Change Your Mind (And Kick That Habit)

By Gordon Hudson

We are creatures of habit. It's easy to get into using drugs and alcohol to cope with challenges of life, then ending up feeling stuck and unhappy. Fortunately, we can change. This book aims to help people caught in unhelpful avoidance behaviours, including drug and alcohol use, to make positive change.

 

While our minds make the choice to use substances, learning more about how our minds work can help us kick unhelpful habits. Our minds are designed for change. The more we understand them, the more we can use them to our greatest advantage.This knowledge can help steer our intention and efforts in the direction of life-enhancing change.

 

The book considers some of the misunderstandings and false beliefs which can keep us stuck; some of the basic principles of change; how our minds are easily steered in unhelpful directions, and the challenges we inevitably encounter when trying to change our minds. It discusses planning for change, and how to access external support services whilst also building inner resources that help cope with challenging times. 

 

The author's interest in the topic of making conscious change is not just academic. It's rooted in the challenges and changes he's faced in the course of his life. He grew up in South Africa, and left to avoid conscription into the army. He obtained refugee status in the UK and lived there for 12 years before emigrating to Australia. For nearly three decades he's worked, as a nurse and counsellor, in the fields of alcohol and other drugs, and mental health. His studies include a social sciences degree, nursing training, an advanced diploma in Traditional Chinese medicine, and a post-graduate diploma in mental health nursing. It also includes numerous shorter courses, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and other mindfulness related areas.

 

This book is based on extensive work, study and lived experience related to substance use and mental health. It encourages readers to get to know themselves better, and to better understand the workings of our unique minds, which we so often take for granted. It rests on the belief that an important key to making long lasting change is understanding and expressing our unique aptitudes and potentials.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gordon Hudson
• Release date: Mar 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215175590

Book preview

Dedicated to my family and friends, colleagues and clients, and everyone I have learnt from along the way.

Respects to the great team of counsellors I work with at MHC.

Thanks to the Vic Park Writers Group, for motivating me to write this book.

Acknowledgements to the first people and custodians of the land on which I live, the Whadjuk Noongar

Any views expressed in this book are the writer’s and do not represent the views of any agency or organisation.

While there is some logic to how the different sections of this book are arranged, it doesn’t have to be read from cover to cover. Readers may also dip in and out of it, guided by the chapter headings.

The pictures between chapters are included to encourage a pause for contemplation and a few deep breaths before moving on to the next section. All photos were taken by the author.

Audio versions of some meditation exercises included in the appendix are available online at https://soundcloud.com/gordon-hudson-135350297

Table of contents

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Setting the scene   

Chapter 2: Myths and misconceptions

Chapter 3: Only bad people have substance use problems?

Chapter 4: I’m too damaged?        

Chapter 5: The quick fix         

Chapter 6: Doctor knows best?        

Chapter 7: Is substance use a disease?       

Chapter 8: Successful change means getting what I think I need   

Chapter 9: I just want to be normal       

Chapter 10: Do what we’ve always done and we get what we always got  

Chapter 11: What is positive change?       

Chapter 12: A renovation, not a new build      

Chapter 13: Being kind to ourselves       

Chapter 14: Lessons in learning        

Chapter 15: Staying focused on what is possible      

Chapter 16: Strength in vulnerability       

Chapter 17: The best way to get rid of old habits...     

Chapter 18: Looking after the bodymind       

Chapter 19: The mind is not (just) the brain       

Chapter 20: Ways of understanding the mind      

Chapter 21: Lost in thought        

Chapter 22: Come to your senses        

Chapter 23: Minds are for changing       

Chapter 24: The mind has a mind of its own      

Chapter 25: What is your mind like?       

Chapter 26: Carrot and stick        

Chapter 27: Attachment to suffering?      

Chapter 28: Recognising and harnessing emotions     

Chapter 29: We all have a negativity bias       

Chapter 30: Creatures of habit        

Chapter 31: Relationships in an individualistic age     

Chapter 32: Neuroplasticity and the adaptable mind     

Chapter 33: Strengths and weaknesses       

Chapter 34: Planning for success        

Chapter 35: The value of values.        

Chapter 36: Building support for change       

Chapter 37: External supports        

Chapter 38: Counselling.

Chapter 39: Self-help groups.

Chapter 40: Detox

Chapter 41: Rehab.

Chapter 42: A pill for every ill?

Chapter 43: Access issues

Chapter 44: See a GP.

Chapter 45: Do you need a psychiatrist?

Chapter 46: Why consult a psychologist?

Chapter 47: Web-based support.

Chapter 48: Many paths to healing.

Chapter 49: Internal supports        

Chapter 50: Mindfulness and meditation       

Chapter 51: Acceptance   

Chapter 52: Compassion for self and others      

Chapter 53: An attitude of gratitude       

Chapter 54: Cultivating inner strength

Chapter 55: Creating and strengthening foundations     

Chapter 56: Exercise and diet      

Chapter 57: Sleep          

Chapter 58: Creating and changing        

Chapter 59: Getting and staying connected

Chapter 60: Key considerations

Chapter 61: A basic toolkit

Chapter 62: The rocky road of transformation

Chapter 63: Owning my agenda.

Chapter 64: The outline of a life

Chapter 65: Family foundations

Chapter 66: The power of nature

Chapter 67: You are what you eat

Chapter 68: The importance of exercise

Chapter 69: Chasing the quick fix

Chapter 70: Minding my mind

Chapter 71: HeART

Chapter 72: Round pegs and square holes

Chapter 73: Getting on with myself

Chapter 74: Embracing change and doing the work

Chapter 75: Making my own choices

Chapter 76: What’s it all about?

Appendix

1 Three sighs

2 The body scan

3 Awareness of the breath

4 Body and breath awareness

5 Mindful walking

6 Awareness of sounds

7 Mantra meditation

8 Spot meditations

9 Short thought exercises

10 Mindfulness of emotions and sensations

11 Self-compassion pause

12 Table of contents (Long version)

Preface

When I was growing up in South Africa during the apartheid era, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life except escape. I lived in an unjust divided country, in a family where my parent’s marriage was deeply unhappy and one of my parents had ongoing mental health struggles. As I grew up, I often felt like an outsider. This was both because I knew the society I lived in was fundamentally flawed, as well as family and identity issues.

I left the country aged 22 and went to the UK to apply for refugee status, in order to avoid conscription into the apartheid army. I had no idea how many challenges lay ahead. Unable to return to my country of birth, I had to survive alone in a strange land. I needed to secure permission to stay in the UK, to find a home and work, and create new connections. For most of the period from my late teens until my early 30s I was dependent on cannabis. I had difficulty in relationships. When I was in them, I wanted my freedom, and when I was out of them, I wanted back in. I struggled with a lack of any sense of meaning and purpose, apart from avoiding as much of the unpleasantness that life could generate.

Years later I am still surprised and grateful to find myself in a much better place, physically and psychologically, despite this turbulent period. Like most people I meet, I have my ups and downs, but have been able to take a much greater degree of control over the direction of my life, and enjoy a sense of meaning and engagement.

A significant part of my life is my work as a counsellor in the field of mental health and alcohol and other drugs. I love this work. I’ve acquired a large body of relevant knowledge and experience through the course of my life and seem to be able to use this effectively in my work with clients.  I try to help people to identify what’s not working for them, where their most helpful choices lie, to make plans for change and put these into action, and to reflect on their progress. My goal is to help them to see that the power to change is in their hands, and to use this power. Ideally, I would like to do myself out of my job because clients no longer need my assistance.

Over years of reflecting on my work, I’ve increasingly thought about writing a book incorporating everything I have learnt about making change. I finally got down to the task, and over two years later, this is the result. The diverse studies and work I have done in the field of psychological health and wellbeing have been a huge influence. I completed a degree in psychology and social anthropology straight out of school. While in the UK I completed nursing training. I’ve studied Traditional Chinese medicine and practised acupuncture. I completed postgraduate studies in mental health nursing, as well as a number of other courses, particularly related to mindfulness. I’ve worked in nursing for over 30 years, and more than 20 of those were in mental health and alcohol and other drugs. I’ve been an alcohol and other drugs counsellor for 16 years. I’ve run many mindfulness groups for clients and professionals.

However, this book isn’t based solely on academic or work experience. I have survived and thrived despite facing a variety of challenges, including living in a deeply unhappy home in a very troubled society; growing up with a strong sense of not fitting in; dependence on substances; living life on the margins as a refugee; rebuilding my life on my own, far from family and friends; and dealing with my challenges and vulnerabilities in relationships. Despite, or maybe because of, these challenges, I have made many big changes in my life. Some of these transitions include losing a significant amount of weight as a teenager; leaving my country of birth to create a new home on my own, first in the UK and then Australia; taking up and maintaining a long-term commitment to exercise and meditation; overcoming my dependence on cannabis; training as a nurse in my late 20s; following my instincts and eventually finding work that I love and which I’m passionate about; acquiring my own home in my 40s; and learning to embrace living alone.

My style of work as a counsellor arises as much out of my studies and work, as it does through my wider life experiences, including the challenging and difficult ones. A variety of circumstances combined to my leading a life well outside the mainstream, and this has allowed me to bring a unique perspective and skillset to my work and the topic of change.

This book doesn’t just reflect an academic interest in the topic of change. It has been hugely influenced by challenges I’ve faced. Somehow, I’ve ended up feeling grateful for experiences I’ve had along the way, including some of the most difficult and painful ones. They are all part of my story and my learning, and have led me to where I am today. I do work that I love and love the life I live (most of the time), and try to follow the same principles and practices I discuss with clients in order to live my best life (or a better one, at least).

We’re all fellow travellers, stumbling our way through this mystery called life. If this book helps you, the reader, to navigate this frequently difficult journey a little better, and to connect with, express and honour your unique vulnerabilities and potentials, then it’s achieved its purpose.

Introduction

Are you concerned about the effects of your substance use or other unhelpful behaviours? Do you feel in control of these behaviours? Are they causing financial, health, legal, work and/or relationships stress? Do people who you care for and respect keep telling you they’re worried about you? Perhaps you feel like there’s a better version of you trying to get out? Basically, do you feel like you have your act together? It ultimately doesn’t matter what other people’s judgments are – how do you feel about the choices you’re making in your life?

If we’re not happy with where we’re at and choices that we’re making, it’s an invitation to think about making change. The need to do so is something that we all face, often repeatedly. This book addresses the challenges and opportunities of trying to transform old unhelpful habits. It’s aimed at people trying to change substance use and other avoidance behaviours. These may include behaviours like gambling, overeating and sexual addiction.

With these and other behaviours, we can create habits that get in the way of the life we aspire to. Changing such habits and maintaining the change long-term is often difficult and uncomfortable. Whether we are trying to get away from unpleasant consequences or to move towards positive goals, or both, making change can sometimes seem almost impossible. At times, it may seem easy initially, but sustaining it can seem unachievable.

The fact that personal transformation is difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth striving for. The goals that seem most difficult are often the ones most worth pursuing. Just imagine if babies decided that learning to walk involved too many spills! None of us would get very far. But think of the look on a child’s face as it takes its first wobbly steps, hesitant at first, but then increasingly exhilarated as it gets the hang of it. By stepping out of its comfort zone and taking risks, by being persistent despite the falls, it gains more agency, choice and possibility. Learning this skill, that most adults take for granted, is just one tiny aspect of everything children learn, all the potential and need for change we encounter throughout our lives.

As newborn infants, our brains are designed to absorb and process vast amounts of information. From the moment of birth, we start organising and slowly making sense of all our experiences, a process facilitated by the family, community and wider society into which we are born. As children, when we learn and undergo the huge variety of changes involved in growing up, we generally do so without much of a plan. Our infant brains and minds are flexible and open, programmed for learning and development.

In adulthood, unlike when we were children, our brains no longer soak up information like sponges. Frequently we operate on autopilot, performing everyday tasks competently with little thought, because they have become habits. This also applies to our less helpful habits. They can become so deeply rooted that we end up doing them almost unconsciously. It can end up feeling like they have a life of their own. This book aims to look at the ways our minds can create both helpful and unhelpful habits, as well as providing information and strategies related to changing these habits.

If we repeatedly and unsuccessfully try to make change, it suggests that a good plan is needed. Trying to make change without a plan is like trying to build a house without a design. Over time any progress made may prove fragile, unreliable and prone to collapsing under stress. But a good plan means nothing unless translated into committed action. We have to keep on doing the work. Changing deeply rooted habits takes time.

Seeking support can greatly help that long-term process. Support and assistance of others can prove invaluable. When a child starts learning to walk, the adults around offer it encouragement when it falls. When we step out of our comfort zone we generally benefit from having a range of supports. They can provide practical ideas and help, opportunities to reflect on progress, the chance to unburden by sharing difficulties, and other benefits.

The journey of change is also about cultivating our ability to care for ourselves. While holding ourselves accountable is crucial, so is being compassionate to ourselves. Many people dealing with substance use struggle to be kind to themselves. Learning and change usually involves many missteps before we get it right. Going easy on ourselves can make that challenging process a little easier. It is possible to become kinder to ourselves, but like many other changes, it may require time and effort.

This book is divided into different sections. Some discuss ideas that may help or hinder the process of transformation. Awareness of these issues can help provide a perspective that allows for more choice during the change process.  Others are more practical and deal with planning, implementing and maintaining the behavioural strategies that change involves. At times I refer to relevant personal experience, mainly in relation to why I hold opinions expressed in this book. This is included for the sake of transparency. The process of change involves values and judgments, and I believe it is important to acknowledge the values I hold.

The first section, chapter 1 sets the scene, and provides a brief broad overview of the scope of the book.

The second section, chapters 2 to 9, addresses common myths and misconceptions that contribute to people feeling stuck. People dealing with substance use and other life controlling behaviours often spend a lot of time blaming and shaming themselves. Our society sometimes offers simplistic messages like Just say no!. This can make it easy to overlook how much bigger social and cultural factors can contribute to people developing these problems in the first place, as well as making recovery more challenging. An understanding of these broader factors may help to navigate the potential pitfalls and obstacles they can create. Realising the way societal factors can affect individual choices and behaviours may also help us to be kinder to ourselves.

The third section, chapters 10 to 17, focuses on key principles relating to making change. While everyone has to find their own individual path, there are underlying common themes, and understanding these broad issues relating to the process of change can provide helpful perspective. When we are caught in the challenge of attempting to change and don’t understand why we are struggling, it may become tempting to believe it’s all too hard, succumb to despair, and give up. Understanding that all humans experience common difficulties and issues when trying to change, and that these are part of the process, may help us to stay the course when times are tough.

The fourth section, chapters 18 to 33, looks at common challenges and opportunities that confront us on the path of transformation. Many factors can either hinder or help the process of change. These stem from a variety of sources. Millions of years of evolution into our species, homo sapiens, and tens of thousands of years of the development of human societies both play their part. Likewise, our own life stories and those of our family shape us in ways that create both pitfalls as well as potentials.

Our minds all have built in vulnerabilities that may not work to our advantage, as well as potentials that can serve us well. Some arise as members of the human race. Others relate to the influence of the particular culture we grow up in. From the time we are born we are exposed to diverse influences through our families, communities and wider society that can be helpful or unhelpful, and are often both. Recognising the most common challenges and opportunities for all human beings on the path of change can help us understand how our individual struggle is part of a much bigger picture.

The fifth section, chapters 34 to 54, looks at strategies and techniques that facilitate change. Most work needs tools. Making change is often hard work. Just as a toolbox full of many tools allows us to deal with a wide range of practical tasks, so a change toolkit with many different strategies better prepares us to deal with the complexities of reshaping our lives, and then living our best lives once we have achieved the desired changes.

The sixth section, chapters 55 to 59, considers key components of a healthy balanced life. Meaningful long-term change needs a stable foundation. This section considers some of the key areas of life that can help to provide the foundations for the process of change. Failing to attend to some of these will almost guarantee that long-term change is not going to happen. Any structure resting on flimsy foundations is liable to crumble under stress, as is any plan for change. Other ideas discussed here may be helpful but optional. However, all broaden the foundation on which we build our lives and help us to create more expansive lives and increase choice, rather than making our ongoing wellbeing dependent on a narrow range of options.

The sixth section, chapters 60 to 62, is a brief overview of how to make change happen, summarising some of the key areas covered elsewhere in the book.

The seventh section, chapters 63 to 75, is a brief overview of key aspects of my own life that inform this book. It is not intended as an autobiographical tell-all, nor to suggest I have had an exceptional life. I include it because much of what I discuss I learnt through my own personal experience.

The eighth section, chapter 76, is a brief afterword

The final section is the appendix, which includes a number of practical meditation and mindfulness-based exercises.

Much of this book is based on over 30 years of working and studying in the field of health, especially substance use and mental health. Much of it is also grounded in my life experience dealing with various challenges, and learning valuable lessons as I did so. I’ve had luck and assistance along the way, but my life hasn’t always been easy. Many of the lessons I’ve learnt have been hard won. While I am grateful for some of the difficult times of my life with the benefit of hindsight, at the time I would have gladly avoided them.

In my work with clients as a nurse, counsellor or acupuncturist, I try to be real, practical and grounded. I am aware of the privilege of being able to do the work I’ve done, and how easily I might be the one needing help. The ways I work and strategies I suggest are based in research and clinical guidelines, wherever possible, but I have also experienced or witnessed how these strategies have helped me and people through my work and personal life.

In summary, this book aims to be a down to earth guide for anyone wanting to reduce their reliance on substance use or other unhelpful behaviours used to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Some of what I say is direct and may be seen as challenging, but I believe that straight talking can be useful.  In my life, some of the most powerful transformative insights I had happened when others were direct with me. The truth can be painful, but it can also set us free if it motivates us to contemplate and make helpful change. Hopefully my direct approach is balanced by the awareness that we are all vulnerable humans with emotions, needs and sensitivities. This book also tries to recognise and nurture all those qualities.

If you don’t want to be challenged, you may want to avoid this book. Sadly, however, if you are not willing to be challenged you are unlikely to make much meaningful change. Transformation is all about moving beyond existing beliefs about ourselves, and trying to create different versions of who we are. Successfully doing so may bring huge rewards, but it also brings difficulty, discomfort, anxiety and many other uncomfortable experiences and psychological states along the way.

However, even though change is often painful, sooner or later we will also face pain if we don’t change. Our lives, the world around us, the entire universe, are all constantly transforming. Most of us seek a degree of stability and constancy in our lives, but we need to balance that wish with a willingness either to actively pursue change, or at least to deal with the changes that life inevitably brings. Hopefully this book helps with that process.

Chapter 1: Setting the scene

There are so many ways we can get stuck in unhelpful behaviours. Attachment to and dependence on intoxicating substances. Toxic relationships with family, partners and friends. Eating issues. Compulsive shopping. Sexual hook ups. Gambling. Gaming. There are many others besides. At some level we often know they’re causing problems, but we keep on doing them just to feel ok in the moment. Even activities like work and exercise can become problematic, when we use them to avoid other uncomfortable aspects of our experience.

None of these different behaviours are necessarily problematic. Plenty of people use substances and live happy functional lives. Most of us have periods of spending more than we can easily afford but manage to keep on doing what’s important. Sex can be fun, deep and meaningful, and is helpful for creating children (for those wanting them). We all need to eat, and can relish our food without necessarily forming problematic behaviours around it.

This book only addresses avoidance behaviours, if they are getting in the way of a better life. Behaviours don’t just refer to the obvious activities we perform that other people can see, like drinking, drugging, gambling etc (though often we try to keep these behaviours hidden when they start to become problematic). They also refer to what goes on in our minds – our thoughts and feelings – as well as our interactions with other people and the world. Many of our patterns of thinking and feeling are learnt and often deeply habitual, and strongly affect the more obvious behaviours we display in the world.

How do we understand and best express who we are? Discovering who we are is a life-long process, and can be difficult. So many different factors can get in the way of us exploring who we really are as individuals. These include our upbringing, well-meaning friends and family, the need to make a living, our fears and insecurities, and prioritising short-term advantage over long-term wellbeing. However, this search for our more authentic selves lies at the heart of a meaningful life. Finding out as much as we can about who we are at our core, and trying to act in a way that’s aligned with and expresses what is most fundamental to us as individuals, is what really makes us feel alive.

No-one really knows exactly what determines who we are as individuals and, thus, what our best version of ourselves is. Clearly genetics and the environment both play a part. If you have a spiritual belief, this may be relevant to your understanding of the issue. Ultimately, it is up to each of us to figure out as best we can what makes us unique individuals, our strengths and vulnerabilities, and what goals and values will give our lives the most meaning.

If we try to be authentic in our lives, and make our actions reflect what matters most to us, we may start to feel a greater sense of meaning in and connection with life, even if it is sometimes hard. Often the people around us would prefer us to remain the version of us that they know, rather than having to adjust to the individual we aspire to be. However, we get many clues from life when we’re not being true to our essential nature. Sometimes it may take a long gradual process to connect the dots and become aware that what we are doing is not what we want to do for the rest of our lives. At other times the opposite is true and we rapidly realise that we need to change.

Other people’s advice and input may play a part but true change comes from within. If we are changing to please and appease important people and institutions in our lives, any process of transformation is likely to flounder sooner or later. We may present a mask of success to the world, but inside we will not feel the sense of authenticity and engagement that makes life truly worth living. We’re challenged to steer the journey of change, in order to make it consistent with what matters deep down to us.

Whenever we start to think about reshaping our lives in order to become more like the person we need to be, we connect with a key aspect of being human. No matter what external obligations and realities or internal thought patterns and feelings are holding us back, we start to consider the possibility of making different choices. This ability to choose is a fundamental aspect of the human mind and spirit.

We are part of the animal kingdom, despite how we try to ignore this fact. Of all living creatures on earth, we are the most dependent on learning and least reliant on instinct. That is why we are helpless babies and needy children for so long. This extended period of learning lays the foundations of being human. Learning one or more languages, creating and building relationships, developing a sense of self, formal study and many other experiences hopefully help us to transform from completely dependent infants to independent autonomous adults.

All this learning determines our behaviour and choices. We do what we do because of the lessons we learn along the way. Much of what we do tends to be routine, following similar patterns over time. Because much of life involves repetitive routines, most of the time we operate as creatures of habit, not thinking much about the choices we make daily. But every moment of every day there is the potential to make different choices.

This is the scary but liberating fact we face when we realise that one or more of our behaviours isn’t working for us. Accepting that we have choice can be confronting. It puts responsibility back in our hands. We may have spent much time blaming other people or society for our predicament. Making different choices raises the possibility of change.  We may be able to steer a course out of the stuck situation we’ve found ourselves in.

However, the process may be uncomfortable. Change often involves a degree of pain. But trying to avoid that pain only keeps us stuck. This book is dedicated to all those feeling that pain of wanting change and struggling to achieve it. Hang on in there and keep on trying. Be kind to yourself. Reach out for support. Reach in and use the knowledge and skills you already have. Be willing to keep on learning and challenging yourself. Things can improve, but not always in the ways we expected. If you really commit to the process of self-transformation, you may gain much more than you originally hoped for.

Chapter 2: Myths & Misconceptions

When we start thinking about how we might like to set about becoming a different version of ourselves, we confront various collective myths and blind spots. If we accept them unquestioningly, they may hinder our efforts from the start. These myths relate both to the uncomfortable situations we confront which motivate us to consider change, as well as how we might make that change.

Often one of the factors that can keep people stuck is a sense that their struggle with substance use and other unhelpful habits is unique, and that it is all their responsibility. Many media messages have perpetrated this idea, reflecting the predominant attitudes towards the issue. However, these messages have often been extremely biased and moralistic, and reflect much bigger issues. One such example was the war on drugs initiated by the United States in the early 1970’s, and which came to dominate much drug policy and law all around the world for the next 50 years. There is a growing awareness globally that this approach has not only failed, but has also generated a whole range of problems including the marginalisation, stigmatisation and criminalisation of vast numbers of people.

Another factor is the rise of the medical and pharmaceutical industries, with the tendency to pathologise many aspects of human behaviour which, although problematic, aren’t necessarily medical. This trend has contributed to the rise in the use of psychotropic medications in order to try to manage many conditions that might be much more effectively addressed through a range of other interventions.

Other relevant factors arise out of the nature of our society and its values. Many of us hold them, but when they’re taken to extremes may lead to an unhelpful reliance on substances. Sometimes we are victims of our own success. In creating much wealthier and more technologically advanced societies than our ancestors lived in one or two hundred years ago, we have also raised the bar on what people expect. We are no longer as willing to accept forms of physical and psychological discomfort, which makes the quick fix of substances all the more appealing.

However, while these wider factors are relevant and can impact on how people respond when they recognise they have substance use issues and that they want to address them, they don’t remove ultimate responsibility for change from the individual. Only we can change our own choices. But the more we understand all the different factors that impact on us, and why and how we use substances, the more power we have in how we respond.

Chapter 3: Only bad people have substance use problems?

Shame can be a potent factor that inclines people to seek the relief of substances in the first place. However, substance use and some of the many consequences that can arise from this, can add new layers of shame that make it all the more difficult for people to reach out for help. There are all the people using substances who fall foul of police and the justice system, with implications like criminal records, financial penalties and incarceration. But beyond this, many more people experience adverse impacts on work, relationships, health and housing, amongst a range of areas. All these can add to the burden of shame that people can experience.

Even for people who encounter none of these issues, they may still have to grapple with how to understand their use of substances in a society which makes many moral judgments about the topic. At best, they may have a disease, according to the medical model. At worst, they are weak or wicked, according to long held traditional views. The debate is rapidly changing, but old habits die hard, and many people grew up in times where these older attitudes were more common.

All these different factors may, singly or in combination, be part of why people are reluctant to seek support. However, the reality is that substance use has been an almost universal part of human culture for thousands of years, at least. Substance use has no necessary connection with how good or bad we are. Not much more than a century ago substances like cannabis, cocaine and heroin were all legally available and widely used. There are a diverse range of reasons, some of them very bad ones, for why laws and attitudes have changed over time and why they continue to change. The rise in the use of medical cannabis, as well as the growing use of hallucinogens like psilocybin and MDMA for certain mental health conditions are clear evidence.

The fact that substance use is a common part of human society does not imply that it is harmless. However, many of the harms that impact the most on global wellbeing and security arise out of the war on drugs, rather than the drugs themselves. As long as the beliefs and attitudes arising from this war persist, society will continue to be unhelpfully polarised around the topic. And this can translate into individuals, who use substances and start to recognise that they want to make change, taking longer to start taking meaningful steps to address the problem.

In my experience working on a drug and alcohol helpline, many callers feel great embarrassment, shame and hesitation about calling the service for help, particularly the first time. Even after they have called repeatedly and know that they are not going to be judged and will be offered skilled and compassionate support, they often continue to relentlessly criticise and judge themselves for the behaviours that they are struggling to change. This can help perpetuate those same behaviours, if they resort to reaching for the usual solution for difficult thoughts and feelings

Chapter 4: I’m too damaged?

You can teach an old dog new tricks. Till recently it was believed the human brain stopped developing at a certain age. Estimates of the age that this occurred varied from around six to the early twenties. After this point it was all downhill, as far as the brain went. This process of physical deterioration led to inevitable decline of our mental function as we age.

According to this long-held view of the mind, after a certain point we’re on a slippery slope, losing brain cells and cognitive function. Behaviours like substance use only accelerate that process. This perspective potentially fed the belief that substance use causes irreparable damage so it is pointless trying to change, if we’ve reached the point of dependence.

Keep on trying. Recent scientific findings about the brain suggest otherwise. They point to the potential for the brain and the mind to be highly adaptable. It is true that severe and possibly permanent damage can be caused by substance use. However, research increasingly reveals both how behavioural changes can alter the progression of physical and psychological health problems, as well as the brain’s capacity for healing.

No matter what impacts unhelpful habits may have had on health, there is potential for significant improvement, if we do the work. We may not undo all the adverse effects of past behaviours, but can make a significant impact on future health prospects. If we are considering change but find that thoughts like It’s too late, I’m already screwed keep recurring, it’s important to notice them and not feed them. Many of our thoughts aren’t necessarily true.

There is a part of us that is very attached to our old habits. When we become aware that choices are no longer working and consider change, this part of us resists this possibility. It only wants more of the same, and will try to find all sorts of ways to persuade us not to change. Getting hooked into these thoughts, which say it’s too late to change, and treating them as if they are true, is potentially self-sabotage. Ways of dealing constructively with these and other unhelpful thoughts are discussed throughout the book.

Chapter 5: The quick fix

Quick fixes aren’t long-term solutions. Most of us would like to imagine