Money Coaching: "Completely Emotional"

By Pelin Narin Tekinsoy

This book is mostly about going beyond the ordinary.
There are usually mathematical calculations as well as tips on how to earn money, and what to invest in, in financial coaching books. This particular book, however, doesn't promise its reader any money investment tool tips, nor does it give you advice.
Instead, it presents itse

• Language: English
• Publisher: iBoo Press
• Release date: Aug 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9781641812764

Book preview

Money Coaching

Completely Emotional

Money Coaching

Completely Emotional

Pelin Narin Tekinsoy

Copyright 2019 © Pelin Tekinsoy iBooPress, London

Published by iBooPress

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ISBNs

978-1-64181-274-0 (h)

978-1-64181-275-7 (p)

978-1-64181-276-4 (e)

The Audio Book of this title is available for free at

http://iboo.com/en/iboo-classics

We care about the environment. This paper used in this publication is both acid free and totally chlorine-free (TCF). It meets the minumum requirements of ANSI / NISO z39-49-1992 (r 1997)

Dedication

I’m dedicating this book  to my first adult educators about money, my parents Hadiye  Tekinsoy, Mehmet Arslan Tekinsoy, and my beloved brother, with whom I shared the same womb.

About the Author

Pelin Narin Tekinsoy, who graduated from Geodesy and Photogrammetry Engineering (Map Engineering) Department from Yıldız Technical University, Faculty of Civil Engineering in 1997, has been carrying out awareness studies since 1998.

In 2008, she was introduced to the concept of individual coaching whilst experiencing it first hand. She completed the training of Comprehensive Coaching U-CCU Life Coaching, which was held in FA Coach Academy, the Turkish representative of The Coaching Institute USA, founded by Terri Levine, who is one of the leading coaches of the world.

After completing the training, she then attended the Advanced Coaching Skills Seminar, which was organized by Terri Levine, in Istanbul, on 31 May 2018.

In 2008, she served as a founding member in Coaching Association (KOÇDER).

Since February 2008 to present day, she’s been providing consultancy to her advisees (college students, private sector employees, athletes, and civil servants) professionally in order to help them how to manage their budgets, how to achieve their goals quickly, and how to get better within their position in their work places. Additionally, she appeared as guest on several TV channels such as A Haber, ATV, Show TV, Cine5, Haber Turk, and Al Jazeera to talk about the profession of coaching, as well as getting interviewed by the printed publications.

She appears as a regular guest on a live broadcast, Oslo Turkish Radio in Norway, each Sunday. Pelin Narin Tekinsoy is also a columnist on Turkey’s first and only subway newspaper, Ege Metro.

Training and Activities:

•Completed Terri Levine’s Life Comprehensive Coaching U-CCU Life Coaching Training at FA Coach Academy (2008).

• Served as founding member of the KOÇDER (Coaching Association) and, in addition, the Ministry of Labor and Social Security pioneered initiatives for the Vocational Qualifications Authority (2008).

• Attended Terri Levine’s Advanced Coaching Skills Seminar which was held in Istanbul (2008).

• Attended the RYLA (Rotary is Looking for the Leader of Tomorrow) Leadership in Youth seminar and became an instructor (2009).

• Supported to the collaborative project of KPT (Coaching Platform Turkey) and www.kariyer.net’s 500 Women From Home as a Career Coach (2010).

• Completed all About Humanity Coaching Systems, Success and Training Coaching (2010).

• Worked as an instructor in Educator’s Training program (2010).

• Completed the Association for Coaching (AC) Certified FA Coach Academy Career Coaching Training (2012).

• Participated in the International Caoching Federation (ICF) approved Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder Coaching program, held by İz Koçluk (2012).

• Completed the Association for Coaching (AC) approved Relationship Coaching Training, held by FA Coach Academy (2013).

• Completed International ENNEGRAM Association Program, the training of Oya Sütçü’s Ennegram (2013).

• Wrote Turkey’s first ever Money Coaching training, which was approved by International Coaching Federation’s (ICF), (2015-2016-2017-2018).

• Completed Mehtap Utuş’s Genetic Matri Program (2016).

• Completed NLP Practitioner Training Program (2016).

• Completed NLP Master Practitioner Training Program (2016).

• Participated in Bogdan Serbanescu’s Transactional Analysis Association (TAD) Leadership and Transactional Analysis  TA 101 and TA 102 training (2017).

• Been working on Dream Analysis since 2014.

• Served as Rotary Turkey, District 2420’s RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Awards) instructor and has been the sectional manager for three years (2008-2016).

• Completed her MBA degree from Altınbaş University’s Executive Coaching and Mentoring Program, School of Social Sciences. Scored another first in Turkey with her graduation project Implementation of Internal Marketing Coaching Approach (2017-2019).

• Gained the title of ICF/PCC Professional Coach (2017).

• Continued her profession as Certified Coach, T.C., ÇSGB-MYK (Work and Social Security Ministry -  Vocational Qualification Authority) (08.01.2018)

• Served as founding member of Expert Coaches Association (2018).

• As of 2018, she will continue the Psychotherapy Education, given by CİSED (www.cised.org.tr), for the next two years. In the meantime, she is working on her masters degree in Psychology at Arel University.

Members of Associations and Institutions:

• Chamber of Surveying and Cadastre Engineers (www.hkmo.org.tr)

• ICF Global (www.icfturkey.org)

• Association of Psychosomatic and Obstetrics (www.pjod.org)

• Transactional Analysis Association (TAD) (www.ta.org.tr)

• EMCC membership Global and Turkey (www.emccturkey.com)

• Founding member of UKD (Professional Qualification Institution Certificated, Expert Coaches Association) (www.uzmankoclardernegi.org)

• AC membership Global and Turkey (www.associationforcoaching.com/page/AboutRegnLeadTurkey)

Professional Coaching Services:

Life Coaching, Money Coaching, Sports Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive and Leadership Skills Development Techniques, Student and Success Coaching and Mentoring.

Publications:

• She took part as one of the 36 coaches of FA Coach Academy alumni on the first technical book on Koçluk Teknikleri, which was compiled by Turkey’s first coach Fatos Ayvaz (2014).

• As a training coach, she wrote a book with Psychiatrist R. Sabri Yurdakul, and Clinical Psychologist Goksu Telmac. The book titled Anne-Baba Bu Kitabı Oku! is the first interdisciplinary study in Turkey on hyperactivity (2011).

Contact the Author:

www.pelinnarin.com

www.facebook.com/pelinnarint

www.instagram.com/pelinnarint

www.linkedin.com/pelinnarint

Preface

For the last few years, where almost everyone can proclaim to be an expert on self-development, I think I have heard it all…I have been to countless seminars, researched the newest trends, read all the guru books, listened people’s wisdom who were exhausted from intense love affairs to the ones who sold their cars. Some I learnt immensely, some I laughed about.

I always thought that the purpose of our life is to be thankful for everyday and wake up in a harmony of mind, body and soul, searching for ourselves like an endless quest for the holy grail. In this short life, I believe love holds the power to make the world a better place.

I don’t believe in coincidences and hence Pelin’s book appeared at that moment in my life where I was questioning myself, clueless about taking a direction, indecisive where to go and what do. It wasn’t about the cover or design that attracted, in fact it’s essence that moved me. All these years, I was constantly searching for something to give me a meaning or a direction, and half way through this book I realised that it was right in front of me all this time. I found my moment of awakening and reached it and grabbed with my hands as if I had put it there before. When I finished the book, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, an excitement one feels when you get the best Christmas present, an excitement that you couldn’t stop moving.

Pelin (my coach in the book) hold my hand and warned, prepared, encouraged and gently pushed me about the fears and obstacles I would encounter during my new journey. Unbelievably, as I walked slowly but cautiously, I came face to face with my own demons in different shapes and forms.. all those fears!

I didn’t give up, and continue to walk. I want to thank Pelin for not only writing her book, but also being my life coach and preparing me for this journey. I also want to thank Sinan who helped me reach to Pelin. Finally, I thank to myself for choosing to be my own captain of my life, to be brave to explore new territories.

Hoping every reader to experience the same awakening moment I experienced when reading this book.

Fem Güçlütürk

Intro

In this book, I will not cover fundamentals of coaching. My main purpose is to share my and my companions’ experiences during this coaching journey and things we did, related to money. Naturally, the way I work will not differ from coaching techniques.

Like everyone else, I am also an individual who needs to spend money and, as a result, spends money. Meanwhile, I am a professional coach. Until today, I worked in many locations, times, and fees. There were always questions about money; I was searching for the answer. Some day, I will happily spend the money; another day I wouldn’t be enjoying it for the things and times I spent it.

Sometimes, I would really want to spend the money, but I couldn’t find a thing to spend it on, and occasionally, I would find the thing I wanted to spend money on, but I wouldn’t have enough money or my credit card limit would be full. Though, I have yet to experience Insufficient funds on my credit card during a transaction. Sometimes, I wanted to buy something and I couldn’t. Later, I could find it half price in the open market.

Sometimes, I would unwisely spend on something very expensive, just to regret it later, when I come home. Eventually, I saw all these things like a game and got joy out of it. I started to observe these money games like an outsider. I also observed other people around me and as a life coach, monitorred money and my relationship with it.

One of the main decisions that led me to study money was: sometimes, I didn’t use money wisely, and I wanted to have a good relationship with. In today’s world, there are models researched about money’s flow, development through time, and how people want to earn and spend. Humans either know of this or not. However, this observation of money would be a different experience. This was a new way, a new script for a play for people to understand themselves. A different gameplay that belongs to everyone’s own reality.  Because of my own work, I observed that everyone has different spending habits, based on their perceptions, habits, and thought processes.

Our conscious mind is full of information and knowledge to identify something. This is called a Code. It is exactly like the language we speak to understand each other using words and sentences. Not everyone knows of this because everyone is acting in their own comfort zone and thinking they are doing the right thing in whatever the situation is.

Some people, if it is not specifically talked about in the coaching sessions, act like the models they have learned in their 0-6 age range without realising. I call this model, during the advancing stages of my work, The circle of fate. At some point, the circle spins or the clock is set. When the time comes, it rings. Until you break this circle, the clock continues to ring at varied intervals or the clock sets itself to ring another time, game, or another situation. During the formation of this order setting the clock to ring another time or situation, multiple important factors take the stage such as the way the brain works,  IQ and EQ relationship, learn to be helpless and training/education received. These factors include time spent starting from the time passed in the family and continues, including the time and effort when we are alone and trying to educate ourselves. We continue living, believing that our way of life and behaviour models are right for us, until we keep hitting the same point in The circle of Fate and say Enough.

Everyone looks into the future with varying levels of Worry. This is because there is an element of unknown. When it comes to money, individuals  don’t like changing their comfort zone. Coaching service provides the individual to take the risk and creates a zone of change  in their own safe environment. This also applies to money coaching. In every session, different experiences are lived through and I take every step ,learn and progress with my clients.

My main purpose in writing this book is to share my experiences I gathered throughout my own research and relative applications. Simultaneously, when you read this book,  it may get you to realise a moment or a memory to say, Yes, I had a very similar experience and realise that you are never alone. Should you come to this moment of realisation, this book can be assumed to have achieved its purpose.

Pelin N. Tekinsoy

Thanks

o Zekiye Kaya, who supported me with all her heart when I shared my desire to work on such a topic back in 2008, whilst I was undergoing coaching training,

To Dear Şebnem Özkan, who asked Why don’t you turn this into a book? when I shared a part of this idea a few years ago,

To the people who came to me especially for the money coaching; to those who came only to receive life coaching services and realise what they actually need is money; to all of my friends who contributed to the creation of this book, in the process of working we can not pass without mentioning money. In short, to the people who chose me as their guide, from all over in Turkey,

To all of my friends, whose names won’t fit in this page—to the friendships that feel like they’ve been there forever, even if they’re relatively new, and to the friendships which never failed to prove the reason why our friendships continued,

To my beloved friend Belgin Tunçel, for calling me and saying Come on, Pelin, you have to do something that will let everyone know what you’ve been doing!, which motivated me to give speed and direction to my work, 

To Kerem Divarcı, who extended hand without question or hesitation when I asked for help in publishing this book,

To Recep Şenkal, who never left my side when I gave up working on the book, and during the process of re-publication,

To Sinan Almaç, who has been promoting his belief and excitement to everyone since they day one,

To dear Tayfun Lübeten, who has been listening this story since 2009, for his never ending support, his endless tolerance, and unconditional love,

Tuna Yöney, who believes in the subject of the book and supported me to translate the book into English and stood with me all his heart while I am running after my dream,

Many thanks to everything that contributed to this book that is written in order to answer the needs created by the system we live in…

To the mauntain’s butterflies flying

Cloud, Eagle, wind passed by

Pain inside of you like a running small creek

Rooms filled with secret boxes

Who does Pandora think it is?

Ayşe Özkan Güneş

1st Step

KNOWING AND UNDERSTANDING MONEY

The Birth of Money

The birth of money and it's development is really an important point. Everyone gets money somehow. They spend it, distribute it, donate it, collect it. Through these methods, everyone allows money to pass one from hand to another. For example the money you have in your pocket may have passed from the hand of a celebrity, a beggar, your enemy, or an old lover.

But, how did this process begin and develop?

While money is only a symbol and a tool, through the ages it has been molded into many different shapes. Throughout humanity's first age there was nothing akin to money. Men were hunters and women were gatherers. Frankly, when referring to the fundamentals of today's men and women's shopping habits, if we take this as a hereditary thought model, it can be considered a part of our DNA.

When individuals lived as hunter-gatherers, in a communal life, in order to survive they were constantly sharing and stayed on the move. This means that there was no stable or settled life. As animals migrated constantly, so did the humans. Of course, this migration changed according to the seasonal shift in nature. While animals migrated according to the seasons, the humans followed suit. Because of this, until humans discovered farming, nomadic lifestyle continued.

With farming, humans slowly began to switch to settled life. Families, and even communities started trading planted goods. Alongside the trading of necessities they began praying to: the torrential rain, the earth mother, the rising sun, the billowing winds, and the crops they obtained. According to the belief at the time, they had gratitude rituals either for God or the Gods.

When we research social life before the concept of money we find similar information. Here I shortly summarize the general information about the history of money and our topic.

In the first ages we have hunter-gatherers (40,000 BCE the spirit of the ground is Mother Earth)

With the With the emergence of believing to Gods they begin settled life (9,000 BCE, livestock farming)

Trade begins within the oldest tribes (6,000 BCE, Neolithic farming culture, They worship Mother Earth, and the gods of grain and corn. The trade of grain, like grain itself, is considered holy.)

Mines start to pop up (4,500 BCE)

Sea shells and precious metals begin to be used as mediums for trade (In a Neolithic tribe, let's consider that harvest of grain is related to the sun. Gold is newly being discovered, if everything is within a cosmic dance; gold represents the sun and silver the moon.)

It is believed that gold and silver coins. Until coins are discovered this type of trade is considered holy. (2,900 BCE)

With the change towards abstract thinking within Egypt and Mesopotamia the spiritual connection with the creator becomes weaker. The spiritual and the physical world begin to separate (3,000 – 2,500 BCE)

Within Lydia -Modern day Turkey- money is used for the first time for the trade of goods. (700 BCE)

First metallic money forged in Western Anatolia (600 BCE)

Money is believed to be the bridge between two worlds until the Romans arrive (500 BCE)

Silver and gold jewels, necklaces, money and other forms of metallic goods are tossed into holy snake waters as it is believed to be a direct line of connection to the gods. (This is how modern day wishing wells were developed. This tradition can be seen between 500 BCE and 400 AD in Celtic Cultures. Celts; are people from European tribes who settled in the British Isles, Spain, and Gaul. They are as good warriors and hunters as they are farmers. They pray to the Gods of the Prairie who are believed to be the protectors of their trade. The Celts lived under the gaze of druids who were religious figures who acted as protectors of the traditions, oracles, and of judges.)

When the borders of settled life began to expand, they begin to pay soldiers money instead of grain. At the time, the Chinese use leather money (118 BCE). At the start of the 3rd Century BCE copper, silver, tin and gold coins become the medium of trade, medium of spending, unit of accounting and the measurement of value. These minerals were used alongside grain as the measurement of trade.

After the fall of Rome, Europe returns to its rural lifestyle (4th Century AD) During the Dark Ages, money is something even the rich struggles to obtain. For the villagers, it's impossible to reach any. Due to this, trade falls back within its economic centre. The connection with the Earth Expands. Towards the end of the Middle Ages, international trade begins

In the year 806 AD paper money is used for the first time in China. The interest and coin increased and cheques are invented. Money was able to hold its holy origin until the Renaissance Era.

Between 7th Century and 12th Century within Islamic countries, due to the increasing trade and the stubbornness of the Dinar, a powerful and money rich economy is formed. For the first time the concepts