GOOD GUY, BAD DRINKER
GOOD DRUNKS are all alike; every bad drunk is bad in his or her own way.
I, for example, am a self-destructive bad drunk. I’m pleasant until my fourth drink, after which I can be found weeping in the street, wondering where my phone is. (I am also prone to gifting my personal effects to strangers.)
Other drunks are bad in outward-facing ways. They’re belligerent and defensive. They take their pants off at corporate events. They get “handsy”.
Case in point: in August 2017, I was sitting at a bar with friends. I was pre-weepy, somewhere between drinks two and four, when I felt something on my right thigh. For a second I thought it was my skirt bunching up, so I did a little wiggle to dislodge it. Then I
