I Don't Talk, You Don't Listen

By Kimberly Peters and Peter Peters

If you are in a committed relationship, or if you are in the process of looking for that perfect partner, then you should be aware of the importance of effective communications in any relationship.

Every person in a relationship needs to understand the value behind being able to communicate effectively.

Since no two people are exactly alike, it stands to reason that two people trying to blend their lives together are going to have problems and issues from time to time.

Communicating with each other is the only way we can find out about our partner's and learn who they are, why they are the way that they are and what they are looking for from the relationship and their partner. There is no other way to discover this important information.

"I Don't Talk, You Don't Listen" gives everyone in a relationship or looking to start one the skills they need to become the best partner they can possibly be. these are easy to learn and implement skills and techniques that will help bring you and your partner closer together and help you build a stronger and healthier relationship.

Your relationship is only as good as both people feel. So why not do everything you possibly can to be a better and more responsive partner while building a stronger relationship at the same time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Peter & Kimberly Peters
• Release date: Jul 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781516389186

Book preview

I Don’t Talk,

You Don’t Listen!

Communication Miracles

for Couples

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By

Pete & Kimberly Peters

All Rights Reserved  2014  26 Ways.com

Other Books from 26Ways.com:

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How to Become a Better Husband

How to Become the Best Wife Ever!

How to Be a Good Boyfriend

How to Become a Better Manager

Dealing with Difficult People

Listening Skills

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Contents

Introduction

Why Communication is So Important

Why Communication is Much More Difficult Today

Relationship Overconfidence

Why You Shouldn’t Give Up

The Balancing Act

Honestly, this is the Best Way to Be

Relationships are NOT Contests

Emotional Baggage

News Flash! You’re Not Perfect Either!

Are Your Responsible?

How to Talk

How to Listen

Never Assume

Your Body Talks!

He Doesn’t Have Crystal Balls and Neither do You!

Being Clear

Putting the I In Communication

Pardon the Interruption

Forgetting the Past

Fighting Fair

The 100% Solution

Acknowledge Each Other’s Feelings

Place Yourself in Their Shoes

Looking at Yourself First

The Feelings Filter

Show Empathy

Tell Each Other You Love Them.

Show Each Other Your Love Them

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Happy

Define Successful in the Right Way

Make Time for You to Be Together

Maintain a Positive Outlook

Don’t Be Afraid to take it Outside

Conclusion

Disclaimer

This book is designed to be used as a resource only and not to be considered as a definitive plan or advice for any particular situation or relationship. Some or all of the information in this book may not be suitable for everyone or every relationship. The writers, distributors and sellers of this publication assume no responsibility for the use or application of any or all parts of this book. The reader assumes all responsibility for determining the suitability for any or all of the information in this book as it might pertain to any specific relationship or situation.

Introduction

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Today about half of marriages will end in divorce. That is a sad statistic but one based on reality as well. There are many reasons for this but regardless of the reasons, it is more difficult today for a marriage to survive than ever before. But some marriages do survive and some flourish beyond all expectations. It can make you wonder what those people are doing that the rest of us are not. Maybe if we all knew that, we would stay together longer and have a happier life.

Make no mistake, a long term relationship is not easy to navigate through. Every time two different people get together to live one life there are bound to be disagreements, differences in values and morals and many other things that happen whenever two people get closer with each other over time.

I am not saying this book has the answer to marriage longevity but I honestly think it provides a huge advantage to the couples who read it and practice what we discuss. It is not a cure all for all problems and you will not live happily ever after in a perfect relationship with no fighting or disagreements after you have read it.

But what you will have are some very effective tools and techniques for getting through the rough times with your relationship intact and without much, if any, long term damage or side effects. Once you get the hang of things, it is really not difficult at all. Once you get past the initial awkwardness and are able to open up to each other, everything gets much easier.

Most troubles in relationships and marriage come from our inability or reluctance to communicate with each other. This prevents us from getting as close to each other as we would like and never allows us to really get to know each other and understand what we are thinking or wanting from our relationships. It becomes a kind of vicious circle where you get angry when you don’t get what you want but the other person has no idea what you do want so you never get it and you remain angry!

I have been married over 30 years and I can say that at one time or another both of us have suffered from every item listed in this book. I honestly think every couple does that at one time or another. But I also believe that it is the couples that go through each of these stages and learn from them that come out stronger and closer to their partners.

I also think that each of us has a choice to make. We can either accept things the way they are or we can take responsibility for every single part of our lives and take action to make things better and more like we would like them to be. I don’t believe that as long as we are patient that everything will work out all right. Sometimes it might but you cannot depend on something working itself out if you want to live a happy life.

By getting this book and then actually opening it and reading it, you are already considerably ahead from a lot of other people. That is because you have at least shown a desire to make your relationship better. You also have shown a desire to resolve the problems or issues you currently have. Or, if you are really one of the exceptional couples, you want to learn how to avoid common problems before they occur and have a better relationship both now and in the future.

Whatever group you find yourself in, you are well on your way now to creating stronger relationships and a deeper closeness with your partner. This is something that you should work on together but it is also something you can do on your own as well.

Before we get started, I wanted to explain a few things about how this book is written.

You may notice as you go through this book that certain information is repeated throughout the pages. This is not a mistake nor is it a way to increase the number of pages in the book! Instead, important information is usually relevant to several difference topics or concepts so we repeat it as often as you need to fully understand what you are reading. This helps insure that you understand that chapter even if you start with that chapter or read the book out of order.

Why Communication is So Important

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Though the answer might seem obvious, we need to communicate with others in order to convey our thoughts and emotions to other people. In addition we communicate our needs, desires and all other parts of life with others through communication as well. We cannot hope to get anywhere in life without communication.

When it comes to relationships, communication takes on another entirely new meaning and level of importance. When two people enter a relationship, we have two different people and personalities trying to adjust to each other in a more intimate and personal way than we have with anyone else in our lives. There are bound to be clashes and incompatibilities and disagreements over many different things in our lives.

Communication helps us resolve those issues but most importantly makes the other person aware of the fact that a problem or issue is there in the first place. Otherwise we go through the same issues and problems over and over and over again until someone gets the message. The problem with that is that sometimes the stress on the relationship ends the relationship before the issues are identified.

When two people in a relationship communicate with each other, they learn more about them and what makes them happy or sad and what they like or dislike. Through good communication we share our most intimate and innermost feelings and thoughts and this allows our partners to become more attuned to who we are and what we are all about.

Communication also allows us to identify negative things early in the process when resolving them is much easier on both people. Discovering negative situations early means we can address them before either of you get really angry or upset and have a chance to blow things all out of proportion. This usually happens when a problem is left unresolved for long periods of time. The longer we have to think about something, the better chance we have of making it out to be more than it really was in the first place.

Communication also helps us get more of what we want out of the relationship. It helps us express our needs and desires and it helps both people learn what the other wants or needs from them to make the relationship better and stronger. After all, the purpose of our relationships are to make our life better, happier and more rewarding. How can we possibly achieve that if our partners don’t know what makes us feel that way?