Gratitude Prompts: Everyday prompts for practicing kindness (to yourself)

By Karen Purves

Gratitude Prompts brings a unique approach to developing a new practice or deepening an existing one. This book takes away the question of ‘what unique things can I be grateful for today?’ thus making the exploration of the rich world of gratitude by transforming the ordinary into the extraordinary.

The book is

• Language: English
• Publisher: Relishing Moments
• Release date: Mar 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9780648514800

Karen Purves

Karen Purves MA is a coach, facilitator and mentor to women who want to be in charge of their life. Karen first met gratitude as a destitute, unhappy, single Mum. For the past 20 years, gratitude and appreciation have been constant companions, even in the toughest times. This book is the result of her study of positive psychology and practicing gratitude.

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LEGAL BLURB

Gratitude Prompts

First published in 2019

© Karen Purves 2019

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purpose of study, research, criticism or review,) no part of the book may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system or by any means without prior written permission,

All enquiries should be made to the author at [e-mail]

Title: Gratitude Prompts

Creator: Karen Purves (author)

ISBN: 978-0-6485148-0-0 EPUB version

978-0-6485148-1-7 MOBI version

PREFACE

I DISCOVERED GRATITUDE when finding myself in a crisis of epic proportions. Following the breakdown of my marriage and subsequent job loss, I felt I was at the bottom of a very deep hole and didn’t know how to get out.

Around the same time, I was introduced to Joseph Campbell’s work in the Hero’s Journey. while we are on our way to the abyss, it’s an opportunity to slay our dragons. This means letting go of thinking, beliefs and behaviours that got us to this place.

After transformation, we emerge feeling new and ready to attain our burning desire.

It was in the abyss that I met gratitude. The task was to keep a journal noting five things I was grateful for each day. Some days this was difficult as I was so steeped into what was wrong with my life, that I’d lost sight of all that was going well and the treasures I had. Slowly, the entries in the journal became more and I noticed aspects of my day gave my heart aflutter.

I didn’t know at the time that we are emotional beings so anything we assign emotion to takes us to the destination of that feeling. If I was feeling sorry for myself, then I would have more experiences to reinforce that. I noticed through trial and error that when I felt good for some time, positive things started happening.

If only I knew then what I know now, my journey would have been reduced. Yet, I love the life I’ve lived because I lived every day remembering my goal for this life - To be the best I can be.

Over the years, there have been times when I religiously kept a journal and others when it was more a mental activity. Life had more joy when I was keeping a journal and that is true even to this day.

Whenever I am in emotional turmoil, I seek refuge in gratitude. This year was no different.

I wrote this book to help others who are in the abyss of their hero’s journey or feel that life is somehow not fulfilling them.

Consider this book to be an extension of my hand in friendship, to chat with you, to show you through my experience you can have the best life you can, no matter what life throws your way. In fact, you relish every moment and see opportunities even when all around are crying or devastated. This is the power of gratitude, of living with appreciation for all you experience.

Enjoy!

Karen Purves

November 2018

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.

- JONAS SALK

Congratulations on taking steps to increase the gratitude in your life. I’ve been practicing gratitude for over 20 years, and writing this book has helped raise mine further. I am sure you are going to enjoy doing the exercises.

This book has been designed to choose a topic at random. It works just as well by opening it at a random page or choosing a number that resonates with you in the moment.

There are topics across the whole spectrum of life. If you open the book and are surprised by the topic, trust your intuition that it is the best one for you today.

If you open the page and there is no heading, turn back a couple of pages to the start of that section for this is the one for you.

I recommend you keep a journal to write your reflections, observations and activities completed because you can easily see how your practice unfolds and how the items you hold in appreciation alter over time. With my own practice, I noticed after a while, it was easy to see so many things to feel gratitude for. It was then enough to record only the most important for that day.

You probably already know something about gratitude in terms of being thankful for all we have. Often, we gloss over items that make up that encompassing ALL. We live in a fear based culture so unless we get in touch with ALL that is going well and is perfect, we tend to get overrun by fear, be overwhelmed or worry. The media, TV shows and current affairs programs can paint the world as mean, violent and dangerous. To redress this fear, doing the activities within this book breaks down that encompassing ALL into delightful components so we can savour them, play with them, change our perspective of them and be grateful for them and the experience.

Our natural state is to live from love and abundance. Maintaining a practice of gratitude helps us to maintain ourselves in a state of love and appreciation. This is what makes this book so easy to use and boosts our natural inclinations.

The more grateful we are, the more we show up in the world as the abundant beings that we are, acting from generosity and kindness. One of the fabulous benefits of gratitude is that resources and possessions become so much more than money.

The scarcest commodity is time as it is finite. We know we are here on earth for a specific period. The date we are to leave is unknown, although we may get some hints as we near the end.

With reference to resources, time is the most important one. I remember as a mum to two small children and, apart from playing with cardboard boxes, they wanted me to spend time with them being part of their game, having a story read to them or snuggling up for cuddles. We all have time. How we use our time is the choice we make.

Practising gratitude gets us back in touch with what’s important rather than reacting to the hype on TV or drama from life’s playground.

Another aspect of gratitude and feeling abundant is kindness. We are full of love because we have invested in feeling grateful. Consequently, we see where others may need help or even before they realise they need it.

Kindness is akin to spreading dollops of love around. You are showing up and making your environment better and this has a ripple effect which starts with self, and then spreads kindness out.

The topics in this book are small primarily because it is much easier to feel gratitude for small things. When people list three huge topics such as friends, family and health, they tend to gloss over aspects that lighten them up. This is why I have broken down the topics into bite sized chunks, thereby increasing our awareness of each ones’ importance to us. We also need to keep in mind that gratitude is an emotion rather than an intellectual activity.

With some of the suggested actions, I give ideas for including children. From my own experience, children brought up with a gratitude practice show up differently when reaching adulthood.

This book is really about giving you the opportunity to boost the way you show up in the world.

Gratitude is an expansion of your spiritual life. It doesn’t matter where you are now, life will become more joyous with this practice.

Whichever topic you choose, stay with it. Gratitude is a muscle and gets stronger the more it is flexed.

If you want to know more about the concept of gratitude and the obstacles to feeling it, please send an email to [e-mail] and the ebook will be sent within 24 hours.

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ACCEPTANCE

Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.

- ARTHUR RUBENSTEIN

Acceptance is seeing today as it is and not fighting against it or trying to change it.

Acceptance is generally, not one of the core values within western societies. From early on, we are given feedback that we are not perfect the way we are. This feeds judgement and a notion that everything can be critiqued with pointers for us to work better.

If we took a step into being present and receiving the other person as just being the best they can be in that moment, we accept the person for who they are.

Acceptance is seeing the love in that person and who they are in that moment.

There is no judgement about right or wrong; good or bad - It just is. This makes life simpler because just is requires nothing more or less in our life.

If you decide it is less, you can tell the other person without being emotionally involved that you don’t like this behaviour, and how you feel. The other person can decide to either adapt or not be in your presence so much.

Acceptance of others and self is important to the quality of your life. Somehow it has become a forgotten item that is just waiting for you to open it.

We have touched on acceptance of others. This becomes easier when we accept ourselves. Self-acceptance is very nurturing. It involves loving ourselves unconditionally. This is in every aspect of ourselves - our strengths, weaknesses and things we are not aware of. It includes loving how we look and what we do to live each day.

Have you or heard others say, "when I ….., then I will ……. Try filling in the blanks. For example, When I lose weight, then I will start dating.

Other examples are:

When I get my license, then I will have more of a social life.

When I get a promotion, then I will start saving for a holiday.

These statements keep us in a holding pattern of not feeling worthy to receive the reward. We are telling the world that the reward is not sexy enough for us to do it anyway. We are penalising ourselves for the current position and point of view.

This can be altered by coming from the perspective of acceptance.

I accept I am overweight and I am dating.

I accept I am to get my license and I am going out socialising.

I accept I am in my current job and I am saving some money from my income for a holiday.

These statements are inclusive of where we are now and what we want. By being inclusive, this encourages us to take action on the second half of the statement.

By accepting our current position, we are no longer putting energy into keeping us in that position. How many times has our inner critic, the inner voice that chatters on, started on its mantra - ‘You still haven’t done that.’ ‘You are lazy.’ ‘ You are no good’ - or language similar. It only serves to hold on to the current position and be unhappy. This is not going to propel us to change.

Just as an aside, the inner critic comes from words uttered by people of influence throughout our lives eg parents, teachers, bosses and partners amongst others. This isn’t picked up on when only as a child. A life partner can add also praise and criticism. How we deal with that criticism can be added to the inner critic.

One way of building self acceptance is to include in the practice of gratitude all the attributes you accept about yourself. Making statements such as:

I love and accept myself the size I am now. I am grateful for being able to move, to be agile and to exercise.

This can be done for behaviours as well:

I am grateful for being a good listener.

I am grateful for being a quick thinker

I am grateful for my singing voice.

I am grateful for helping people.

I am grateful for the progress made on [an item work in progress]

I am grateful for being kind to [person’s name] yesterday

Acceptance of ourselves doesn’t mean we want to remain as we are. It’s about making all growth come from a place of love and worthiness rather than from a place of being broken or wrong.

Acceptance acknowledges the I AM that I AM. I am part of the universe where abundance and love is all around. Sometimes, the inner critic comes in and tries to undo our best intentions.

Here are two ways to redeploy the inner critic:

First, accept that the inner critic’s role is to keep you safe. It may not feel like it, but the inner critic is coming from a place of care and support. The messages