Communication In Marriage: Discover The Secrets To Harnessing The Power Of Effective Communication In Your Marriage And Become A Better Spouse

By Shirley Cole

How To Maintain A Healthy Loving Marriage By Adding One Simple Tool To Your Married Life…

Remember when you met your partner for the first time?

Think back of the butterflies you felt every time you saw each other.

When you committed to your marriage, you committed to a deep loving relationship for the rest of your life.

Yet, there are days where you can´t read your partner`s mind.

You try to communicate your needs but you keep talking against blank walls.

Communication in a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it, it dies.

In "Communication in Marriage", you´ll discover:

• How to communicate effectively by sending and receiving the right messages
• How to stay attracted to your partner even if you are stuck in the routines of daily life
• First aid when your marriage is about to die
• Why men are from Mars and women are from Venus and how to bring both together
• Another secret to succeed as a married couple
• How to communicate when things heat up 
• How to spice things up and never suffer from being bored in your marriage
• The most common toxins to avoid in your marriage

As a bonus, you´ll find a practical action plan for effective communication that you can instantly apply in your marriage.

Our problems often look much bigger than they actually are.

All you need is discovering the roots of your dissatisfaction and solve the problem through positive communication.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shirley Cole
• Release date: Aug 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393854180

Book preview

Introduction

Marriage is a lot of hard work and doesn’t always come easy or natural to some. Sharing everything in your life with another person takes a lot of dedication and compromise. Lack of and ineffective communication plays a key factor in many divorces. Many couples argue and fight, it can be extremely tiresome and frustrating. Perhaps you or your spouse continue to cry after an argument is seemingly already over. Or maybe something you argued about days ago comes back up because your spouse (or you) just couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let it go. Or perhaps you simply just do not know how to talk with each other without being emotional. Marriage is already difficult enough, learning how to effectively communicate with one another shouldn’t be.

The vast majority of resolving marital issues comes down to effective communication strategies. As simple as it sounds, being able to effectively communicate does not always come easy to many. It really doesn’t matter what kind of communication problems that you struggle with, you can learn how to work on them and become a better communicator. Communication is a skill that can be learned and honed just like any other. Armed with the right knowledge, you can learn to effectively communicate with your spouse or significant other.

Whether you feel as though you are not being heard, that you don’t ever seem to understand how your spouse is feeling or every time you try to talk with them about something it ends up turning into yelling and screaming, there is hope. In this book, I am going to show you a simple yet practical and proven methods for improving the communication not only with your spouse but in all relationships in your life. You will be able to quickly resolve and even prevent future arguments and come out of it being able to provide compassion and support to your loved ones while knowing the issue has been effectively resolved.

But first, who am I to give you advice on your marriage?

Hi, my name is Shirley Cole and I am a professional family therapist. Over the years I have worked with and coached hundreds of couples (and single people) on how to move out of relationship pain. I know this might seem like a strange profession, but I truly enjoy working with people and I love what I do. I am just so incredibly passionate about helping individuals and couples create healthy and meaningful relationships. Since 2004 I have been providing relationship counseling, as well as couples therapy, to people who have struggled in their love lives due to painful relationship patterns. Many of my clients, for years, had struggled to create respectful, loving, and life-affirming relationships before they began working with me.

Once you learn how to effectively communicate with your spouse, it can drastically change your relationship, for the better. Being able to have a conversation with your spouse without it ending in yelling or crying can feel like you are in a whole new relationship. You remember that feeling don’t you? When everything your partner did made you laugh and smile and you would get those butterflies in your stomach whenever you got to see them. It doesn’t matter if you have been married for a month or a few decades, learning how to communicate with your spouse helps you both feel heard and have the ability to resolve any issues the two of you might struggle with. We need to communicate in every area of your life, with our spouse, at our jobs, with our children, and with friends. Communicating with people is part of our everyday life, so why not hone that skill?

There are many reasons that couples split and get divorced. Communications problems and an inability to resolve conflicts are the two biggest causes of divorce.[1] We all have different ways of communicating and it should come as no surprise that men and women communicate differently. More often men find that nagging and complaining end their relationship, whereas women feel that their opinions are not validated. When someone feels as though they are not being heard or they are constantly being nagged at they will start to develop emotional walls that can be very difficult to break down. These emotional walls will only cause more issues and cause further communication barriers in your relationship.

As humans we are creatures of habit, the things that happened in previous relationships and as we were children all help us to create habits in our lives now. Some of these habits can be good, like always saying I love you, before going to bed, while some can be very bad, like resorting to name calling or physical aggression when you get angry. We all express our feelings in different ways. Some people avoid the issue, others use humor to try and cover up that they are hurting, while others will use anger and aggression. Learning how to communicate with your spouse is a major step in helping to break down your emotional walls.[2]

My coaching clients regularly praise me for changing their lives and helping them to develop deeper and more meaningful relationships with their significant other. In this book, I will reveal to you the necessary steps to effective communication in your relationship. This book will show you how anyone can enhance their relationship by learning how to communicate with less blame and more understanding of their partner.

In the event that you are having trouble communicating with your spouse or would just like to improve upon your communication skills in your relationships, this book is here to guide you! This book will help you to not only to express yourself to your spouse when you are feeling angry or overwhelmed, but it will also help you to effectively communicate everyday issues. You will learn how to adequately use positive language and how to understand each other’s body language. Considering body language accounts for 55% of what we are actually saying, learning to decipher this can help immensely. Becoming a better communicator will also help you to become a better listener. Learning how to communicate also helps to cultivate trust and develop a healthy and lifelong relationship with your spouse.[3]

If you are arguing with your spouse on the regular, you are tearing away at the fabric of your relationship and eroding your marital foundation. Communication in marriage can break down quickly and cause a rippling effect in all other areas of your relationship. From your intimate life to parenting, to finances, once one area starts to break down, so do the others. Just as with a house, you need a strong foundation in order to make everything else work. You shouldn’t have to go another day crying out of frustration and anger or yelling at one another simply because something was not communicated clearly. Both you and your spouse deserve the best possible relationship, and that starts with learning how to effectively communicate with one another and making sure each of you is heard loud and clear. Don’t become just another statistic and wind up getting divorced simply because you can’t express how you feel without turning into a crying fest or a knock down drag out fight.

Do you want to learn simple yet highly effective strategies to communicate with your spouse while building a strong, trusting relationship?

Couples are getting unnecessary divorce left and right all due to a lack of effective communication. They are fighting and breaking down their marital foundations all because they don’t know how to express their feelings to one another without arguing. As a professional family therapist, I have seen it all.

If you are having problems communicating in your relationship and want to learn how to effectively work through them without having to resort to getting a divorce or never talking to each other, then you need this book! Don’t put off learning better communication strategies till tomorrow, start today! It takes time to work on your communication and learn how to express your feelings to one another while still validating each other.

In this book, I will show you how you can implement these communication strategies in your relationship today! Here is just a small portion of the strategies that I have packed into this book:

- How to understand body language and how to use it to improve your love life

- The secret on how to use positive communication (and what the heck positive communication actually is!)

- The three most important tools in your communication toolbox

- How to get your point across and communicate through conflict and emotionally charged situations

- The keys to rebuilding trust when it has been lost

- How to repair your marriage when infidelity has occurred

- What destroys a marriage and how to bring it back from the brink

- How to keep love alive and how to handle when your spouse is driving you crazy

- And so much more!

Stop continuing to struggle in your marriage and take the reins to a better marriage. Even if you think your marriage is beyond repair you can take measures to fix it.

If you want to hone the communications skills that save your marriage and restore peace and harmony in your love life, then keep reading!

Chapter One: Communicate Styles and What Our Bodies are Saying

We all communicate based on many factors including, our gender, the way we were raised, our personality types, all play a difference in how we communicate with other people. In this chapter, I will cover the difference in how men and women communicate. The secrets to using positive communication to increase your effectiveness in communicating with your spouse.[4] How you can understand body language to help you better understand your partner, and finally, the real reason to love and respect one another.

Differences in How Men and Women Communicate

You