter 1

Common problems

in couples

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Difficulties constantly arise in the family. Someone got sick, there is not enough money, the child brought a deferment, the car broke down, and another crisis came. If all is well in the family, such problems are resolved very quickly. But if temporary difficulties cannot be dealt with, if they turn into insurmountable obstacles, then we can say that family problems are ripe.

In this case, the whole family and each person included in it becomes unhappy, and the union itself ceases to be harmonious. This happens for a number of reasons that are related to the field of psychology. Let's take a closer look at some of them.

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• Reason One: We're Just Not Right For Each Other

It happens that people get married for reasons of convenience, because of the desire to forget a previously failed love, or the prevailing desire to leave the parental home. In this case, they often do not think about the consequences of their decision. And after a couple of years, they begin to understand that living with an absolute stranger is simply unbearable. Conflicts arise simply because the difference in perception of the world is too great.

The saying be patient, fall in love is far from always true. A marriage concluded with passion or strong love leads to the same problem when young people do not yet know how to take responsibility for their own actions and do not have enough experience to predict the consequences of their actions.

So-called dynastic marriages, when there is a tradition of marrying off members of a particular family, or when parents simply agree to the union of their children, are often no less unhappy. After all, the husband and wife simply become hostages to other people's goals.

If you understand that you and your partner formed an alliance by mistake, the best way out is to simply let go and disperse. In situations where this is not possible, you should at least make the problem explicit and agree on how your relationship will be built from now on.

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• Reason two: strange targets

Often the family of the spouses becomes a place where goals incompatible with a happy life can be achieved. For example, it may be a need to subdue another person, or a desire to assert oneself. It also happens very often that one of the partners uses the other to obtain a stable position in the company and other benefits, without wanting to give anything in return.

In this case, an agreement on how your relationship will be organized, and of course clearly defined priorities, can help. You need to understand what is more important to you - family happiness or receiving certain benefits. One way or another, your spouse has a right to know about this and understand how you will interact.

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• Reason Three: Resentment

Resentment is probably the most common cause of broken marriages. If we are offended, then we are always one hundred percent convinced that we are right and that we are eager to achieve justice at all costs. And, attention! At this point, the target is changed. They were going to make each other happy forever, but they themselves began to fight for their own justice, changed course, and began to move away from family harmony.

But what to do? How to save a family? After all, resentment causes intense pain, which is simply impossible to bear. A very good way out is to go to a third person who will listen to the arguments of both parties and help them to restore what is fair. Or one of you should be wiser and sacrifice your right to be offended to try to look at the situation from the outside and find a way out.

There is a secret psychological weapon that helps a lot in a situation where you need to relieve the tension that has arisen due to resentment. Imagine yourself in the place of your opponent, that is, switch roles; in this case, that of your spouse. Look in the mirror or look at a cushion, talk to him and describe your own feelings, beginning the conversation with the words: I understand that.... It is important that you really understand and think that the other will also listen and understand. Believe me, in 90% of cases this will be enough to move on to a constructive dialogue later.

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• Reason four: we all come from childhood

Sometimes we don't want to be happy ourselves. Unfortunately, this is not a myth or buzzword invented by psychologists, but a behavioral reality. Complaints and decisions from childhood affect adult life. The way parents interact also affects how a person will build her family.

For example,