The Stories Behind My Scars

By Thulisile P Mbatha

Thousands of people all over the world live with depression and are afraid of asking help, so many people smile and laugh to cover up all the pain buried deep inside them. Poetry was a way for me to express my emotions, each poem has its own story to tell, from happiness, family, friends, depression, love to death. I want to spread awareness that depression is real and that people who cut themselves and commit suicide do that for a good reason, they don’t just to do it because they want to but because of the emotional pain they feel inside of them. Poetry is an easy way for one to express they emotions. It brings inner peace to one’s soul. In poetry I found a person to talk too and communicate with about my emotions and I know they are thousands of people who are going through the same thing. No matter how hard life can get always remember one thing, “You are worth it and never change who you are for someone else”.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Mar 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665586115

Book preview

© 2021 Thulisile P Mbatha. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/17/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8612-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8611-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

10 Years

64 Cuts

A Mess

All I wanted

Alone

Amusing

Appreciation

Awesome Five

Back

Be yourself

Beautiful

Beloved

Biggest Regret

Broken

Broken down

Daily Questions?

Darkness

Death 1

Death 2

Death 3

Deep Down

Deeper

Depression

Describe Me

Different

Disappear

Do Not

Do you!

Do You

Do you?

Don’t be deceived

Emotions

Enough

Ever

Everyday

Faded

Failure

Fake love

Father’s Love

Fear

Feelings

Fine

Fire in my soul

Friends are Fake

Foundation and Walls

Gentle

Good and Bad Times

Good Days

Happily

Happiness 1

Happiness 2

Hate

Heart and Mind

Her Trust

Hurt Me

Hurt you

How I feel

How Much

I!

I am Sorry

I can’t

I don’t

I love you

I miss you

Inner Beauty

It’s about you only

It hurt’s

It Hurt’s

Judging

Learning

Left for

Let Him Go

Life

Life Test

Lonely

Love

Loved

Love Dies

Love Hurt’s

Me to her

Meant!

Melted

Mistake in Life

Mommy

Months of the Year

Move-On

My

My Anger

My beloved ones

My best

My best friend

My Coldness

My Cut

My Death

My first kiss

My heart

My Journey

My life

My love for you

My Memories

My Pain 1

My Pain 2

My Scars

My shame

My tears

My thoughts

My true love

My World

Myself

Nightmare

Nobody

Not Friends

Old Me

Pain

Painful Facts

Painless

Pearl’s Fear!!!

Peace

Perfect

Played

Poetry

Promised

Questions?

Real Meaning

Regret!

Remind Me

Rewind and resume

Road Trip

Sadness

Scars

Season of friends

Set Free

Some

Somethings

Sometimes

Soul

Suicide

Speaking Up

Take Me

Thank You

The Day

Too Many Questions! (TMQ)

Truly

Truth be Told

True Friend

Unconditional love

Unknown

Useless

War of soul

We

When I see you

Why

Why

Why I cut

Why I love you

Words Hurt

Why love!

Worst Nightmare

Years

You

You are beautiful

You killed her

Your

Your Heart

Your words

About the Author

My name is Thulisile Pearl Mbatha I am 17 years old. I was born on the 14 May 2003 in Mpumalanga. I currently live with my grandmother in Gauteng. I lost both my parents when I was very young. I have two older brothers. I suffer from Clinical depression; which I have had for 6 years, for the past 6 years I have been cutting myself. I have had a really rough childhood I was abused and bullied. So many times, I tired getting help but I always got judged because many people believed that people like me either have satanism or want attention. I began writing poems in 2016 which was a way for me to express my emotions. I don’t always allow my depression to get the best of me. I love and care for everyone.

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10 Years

It’s been ten years

          but

    it feels like 10 days!

It’s been ten years

        since I

    last saw your smile,

heard your laughter!

It’s been ten years

            but I

    still can’t get over that you are

                          gone forever!

Never to see you again, to

                create new memories

    together!

It’s been ten years but I

                  still can’t put you

    in the past but rather in the present!

It’s been ten years and

           the memories we created

    and shared still haunt!

It’s been ten years and

          I still miss you!

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64 Cuts

She broke her record,

            she out numbered

her competition!

Her 64 cuts made her

            smile wilder than anyone

                            has ever made

her smile!

The dripping of blood from

                each cut,

    made her body feel lighter!

The numbness of the pain

              gave her so much

                            satisfaction!

Her fresh wounds made

                           her, realize

      this is her life!

Her 64 cuts were the

                        best thing

       that had happened to her!

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A Mess

My life is a mess!

Why do I have to dwell?

in the future, when

I can dwell in the past!

My past is my future,

it keeps me alive!

My future has become a

misty path!

I have survived dwelling in,

my sorrow and tears!

I have survived all my cuts

and heartbreaks!

My life does not move on,

from the past, but,

stays in the past instead!

My life may be a mess but,

at least I am still,

living!

I may have wanted to

commit suicide so many times!