Prisoners of Gambling: Not Only for Players

By Tessenyi Judit

Maybe if you had found the right information about the passion for gambling in time... This is the third time I am addressing the topic, because I have more and more experience with the passion for gambling and fate is constantly bringing me together with more and more people who expect advice and help from me. At the same time, I am disturbed by the amount of theoretical reasoning that does not support addicts at any level to get solutions, a handhold, useful information, because some of them publish results obtained in "laboratory conditions" behind the scientific background - instead of meeting real addicts. If those affected only get the comforting certainty after reading my book that they are not alone and that there is a solution - several - then I have not written in vain. Unlike before, I'm switching to teeing now because I want us to get closer to each other, trust me to tell you everything I know about gambling addiction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: gambling addiction psychological aspects of the economy - hungarian language
• Release date: Jun 23, 2023

Book preview

Introduction

Whenever the passion for games came up in our company during the past years - there was always at least one affected person in the interlocutor's circle of acquaintances or family. I found an amazing story, or rather a human tragedy, in everyone's arms, which was born of an inappropriate relationship with the game. I will not condemn or judge you, my goal is only one: to pass on the knowledge I have collected, helping with prevention, treatment and all those family members who are surrounded by problem gamblers. For more than 25 years, I have been researching the passion for gambling, and I trust that the upcoming chapters will make you think and help you take action if necessary.

As an employee of Szerencsejáték Zrt., I visited various lotteries for 18 years, where - in addition to checking the work of my colleagues - I also had plenty of time to observe the behavior of the bettors. To be honest: the maddened effort to get rid of people's money as soon as possible was shocking. I will try to recall some of these cases, especially if there is a lesson to be learned from the case. It would be a huge self-delusion to think that the state game organizer does not offer addictive games: just look at some lottery tickets or tip mixes. Perhaps you too were driven to this point by the excitement of the online tip mix.

After the banning of slot machines - although machines can be found in casinos - online games and sports betting clearly took over the previous role of slot machines in the development of gambling addiction. Understand this: back then, slot machines and lovi caused the most problems, today it's the tip mix. One of the clear proofs of this is the extremely dynamic increase in traffic, which you can follow by looking at the traffic (business) reports of Szerencsejáték ZRT (see annual business reports on their website).

I owe a debt of gratitude to all my current and former colleagues who shared their own experiences with me, and I quote some interesting things from them. At the end of the manuscript, a very old colleague of mine from one of the rural lotteries called me, he has been financing his little son's games and lifestyle for 10 years, he was crying...

The fourth edition continues to mainly analyze the games and players of the Hungarian gambling market - the occasional sarcasm is the author's own, but I don't want to hurt anyone's self-esteem and especially not to trivialize the seriousness of the matter!

what I had to say was even clearer and clearer . In addition to the changes suggested by them, some new chapters were added to the fourth edition, because in the course of time many of the experiences that are included in it came to light.

I would also like to highlight my prison research assistants by name: Krisztina Layber, Annamária Riedl, Noémi Varga, Attila Fehér and Tamás Suha. It was not exactly the easiest environment for them to undertake to fill out the questionnaires. Thanks to Dr. Norbert Katona for his valuable editing work and professional comments, and to Gergó Farkas for his professional proofreading of the first edition.

Signs of gaming passion

the toy skin is that it is not really visible or we can say that it is not noticeable at first. It doesn't become clear until the player falls, even if it reaches a pathological level for someone. For example, by embezzling company income or not showing up during work hours. What makes the matter even more unpleasant is that the person involved is not even aware that he is a passionate gambler. Maybe you're just reading these lines out of curiosity and believe that you just like to play and win and that you're very lucky anyway, and you understand football. At the end of the book, you will find a short test: if you have more than 3 yes, I'll just say: you are problematic, at risk or addicted!

While an alcoholic's hands may tremble, his eyes may be bloodshot, his nose may be red, and his breath may smell of alcohol, there is nothing striking about the appearance of a gamer. Even more so in his behavior, but let's move in line!

Denial is part of the problem, I haven't met anyone in the lottery who considered themselves addicted. The situation is quite different with Gamblers Anonymous or Minnesotans in group therapy, but more on that later!

Quite a variety of terms are used in everyday life and in the literature for game addicts: problem gamer, pathological game addict, passionate gambler, compulsive gambler, etc. This has no significance for the following stories, so I will continue to use the above words interchangeably for the same behavioral disorder in order not to repeat the same phrase over and over again. The term client has spread in Nyíró, passionate gambler in GA groups, I myself use gambling addict most often, which is inaccurate, because here we are talking about gambling addicts.

It happens that someone is accused of being a gamer, but he is not, he just plays a lot and regularly. Determining whether someone is addicted is mostly a professional task. Wow, I hate it when someone is stigmatized, especially if it's unfounded! No one can be declared to have a passion for gaming, even if they claim it themselves. My prison research series will prove this, in which we specifically asked the delinquents each time whether they considered themselves addicted to gaming and in many cases they answered yes, even though this was not confirmed by the partial addiction test.

If you have at least four or five of the following signs, a psychologist would tell you that you are addicted:

If you only feel satisfied with more and more games , or if you play more and more money in order to achieve the desired thrill, without considering your own financial possibilities and their limits.

It may also be a sign that you have tried unsuccessfully to stop gambling, or that you become restless or irritable if you do not have the opportunity to play .

It is also a symptom if someone gambles to escape from their problems , or gambles again and again if they lose in gambling.

If you have ever lied to family members or acquaintances to hide how much you gamble, you may have committed a crime in order to gamble .

The issue of addiction also arises if you have risked your job in order to play, or if you have borrowed money from relatives or acquaintances to play , or if you have even used your savings for this.

If your interest is mostly in the game of chance you play : for example, you check the chances of winning, you brag about your winnings, you know the offers of several bookmakers inside out for some sports events, or this is the only topic that excites you. There is a medical diagnostic manual that lists and defines these in a little more detail.

Overall: the lifestyle, daily behavior and living conditions of gambling addicts are determined by the game: this is what he talks about, he only deals with this, his other activities are only incidental to him, and he ends up in debt, which of course he hides to the end and denies even to himself. The game addict acts as a replacement, tries to satisfy some sense of lack. To do this, he wants to win - at any cost. However, in addition to the promising dream of the prize, he really longs for the excitement - which the hope and chance of winning provides - and without it he feels his life is boring. Of course, these are generalizations, it is not necessary that all elements occur in a person's behavior in order to be addicted to gaming. In 2016, a study with a larger population was also conducted, which again discovered the Spanish wax: people either play for the thrill or to win a specific prize. Now I'm not talking about those who play the game out of habit, because they don't dare stop playing the lottery with their grandmother's numbers.

The earliest to recognize that something is wrong with you are those involved in the sale of gambling games. For example, your bookie, the lottery seller or the croupier, but this is only true if you always go to the same place to play. You can't even expect the salesperson or service staff to give you a signal if, in their opinion, you've already gone too far, as it will only result in losing a regular player who will indulge his passion elsewhere from now on. Just think about it, if we ate too much chocolate ice cream and the ice cream seller told us not to because we would get fat or get diabetes, would we thank him and stop eating ice cream, or would we rather go for ice cream where we would not be confronted with our frailty?

The other circle, which can be relevant in the timely detection of a problem, is the fellow players. They obviously know their friend and his financial possibilities better, so they can also notice if someone goes to excess in terms of frequency, extent, and willingness to take risks - compared to your own possibilities and previous habits!

Unfortunately, the family and the partner usually perceive the problem only when its financial consequences can no longer be hidden. Of course, where they pay attention to each other and spend their free time together, the partner (parent, child) can sense in time that the playing habits are changing. However, how the family members approach the issue and how they try to help can greatly affect the chances of recovery and the rest of the life of the addicted gambler.

Indirectly, the family can sense in time that something is wrong. For example, there is a change in the behavior of the affected person. There may be an increased level of readiness and excitement that the other party perceives. Such a signal can be irritability, disappearance, mysteriousness, and occasionally a state of excitement.

Testes, jól öltözött asszony nyitott be a lottózóba. Szemmel láthatóan otthonosan mozgott, mert kezében cipelt táskáját azonnal a legközelebbi asztalra helyezte, majd szinte lendületből az eladópulthoz lépett. Béluskám -szólította meg az eladót-, nagyon sietek, csak egy kis puttót adok fel, meg adjon nekem ebből az ezer forintosból, ebből a Bukszából is. Á, egy elég lesz! Megyek bevásárolni, vennem kell burgonyát, meg ezt-azt. Az eladó mosolyogva nyugtázta a néni sajátos monológját:

Jövevényünk felnevetett, de érezhető volt gesztusában a feszültség - tegnap közel felét játszotta el a nyugdíjának. Két perc múlva már a pultnál állt ismét, mert másik játékot kért, az előbbi számokkal nem volt elégedett.

- Béluskám - szűrte a fogai között -délelőtt egy húszast buktam a postán a sorsjeggyel!!!

Áll, álldogál, mert talán valamilyen részvétnyilvánításra vár, valami feloldozásra, vagy biztató szóra.

A pult mögötti ember azonban sokat tud a függőségről, így azzal is tisztában van, ha biztatni fogja, akkor vendége addig játszik, amíg a pénzéből telik, a hamis illúzió keltése felkérés a pénze elvesztésére, így ezt mondja: - Jó, tegyen még egy kísérletet, drága, de ne feledje mit írt fel a bevásárlásra!!!

A nő már lázasan turkál a sorsjegyek között, bólint, mintha értette volna a burkolt intelmet, végül váratlan kérdést tesz fel:

- A 12-es, vagy a 35-ös számvégződésű sorsjegyet vegyem?

- A 12-est.

Kaparni kezdi azonnal, nem is lép már odébb a pulttól, kapar, kapar, arca rövidesen átszellemül, és odasuttogja az eladónak:

- Nyolcezret nyertem, jó tipp volt!!!

- Fizethetem? -váltott Béla barátságosból szigorúbb hangnemre.

- Igen...fizesse, drágám! MÉG MEGYEK A POSTÁRA ÉS OTT IS SZERENCSÉT PRÓBÁLOK....

I received the first story from my dearest colleague from Szolnok, Sanyi, and I still don't understand how it is possible to part with such an excellent professional.

"A corpulent, well-dressed woman opened the door to the lottery. It was obvious that he was moving at home, because he immediately placed the bag he was carrying in his hand on the nearest table, and then, almost on impulse, he went to the sales counter. My Bélus - addressed the seller - I'm in a hurry, I'm only giving up a small putt, give me this thousand forints, this Buksza too. Ah, one will be enough! I'm going shopping, I need to buy potatoes and this and that. The salesman acknowledged the aunt's peculiar monologue with a smile:

-      Right, if you like winning a lot, you make a double lunch??

Our pensioner laughed, but the tension was palpable in his gesture - yesterday he played almost half of his pension. Two minutes later he was at the counter again because he asked for another game, he was not satisfied with the previous numbers.

- My dear Bélus - he filtered between his teeth - this morning I lost a twenty at the post office with the lottery ticket!!!

He stands, he stands, because perhaps he is waiting for some kind of condolence, some release, or an encouraging word.

However, the man behind the counter knows a lot about addiction, so he is also aware that if you encourage him , his guest will play until his money is gone, creating a false illusion is an invitation to lose his money, so he says:

- ok, try again, dear, but don't forget what you wrote down for shopping!!!

The woman is already rummaging feverishly through the lottery tickets, nods as if she understood the veiled admonition, and finally asks an unexpected question:

- Should I buy the lottery ticket with the number 12 or 35?

- At 12 o'clock.

He starts scraping immediately, he doesn't even step away from the counter, he scrapes, scrapes, his face soon changes, and he whispers to the seller:

- I won eight thousand, it was a good tip!!!

- Can I pay? Béla changed his tone from friendly to stricter.

- Yes...pay, dear! I WILL STILL GO TO THE POST OFFICE AND TRY MY LUCK THERE...."

The above case took place in a lottery in Szolnok years ago, but unfortunately it is not a unique story. Above all, his lesson is that men and women are equally at risk - although their gaming habits are different. In addition, a lack of self-control and self-deception can be recognized. A typical manifestation of the latter is that the player focuses only on his winnings , ignoring his losses or investments.

It is not possible to draw a sharp line that until now it is healthy, from now on it is a problematic habit, but we can say that it is easy to