My Two Cents: Dating, Relationship, and Marriage advice from a Male Perspective!

By Deondre Long

My Two Cents is a book I started over a decade ago while deployed to Baghdad, Iraq, during the days and nights I could not sleep. I was experiencing so much turmoil, and this book is a direct reflection of ideas and opinions from a man’s perspective (from my heart) of what is necessary to be said or done within a relationship. These opinions are solely based on my experiences over my lifetime, which, as a result, shed light on the possibilities of sustaining growth, maturity, love, and support throughout friendship or a relationship. The chapters currently written do not cover everything, but it is a synopsis of the many attributes, values, and morals that are needed to be considered to defeat divorce or breakups. Furthermore, this book is filled with relatable content to help readers understand the importance of being who you are as well as accepting others as themselves. In order to grow and not hide behind a mask, one must unmask their true identity and live their truth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9781648014086

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My Two Cents

Dating, Relationship, and Marriage advice from a Male Perspective!

Deondre Long

Copyright © 2020 Deondre Long

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2020

ISBN 978-1-64801-407-9 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64801-408-6 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Space

Spirituality

Communication

Communication Cont…

Outward Appearance

Surroundings

Outings

Taking Care of Home

Sex: Foreplay (Kissing, Etc.)

Family and Kids

Trust

Finances

The 2/3, 3/3 Rule

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to those who have provided me with the experiences needed to grow personally and professionally over the last twenty-two years. Your unwavering assistance cultivated my understanding on the importance of healthy relationships and the components needed for longevity. Our association encouraged me to write this book, so thank you!

1

Space

When starting a relationship or friendship that you feel has a great possibility of becoming a future marriage, you must maintain your space. Maintaining space leaves an opportunity for a relationship to grow. Often a relationship is hindered because people decide to move too fast instead of dating. Dating is simple. To sum up my definition of dating, I would say it’s giving someone you desire your spare time and as often as you’re available.

It is 2020, and in today’s society, there are so many means, ways, and ends to get in contact with someone if it is your sole desire, just as if you don’t desire to. All I’m saying is, there is no room for mixed signals. The resources we have today are nothing like we had in the late 1990s and early 2000s, so excuses today are out the window.

Dating is an action; meaning, it is actively pursuing, engaging, and giving up your most precious resource—time—to get to know someone else on another level personally. Depending on the current situation of each individual, often within the first three to four months of dating or communicating, the conversation is about moving in with each other with this want-it-now generation when they haven’t even explored all the necessities needed before making such decision. It usually starts because sex is usually had within the first few months of meeting and effective time being spent because patience is no more.

Maintaining space allows you to, first of all, remain independent, which allows the person to see your day-to-day life from a distance, as well as open lines up for communication and, at times, help you with it without total involvement. Space allows you to maneuver on your own accord without making you feel trapped, like you have to report to someone of your whereabouts.

Keeping the keys to your crib is important—don’t give up your keys no matter how important a person feels they need them or you feel they deserve them. And if you do give up your keys for a certain event, ensure you get your keys back as soon as possible. Ask the simple question, Did you get keys made of your own?

Space is important because you maintain control of something in the friendship/relationship. If for some reason you share your crib with someone else, maintain the common courtesy of your roommate and keep them informed of meeting times at the house (this just might mean your child). They also like space, with less involvement in your life. Your guest may be an uncomfortable guest for everyone else. You have to understand, moving in with a person takes away the surprise of what marriage should be like or would be like if ever you both are deeply involved.

In the event your significant other stays at your house, and it’s within the first three months of you spending time with them, make them sleep on the couch or in the spare bedroom. If you do so, capitalize on it by making them breakfast in the morning. They would’ve thought all night, while trying to sleep, what’s taking place in your room and wishing they were beside you. I guarantee you that over breakfast, they will become so sentimental and tell you how much they thought about you while they were sleeping or make small gestures like they missed you when away from you! Most individuals will begin to tell you about what they have planned for that day, so you can interrupt and give your two cents. This is their way of saying they are trying to spend more time with you without saying it literally.

Most people love a chase, especially men and the possibility of getting the woman of his desire. If you make it easy on your significant other, they will lose interest quickly, and you will lose them quicker than you would’ve had if you didn’t make them wait. Your time with your significant other becomes fun because most individuals will do everything in their power and within their means to maintain your attention. That’s the key to a person’s heart, especially a woman’s heart: attention. You must understand, once the chase is over and you give up your position or your space, you run the risk of relationship danger. When I say relationship danger, I mean the chance of your relationship becoming boring. When you maintain space, you leave yourself options and availability to do things differently. That’s very key in relationships and friendships. One-way roads are boring. That’s the same with a one-way relationship, so enjoy options. Most of all, enjoy your space!

Space is very important. You’re not married, so enjoy your life until that day comes along.

Before I close this tip on space, I’ll tell you one of my experiences that come to mind. I remember dating a young lady in Alaska for about three to four months. Every time I would stop by her crib, she would make me wait outside until she was ready to come out to go wherever we were going.