Empower yourself to relate

By Alfonso Lugo

In "Empower Yourself to Relate," embark on an enriching journey of self-discovery and personal growth as you uncover the keys to nurturing meaningful and fulfilling relationships. This empowering eBook offers a comprehensive guide to fostering strong connections with others while harnessing the power within yourself.

Are you seeking to improve your relationships with family, friends, romantic partners, or colleagues? This book is designed to equip you with the essential tools and insights needed to enhance your communication skills, build trust, and develop empathetic understanding. By empowering yourself, you'll be better equipped to navigate conflicts and nurture healthier connections that withstand the test of time.

Inside, you'll find:

1. The Art of Self-Reflection: Delve into the depths of self-awareness to understand your emotions, values, and beliefs, laying the foundation for building authentic relationships.

2. Effective Communication Strategies: Learn to express yourself confidently and actively listen to others, fostering open and honest dialogue that fosters mutual understanding.

3. Emotional Intelligence for Deeper Connections: Develop emotional intelligence to recognize and manage emotions in yourself and others, fostering empathy and compassion.

4. Conflict Resolution and Building Trust: Discover constructive ways to navigate conflicts, heal wounds, and rebuild trust in damaged relationships.

5. Cultivating Empowering Habits: Implement practical techniques and habits to enhance your personal growth journey, nurturing your self-confidence and resilience.

Through actionable advice, practical exercises, and real-life examples, "Empower Yourself to Relate" empowers you to transform your relationships, leading to a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

Whether you're starting from scratch in building relationships or seeking to strengthen existing connections, this eBook offers invaluable guidance to help you become a more empathetic, confident, and self-aware individual.

Begin your journey toward empowered relationships today. Unlock the potential within yourself, and watch as your relationships flourish and your personal growth soars to new heights.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alfonso Lugo
• Release date: Aug 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9786072938793

Book preview

Empower yourself to relate

Practical manual to be successful in relationships

Alfonso Lugo

This manual was born out of my need to share all the tools that have helped me improve my life... tools that I have learned over the years. Thanks to my mentors, my therapists, and my coaches I have been able to build a full life, with its challenges, difficulties and adversities, but with good results and with immeasurable happy moments.

It is our responsibility to take control of our lives to build, shape and adapt it in the best way, and for our highest good. I hope this manual gives you the perspective you need to finally turn the page on those chapters where you might feel like there is no way out.

With lots of love and with faith that we can build a better society,

Alfonso Lugo

Table of contents

40 Learn to give feedback

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43 ThetaHealing

The 7 existential planes

87 What is the most valuable thing in your life?

89 Family values

The most important

Chapter 1 - Background

of Thetahealing

family values

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06 My story

Chapter 2 - Your power zone in the relationship

12 The power of change

14 Victim or responsible: Take responsibility for your life and change it

16 Emotional intelligence

18 The age of individualism

21  Breaking before it begins

22  Less is more

24 Zygmunt Bauman

Liquid love

28 Attachment according to Buddhism

34  The four quadrants

35  Learning by imitation

51 The 4 agreements

of the Toltec Wisdom

54 Positive Thinking

Positive psychology

Positive psychology: Exercises

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62 Flip it: be an alchemist

Life lessons from the book

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70 Learn not to point fingers

Ten reasons not to judge others

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75 Heal mother and father

What steps can I take to heal my relationship with my parents?

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80  The punching bag or the pillow encounter

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81  How do you value your life? Do you live or wander through it?

96  Two inner voices:

The power of intuition vs the negative voice of your personality

(the one that you're

tired of).

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97  How to develop your intuition

100  The negative voice inside you

101  What is the relationship you have with your body?

10 practical tips to enhance body acceptance and cultivate self-esteem

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112 Psychological pathologies: tools to identify them

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129  The know-it-all syndrome

130  The secret garden

132

157

159

163

Types of therapies

-  Family constellations

-  Transpersonal Psychology

-  Person Centred Therapy - Carl Rogers

-  Samurai Course

-  Yoga

Learn to meditate in a minute

Transactional analysis theory

Our three brains

199

201

202

Give yourself and trust completely

In wartime, every hole is a trench

Polygamous by nature, monogamous by choice

What happens to individual freedom when we are in a relationship?

168  The third entity Roles in the

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182

183

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The analogy of pulling the cart

Tell your partner one of the most painful or embarrassing moments

211

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212

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213

Have you designed the perfect couple for you?

What of all those things you ask for you do not have?

Questions to recognize

170

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174

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177

179

181

relationship: Alpha and Beta

The difference between the sexes: we are not equal, it is not about competing

Disney for women; Playboy for men

List 1: I am good at

List 2: What I love

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184

189

196

197

of your life and learn to

laugh about it

The money and the couple

Robert Kiyosaki Do not interrupt

Don't try to change anyone; evolve with that person

217

219

your power and know

how to yield (Applies to

any type of bond)

The defendant's chair exercise

The ultimate Alpha

Chapter 1

Background

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My story

I have had many sentimental relationships in my life and all of them have left me with a deep learning. I have been the good guy and the bad guy in the movie, I have hurt and been hurt, but I have also had relationships where the two of us have found the middle ground and have reconciled to build or ended up in common agreement to find peace on different paths.

In those where I have felt deep pain, learning to heal has been invaluable. Each wound has left a scar that, to this day, I look back with gratitude. Betrayal, deception, disappointment, fear, mistrust, and some other negative feelings have created strength, temperance, wisdom, trust and learning to value life even more and understand that everything has a cycle, and we meet certain people to grow and help them grow. All the relationships we establish have a reason for being and it is up to us to discover why and take advantage of them for our own growth.

I do not intend to give life lessons or tell you how to live your life, I simply want to share the tools that have helped me overcome the most difficult obstacles and build the most lasting relationships that I have to this day.

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From my perspective, there are two ways to approach and learn about relationships.

From the practical point of view: action, reaction, consequence

This is probably the simplest and most powerful equation that explains in some way the results obtained. Here's an example: a couple decides to go to the park to enjoy a walk together. They are holding hands and sharing a meaningful conversation. Suddenly, a very attractive person runs by and one of them inevitably turns to see her (action), then his partner gets upset (reaction) and the two end up in an argument (consequence) that changes the energy of that first act. What are the practical lessons learned from this experience? From not turning to see a good- looking person in a certain moment, to having patience, generating empathy, and not allowing something like that to ruin such a beautiful moment. Learning the lessons in a practical way allows us to evolve, mature and grow.

From the spiritual point of view

There is a reason that goes beyond our understanding and has to do with the collective consciousness. Whatever your creed, there is a backbone that supports us as human beings and makes us feel that we are part of something bigger and that there is a purpose to our existence. Without going into many details, even the most agnostic human being has the need to feel that connection with the universe through science and universal laws. For me, there are no coincidences, everything has a reason for being and is part of a divine plan, and that is why the people we interact with come into our lives for that reason, and it is our responsibility to discover why.

Have you ever felt uncomfortable around a person or situation? This is a test of that energy that I am talking about. The internal compass that guides us and every time we interact, we build something that has to do with collective evolution. Those relationships become spiritual, they mark us deeply and help us live life to the fullest.

You may be wondering why I use the concept of Alpha and Beta as the common thread of this manual, and the answer is that through the years and my relationships, I have realized that we are leaders and followers at the same time. We give examples but we also see and adopt others' examples. Learning to be a good leader and a good follower is key to being able to relate more effectively and to give meaning to all those encounters.

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I hope that this manual gives you a greater perspective and the tools so that all your

relationships, whatever their nature: romantic, family, work, or friendship, develop a deep meaning in your

life. Some people will come to stay, but others will only touch your life in a brief way. It is up to you to take the best of all of them.

Alphas & Betas to create great Alphas and great Betas.

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The power of change

My mother is a recovering alcoholic, she hasn't drink in 12 years. She did it for a long time, until she reached a very dark stage in her life.

For our family, this situation was very difficult and there was a time when almost everyone resigned, and they were sure that my mother was going to die that way. I never did, I couldn't accept the fact that she couldn't love herself. We looked for different solutions, without success. After a lot of cheating on her part and failed attempts, the change really came when she hit rock bottom and she said, Enough, I'm going to stop this.

Many people tend to think that people do not change, but of course they do, people can evolve, improve. But this only happens when we really decide to make the change; it depends totally on us. The change is in the instant, the resistance to change is what does not allow us to carry it out.

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Human beings are in a state of change since we are born,