The Conversations

By Dr. Shivani Thakur

In todays’ time it is extremely important to be having more heartfelt conversations than dried up
discussions. Thus, understating the need, have tried to sum up few conversations with my inherited wisdom, thus to
ensure that What hurts, Might be left unsaid But What nurtures Must not be left unsaid ! And what nurtures Is the bhava abhivayakhti… (expressing the truth through feelings) And not the Empty word When I am devoid of feelings Better to reflect the same Than to show off An empty smile Which actually is a disgrace To any human ! Needed or not… Is another cycle of Human discussion !

Thus I am (Dr. Shivani Thakur)
With a book of verses

The name is

The Conversations

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blue Rose Publishers
• Release date: Dec 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9789357041904

Book preview

I surrender

Throughout life

I have created castles

And now when it is my burial,

I expect her to be here with me

In my grave

No wonder I was born human

Free and full of wisdom

Why and where did

I chain myself

I am on a journey of realization..

Did I ever try pondering !

Greed, lust and what not

I was too engrossed in what was not real..

Real, for, if it was,

I would too have rested in peace..

And look,

I am still in process,

Process of searching myself once again..

Even in this grand moment of life ..

When I have no more breath,

would not it be easy,

If I just surrender !

But how !

I have never done that

Throughout my life..

I was a boss,

Where I only ruled

Pity on me !

Death overruled me

Just in a second..

Look, here, I am in a coffin, waiting for and bury me..

How dependent have I become !!

I have lived an independent life though..

My children, my wife,

my parents were dependent on me..

But I,

I was an independent soul!

Grand in my own self !

But why did it happen,

That in this moment,

I need hands and shoulders

to carry me to my last destination..

I am questioning only myself,

While alive, I never was liable for answering,

Why should I !

I was a complete human being

Earning well !living well ! I had scarcity of nothing !

Why should I answer !

There were people around me,

Who use to question,

Because they loved me..

They wanted to see me flourishing from within,

Thus,

They used to ask

What are you lost in !

Is it worthwhile !!

Hope you are not forgetting, you are investing your life !

My wife crumbled many times !

Why don’t you stop !

Let’s spend some time together

My dearest of all friends !

And my children !!

Oh ! I had a son

Beautiful such as,

will defy the presence of you oh! Moon

Father, I hope, you are not going greedy,

He had asked me only once..

I could not answer him,

For a moment, I stopped, but convinced him politely..

Oh ! no my dear son, its only that

I have to establish my self !

Today, my consciousness is asking me that one question !

Have you established yourself !!

Oh pity ! I don’t have breath, left to answer this one last question !

I justify !

I did what was needed.

I was a man, in the society,

I had a family dependent on me

I did what was needed..

Had I not done that, I

Would have ruined!

So well !! I ask myself,

What am I now?

Am I a rich soul !!

Then again I go back !

What should have I done !

which I missed doing in this life

I then think,

I should have loved little more..

When someone was seeking my help

I should have extended myself to a little far..

and more gently..

Hey you look beautiful..

I could have said that more often to my wife and with love in my eyes..

Hey champion ! Let’s play today…

I would play and play with you today !

Would have fulfilled my child with that excitement..

which is beyond expression !!

Hey ! let’s sit down and relax for a while

Rush and hurry will remain so throughout..

May be for once.. I would have said to mayself !

May be I would have breathed more often than ignoring my health..

May be I would have earned few coins less..

May be then I

the grandeur of life..

would have been great !

May be less for others..

but great for my inner self !

Who would have definitely appreciated my grand inning

But now in this moment, it is sleeping with me silently !

What would it speak !!

I never bothered to heal it with my deeds !

I was after a life ! where I should look great !

Appreciations should come from others!

Others should love and respect me !

In heart I could be dying !

But in my fail, I shall always have that esteem smile !

May be I am not open from my heart !

But I should be extending my hand for a handshake..

Because that was a ritual !

How can it be ignored !

I repeated myself thousand times..

But never bothered to accept other’s opinion!

I was a tormented being !

but never extended a help cry !

how could I !

I was a man in the family !!

My cry would have shattered my wife and family !

It would drive me down from my self esteem !

Ultimately, I was a man !!

How could I seek help !

it would have hurt my self esteem..

That way,

I became dependent on doctors and psychologists..

But I never went to a friend or family !

May be my fear was even deeper!

May be cause I was a businessman,

So deep inside

Feared that untimely return !

What if tomorrow, they seek my help, and I am busy earning money for myself !

So no