Funny Jokes For Kids: Fart Book For Kids + Dog Humor Fiction - 2 In 1 Box Set Compilation

By Timmie Guzzmann

Funny Jokes For Kids: Fart Book For Kids + Dog Humor Fiction - Fart Book Series + Really Big Jerks Series 2 In 1 Box Set Compilation includes: Book 1: FART BOOK: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Pooper! Banger! Book 2: Dog Humor: Dogs Are Just Really Big Jerks! (Just Really Big Jerks Series) Here is what you'll find inside: The list of bottom belching & f

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inge Baum
• Release date: Mar 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781631876943

Timmie Guzzmann

Timmie has become a popular kid's fiction writer overnight and here he is sitting exploring yet another facete of the weird animal life. Like he did in the past, Timmie trusts the instincts of his dog the most because he knows that following the lead of his freaky & inspirational dog has never really disappointed him. In his various book series Timmie is exploring the world of Ninjas, Jerk Animals & The Diary of the Bayou Redneck Twins Don & Jon.

Book preview

Book 1: FART BOOK:  Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper! Banger!

Free Surprise Bonus

That's right for a very limited period of time, you will get a copy of Even More Funny Jokes...and...other Perky Jokes For Kids...

...and for a limited time you can download a FREE version of Even More Funny Jokes For Kids!

You and your kids will laugh out loud at funny and jerky Jokes that you probably have never heard before!

Together with the latest edition of the Fart Book: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper, Banger! and Dogs Are Just Really Big Jerks! these funny jokes will give you triple the fun.

Enjoy these pant ripping funny sound effects and jokes that go from the more extreme sounds like farting dogs and dog fart toilet sounds to the less extreme jokes for kids!

Make sure to get your copy today by clicking here

The Wake Upper Pooper

Some people call me fart puppy and run away when I come along. My family members still support my natural smelly talent and call me lovely names like the butt whistler.

I guess that I am a natural talent. It probably has something to do with my genes. I am born like this, and I remember that my first significant explosion happened right after I saw the light of day.

I am just happy that my family has accepted the way that I am expressing myself, and this is all I care about.

I am not saying that I am the best and most genius fart blower out there, and I know for a fact that I am far from the master league. There are other puppys out there that are the true maestros in farting.

These puppies are what I call the one puppy orchestra, and you can pretty much compare their sound and smell to an unbearably loud and gasifying explosion.

I guess these kinds of puppys are seriously starting to scare off not only the people around them in the society but also their own family members.

I am more of the less extreme puppy farter, but I still enjoy my out of this world natural talent for the more classic and traditional types of smelly and vapor type cloud shots.

Yes, if I do not approve of weird stuff going on around me, I will shoot my gas at everything around me.

In the morning, I like to get started with the most straightforward and easy to follow classic gas shot that goes straight into Mom's nose as she lifts up my cover and tries to get me out of my sleeping basket.

In my book, this is the easiest move and even the more clumsy puppys can do the wake upper pooper.

Heck, no matter if you are a super natural talent like me or just a beginner there is not much to it. Just copy this straight upward fart also called the wake upper pooper and place it straight into your Mom's face.

I have branded this one with the name the wake upper pooper because it is not the usual dry fart cloud.

No, the real wake upper pooper is one that has lots of potential, and you can produce this hot steamy bean stinking pooper cloud by eating some beans before going to sleep.

I mean it! Beans are the success ingredient for the wake upper pooper, and they always do the trick to get an extra steamy and poopy result.

All you have to do in order to make this poopy upward shot perfectly is the following:

Step 1:

For an extreme and steamy effect: eat some beans before bedtime.

Step 2:

Next, get on your front feet and try to inhale as much air as you can.

Step 3:

Stick out your gassy bottom in the direction of your victim.

Step 4:

Keep your balance on the front and stretch your bottom upwards and towards the goal.

Step 5:

Concentrate and shoot out the hot steamy and poopy air in an upward direction so that it hits your victim straight in the face.

Step 6:

Try to respect an almost 90 degree angle because this allows for a nice and precise shot.

You can of course get more sneaky as you go, and you can get this down to a science. The thing is to get the ball rolling and getting better at this every morning.

You certainly can use the wake upper pooper shot in other situations during your day and it is of course more fun to try this on family members who do not know this trick yet.

If you do it as instructed above, they won't know what hit 'em!

Heck, to make this extremely sneaky wait until you get dressed from your Mom and let her take you to the supermarket or the grocery store.

Choose your victim wisely and once you found the perfect position blast the upward shot directly at them.

In this case, it is not truly the traditional wake upper pooper, but you can come up with some other cool names like the supermarket hitter or the shopping cracker. Knock yourself out with this one!

The people at the supermarket sure won't know what hit 'em, and I assure you that I have never ripped my pants (even the tightest ones that I hate because they do not give me enough squeezing room!) when doing the supermarket hitter.

If you do as I am explaining, you will not tear your pants with this one. It is a good starter for the day and this one is for sure going to make you some friends.

Well, once you get into the habit of spotting some other puppys that love doing the straight upward shot in the supermarket, at the bakery, or at the butcher make sure to say hello because these are going to be your friends for life.

The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot

While Mom is still freshening up from the previous fart accident, I have already taken my position under the lovely prepared breakfast table.

The other family members are already enjoying their yummy breakfast, and I am already sitting under the breakfast table.

I guess the beans from dinner are still doing a good job on me, and I suddently can feel some gassy energy building up in my tummy.

To make this even more fun wait until all the family members are present and the deliciously smelling eggs n'bacon are put on the table.

By the way, the breakfast table shot is a variation of the wake upper pooper so there you have a real example of how you can add variety to the first one.

Take a quick and deep breath of air and blow a huge gassy cloud of your own matter up against the breakfast table from down under the table.

It is not hard to do. The only thing you really have to concentrate hard on is the clenching of your teeth while your gassy bottom is releasing the sweetest rotten smelling clouds. 

You will hear a very familiar sound once the stinky rotten cloud are touching their nostrils. When you hear your loved ones scream in disgust, you will know that the straight up breakfast table shot has worked like magic!

The key to the breakfast table shot is to eat as many Mexican beans as possible so that you can produce an extra sweet and steamy series of fart clouds.

Keep it as natural as you can because your family is going to love the extra sweat smell that comes from the beans. It kind of adds an extra delicious fragrance to their breakfast eggs.

The High Street Smasher

Let me tell you about a recent trip to London that I will never forget about.

It all started when Dad had to go to London for a business trip. The firm invited Dad to stay at one of the chic London city hotels to conduct business during the weekend.

Dad likes family trips, so he bought tickets for the whole family. This is how this whole business-shopping trip got started.

I guess this is how the modern world works. International business men like Dad are flying around the world to places like New York, London, Tokyo, and Paris, turning their business priority into a trip of pleasure. In Mom's case a shopping trip on High Street with Dad's credit card in hand!

I am totally ecstatic about the trip because I have always wanted to check out the three icons of London: the Big Ben clock tower, the red telephone boxes,