Diary of a Love Poet

By Brandon Terry

A father of five, four daughters one son, and a loving husband. A retired Soldier after 21 years of active-duty service. Molding and honing this craft since he was an adolescent when he discovered it at fifteen years old. He has performed and been featured in many venues spanning the coast even to Hawaii. Knowing a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book Savvy International
• Release date: Mar 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9781958876251

Brandon Terry

A father of five, four daughters one son, and a loving husband. A retired Soldier after 21 years of active-duty service. Molding and honing this craft since an adolescent when he discovered it at fifteen years old. He has performed and been featured a multitude of venues spanning the coast all even to Hawaii. Knowing a reader will enjoy his works as much as he poured into creating them.

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Copyright © 2023 by Brandon Terry

All rights reserved.

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Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN-13

Paperback 978-1-958876-24-4

eBook 978-1-958876-25-1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022915868

Amikah

Project Hurt

And I’m trying to figure out what to do

Never would I think that I would have 4 daughters born unto to me

But only get to raise half of hem

Once I was enamored with a woman whom I planted two seeds in soil hat I thought was fertile

Not realizing that her heart was a hard as bedrock

Made her my wife thinking that would make it easier but that only began the pain

We spent more time arguing and I received more no you can’t and ultimatums that a spoiled insolent child

Marriage is a compromise

Compromise is an action verb

Meaning both people involved have to give and little

10 months I is when I realized she was living by the rule of least interest involved

Meaning the Person LEAST interested in the relationship will Not comprise

After counseling and a few tried my hope for reconcile died

The union on Apr 14th...

Who’s gonna save my soul now?

I’m trying to figure out what to do..

I have four seeds of which only two I get to see

EVEN THOUGH?!

You get ‘your money’ monthly

One Thousand Four Hundred Ninety-Eight Dollars and sixteen cent for two babies that were born unto me free.

So now I’m paying for something that was already mine?

Since the 4th of July I haven’t spent time with my babies

I don’t get to see them even when I spend a month in Georgia

No calls!

No facetime!

No birthdays!

No Holidays!

Only in my sleep do we get a chance to get ice cream

Or watch Frozen and Despicable me on repeat

Introduced my babies to Daddy’s fiancé while I had that slim chance but

They can’t be in daddy’s wedding because it is abundantly apparent daddy has moved on & forward?

Why do want to do this to our babies?

Angel

Thief

Take all of this money that they ‘awarded me’ back!

Rewind this track!

This strife!

The last 16 years of pain called my Life!

AND MAKE IT RIGHT!

who’s gonna save my soul now?

Who can Explain To ME?!

why this person, raped me...

Why they took from me?

Swindled my sense of security.

Took from me, the solace of a sound night’s sleep

Robbed me of the ability to walk alone in the street, worry free

The person that, that

Punched holes in my dignity, with each torturous thrust

Now I’m forced to ask ‘therapists’ to rehabilitate me?!

If you split therapist after the letter E it says THE RAPIST

How do i know my therapist is not going to be The-Rapist of my shattered Psyche?!

You Stole From ME!!

Yes, this person is doing 12-15 in prison... that’s not enough

Yes, the courts awarded me Judgment money...

That’s not what i want i would rather not to have ever been raped....

i have lived in apprehension for the last six years of my life....

WHO IS GOING, TO, MAKE, THIS, RIGHT?!

You?....

You?...

My Family?

Friends?

The multitudes of condolences i received for the Death of my Spirit?

A different Fucking TheRapist?!

Take all of this awarded money this Judgment,

Judge ME money i don’t want it!

It is a constant reminder of it

Take me back 16 calendar years, to get rid of this anguish or someone Explain IT!!

Play the Tape!

So maybe i can see, what part i played in my rape...

How do i get back to the time before that act?

That rape that destroyed so much of my life, left so much of my spirit not intact...

...get away from the pain that is tenfold worse than any migraine some days?

How do i make it go away?

It does not matter when you read or hear me recite this.

Undeterminable timeframe, or day if you have the right to be pissed.

But stay headstrong each and every single day.

As a man, for your trauma I apologize.

Before today’s sunset on behalf of all decent people

We Apologize

Know you are not to blame for your pain.

Know that you did not and do not deserve your emotional pain.

Know that someone other than blood relatives can & will help love your pain away.

Nakapunde Ase

Angelica

Kiss Me

I wanted to kiss her,

I wanted to press her lips to mine

I mean, I wanted her to inhale my bottom lip in and then, damn…

Instead, I asked her to roll a blunt for me

It’d be like a fantasy kiss for me, with each twist of that back wood,

Once it was lit, would be like me tasting her lips

Each toke of it, of her, would be something for me to recall

Reminisce

Vicarious, I thought if I could taste her lips juuuuuust a little bit…

What her tongue and lips did to that leaf for the prize rolled inside it.

It might be an insight a bit, maybe I’ll know if a green light is lit.

You know… a go, a time that every nude person present, is willing

What I am saying is, this feels more than right.

Come, here.

Let me be your stuntman & do the things that your last guy was too afraid to do

Like listen, without interrupting you rudely

Like still loving you unconditionally even after days of you being moody.

Know this, people are in your life for a reason or season...Damn that!

I plan on being with you a lifetime, this is simple but deep…

I just enjoy gazing at you while you sleep.

That’s why I know that there are 53 natural eyelashes that you have on each eye.

I know you how you breathe deeply after a long day and you’re tired, just sleepy.

Also, I have an answer to your question from earlier sweetie…

You asked me why I just stare, smirk, and grin when I see you as you walk by?

Because your aura is an enchantment, it feels awesome and odd…

Zora Neal Hurston…

My eyes were watching God.

It is a Love story and…after finding you

I can only give my God the glory for leading me to you, no lie.

No need to be shy, but will you show me what heaven tastes and feels like before I die?

You, are, simply, exquisitely a living sample of divinity

Maybe it’s ironic that your name Anjelica, has a hint of Angel in it.

Just, let me learn you, then love you until you aren’t afraid to let love back in.

Let me caress the center your spirit, may I come in?

This only works if the power of a kiss and potential of love…

You would just, believe in it

Please, don’t tense up while I hold your palm,

Be calm completely, especially while you are within my arms.

A sincere facial embrace, the first place to start the journey to our most intimate place.

Don’t be nervous to let me taste and appreciate your lips.

Let me, be your last first kiss.

Nakapunde Ase

Brittany

A Favorite Memory

She didn’t hear me when I came home or when I called her name

I guess she was tired, she said earlier that she would be working in the garden today.

Searching through the house I found her.

The bedroom door was more than slightly ajar

I just paused there in awe, watching as she began undressing

I stood silently, soaking solace seeing such simple sensual seduction

Every move seems choreographed to a certain pace rhythm and beat

Asking for…

Wanting for…

Yearning for…

Begging for…

Me.

Just a perfect view,

Back was to me

Wrapping her hands around her frame and pulling upward wearily,

Slowly

Removing a t-shirt that wept as it was pried away from her breasts

Maybe it was just drops of sweat,

Regardless

A single fluid motion was revealing, exposing that gorgeous, gorgeous frame

Damn, I was jealous of the sunlight slivers that through the blinds crept in

That they were able to kiss her skin before I did.

Her shirt caught the clamp that restrained those braids

In story book fashion those entwined strands of strength draped across her shoulder blades

Each pausing in its own perfect setting and place,

Partially undressed and exuding femininity,

My slice of heaven…

My wife passed away in 2007

I’m just sitting on our sofa, on her birthday,

Listening to our song repeat

Just having a toast

Recalling a favorite memory.

Is You

Against my will I stand in front of mine own reflection

Because I can plainly see the worst part of me

I loved you since as long as I can remember.

Confusion was my residence,

Until I ran into epiphany three weeks ago,

She said ‘The riddle is this,

What will reform most men to love selflessly?

Without second thought or control living through emotion devoid of inhibitions’…

His wife and child,

But that does not mean that she is ready to do the same

Currently I seem to only speak in paradoxes of valediction

I hate that I love you

I’m sorry for being so good to you

Promise to love me like I do you and I will not leave me

Because once I’ve left and if the courts give you custody all I will have is me

If never you have seen a grown man cry…

Tell him, prove to him!

The love he knows is a lie I am that grown man!

I have painfully cried!

Yet will not attempt to conjure love amidst a heart filled with deceit,

A mouth full of lies I surmise that even though we under the sight of God

We were unified, that to you was not a binding tie

Even though you should lust for whom you love

You simply lusted out of whoreish ways.

Never think I shed tears for loving you

This spilling from mine eyes, is hatred of deception

So would it be blasphemous, to ask God to forgive me

For thinking you were a part of his prime celestial collection

By no means could such a whoremonger be positioned in his reflection

The truth is…

As I stare at mine own reflection is now clear

The worst part of me… Is you

Issues

I…

I have an issue

I have a problem that I cannot to seem to control as my days go on

Problem stated,

The solution to the problem I seek,

But still attempting to address then say is,

Is that I still love you

Although I feel that I shouldn’t

I am not supposed to

I do not deserve your affection

When

I was going thru our situation

Our separation,

A former life that I felt I should turn my back to…

I still loved you

You let me love you, I let you love me

Still I realized, I knew

I know, that I still love you

I love the person that you are

I love the person you make me want to be

The man that I wholeheartedly need to be for the greater good of we

Due to the constructive critiques you gave me

Your vantage points were truthful

Yet, I overwhelmingly overstand that these sentiments are not really

Are not really supposed to exist nor be

Amidst the chaos, I still love you

I really need to press pause on this situation-ship

Due to the single known notion that ‘love’

The concept of,

The view of if

The perception of what if

This consumes me to no equivocal end

Because I LOVE YOU!

because I know you have love for me as wellthe fallacy

I overstand how I must continue, progress forward

Outstanding obligations I have to fulfil to others

That now know I have to put on the back burner

Begging and seeking their forgiveness when you and I have done nothing wrong

…maybe I fel I led you on

I didn’t know what the effect would be

Of our daughter asking if she would get to see mommy and daddy daily

Couldn’t fathom the way seeing my estranged wife, her eyes

This look of whateveryouwantIshallgiveandcompromise

What that would do to my piece of being

Cupids Neice, Feb 14th 1980 I hope you never know what you do to me

My Greatest Muse, February 16th 1981

For such an immensely long time I believed the fallacy of you being my proverbial one

Now I see & believe that to you I am only an option

Mother of my deity June 2 1984

Realize the reason I cant ever for too long look into your eyes

By reason you presence ad spirit always humbles mine

So honestly speaking

The issue is that I…

Have sincerely loved another woman besides the mother of my child, my wife

I undoubtedly unequivocally loved and was caught up with their divinity

Yet as divine as I might’ve perceived them to be

I understand, that I can not pursue nor encourage this emotion to be

So with a humbled head, heart I lower my eyes…

I forgive my wife for all her indiscretions

Asking her to remain my wife

As well as begging to remain her husband

So we can once