I Choose to Give Thanks!: Grieving with an Attitude of Gratitude

By Dr. Chinyere Almona

Grieving, especially the loss of a loved one, is a complicated and personal matter. Though we all feel grief, no two people experience it in the same way, even for the same person. This makes any consideration of the topic, both delicate and challenging.

I Choose to Give Thanks approaches grief by expanding on 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (KJV). Author Dr. Chinyere Almona shares reflections on developing and leveraging an attitude of gratitude during a period of grief. In the roller coaster of emotions that emerged in the wake of the sudden loss of her mother, she discovered that thanksgiving could serve as a useful tool in the face of loss. Chinyere chronicles the route she took in her ongoing journey from the depths of sorrow to the heights of thanksgiving—a transition that, although difficult, can yield significant benefits.

This personal narrative and guide for those dealing with grief hold that thanksgiving can offer great comfort and consolation in the midst of deep sorrow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781973695950

Dr. Chinyere Almona

Dr. Chinyere Almona is a versatile inspirational speaker and dynamic Bible teacher; her overarching purpose is to inspire people to love and live by the Word of God. She is also the author of five other books. She has been involved in active ministerial work for over twenty-eight years. She is passionate about leadership and people development. In her spare time, she provides guidance and counseling for women, youths, and teenagers. She lives in Lagos, Nigeria where she serves alongside her husband, Pastor Obi Almona, at RCCG New Dawn Parish, Surulere. They are blessed with three very amazing children.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-9594-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9593-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9595-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020912867

WestBow Press rev. date: 8/6/2020

Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright

© 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked (KJV) taken from the King James Version.

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright ©

2015 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC),

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman

Foundation Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE,

copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by

permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale

House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New

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registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible,

New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale

House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers,

Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Dedication

Written with the help of the Holy Spirit and

dedicated to the memory of my mum,

Associate Professor Joyce Nwanne Nwankwo (1943–2020).

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1     The Grief of Bereavement

Chapter 2     The Power of Thanksgiving

Chapter 3     Thankful for the Inspiration

Chapter 4     Thankful for Shared Experiences

Chapter 5     Thankful for Relationships

Chapter 6     Thankful for Achievements

Chapter 7     Thankful for God’s Leading

Chapter 8     Thankful for God’s Abiding Presence

Chapter 9     Thankful for God’s Sovereignty

Chapter 10   Thankful for Hope

Chapter 11   Thankful for Closure

Postface

Endnotes

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to God Almighty, to Jesus Christ, and to the Holy Spirit for helping me in my ongoing grief journey and enabling me to pull my experience together into a book.

Specifically, I would like to thank the following:

• my husband, Pastor Obi Almona, for his love, care, support, guidance, and encouragement during the painful period

• my eldest daughter, Chidumebi, who tried to design a beautiful cover for this book; I am always amazed at her talent and artistic skills

• my younger daughter Ginikachukwu who assisted me with the compilation and arrangement of her cousins’ tributes, saving me much time

• Pastor and Mrs. Emmanuel Dania, for the inspiration to take a step toward thanksgiving and for allowing me to share their story

• my longtime friend Pastor Ada Adeleke-Kelani, my go-to-person throughout the journey whose explicit and (sometimes) hard-hitting comments were critical in shaping the content of the book

• my younger sister, Ngozi Chinatu Nwankwo-Ugwu, who read the manuscript and provided her perspectives and a dose of encouragement

• my younger brother, Engr. Abinye Nwankwo, who made valuable comments during the early stages as he reviewed the manuscript

• my friend Doyin, who cried a lot while reviewing the script but still completed the process of proofreading and initial editing

• friends and relatives who walked by my side and supported my family during the period of mourning, giving me comfort, strength, and the courage to keep going

Foreword

It is with great pleasure that I write the foreword to I Choose to Give Thanks. This book is a gift for people grieving a beloved lost one. It is also for bereavement counselors or those wishing to help family and friends through traumatic times. Chinyere has used the unexpected experience of her mother’s passing to glory to provide readers with an account of her grieving process. She outlines the process in detail. From shock and confusion, to realization and a decision to make thanksgiving a critical component in her healing process.

As outlined in the book, giving thanks can be tough when one feels confused, in extreme pain, or guilty. Thanksgiving at such times does not appear to make sense. Some will feel that God, the Alpha and Omega, could have stopped the traumatic event. They feel confused that He allowed it to happen. Bible quotes used in this book include Isaiah 55:8 (KJV) "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." There are many things we do not understand, but God does!

Using the author’s experience, I Choose to Give Thanks takes us through stages of grief to better understand the process of pain. Pain from the loss of a loved one is personal. Our response and process of recovery, as Christians, hinges on our knowledge of the Word, trust in God and a desire to hand our pain over to Him. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV) states; In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. A true understanding of this scripture, also mentioned in this book, becomes possible with a heart of gratitude. Thanksgiving is a revelation; it is a way of life that allows us to put the varied experiences on our life’s journey into proper perspective.

Even as Christians, it is difficult to comprehend the pain that Jesus Christ experienced, leading to and on the cross of Calvary. God revealed to me that it is tough to appreciate in full the pain felt by another when it is outside one’s personal experience. Therefore, if the most traumatic event you have experienced is failing an exam or losing a job, you may not be able to imagine the pain associated with losing a loved one. This is not to trivialize the pain of any loss, but to explain that some losses are incomprehensible to those who have not experienced it. Knowing this allows us, when we grieve, to be gracious to family and friends who love us so much but can only offer minor comfort. Our ultimate comforter is the Holy Spirit, and His role in our journey is of extreme importance. We must learn to depend on Him.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasize the power of choice, which is at the core of this remarkable piece of work. Chinyere, in her usual way, will take you through her journey in a manner that is open, frank, emotional, yet easy to understand. Through this book, I pray that you will find enlightenment about your purpose on earth and that through your experiences, you will become more of whom God has called you to be.

Tolu Peters (Mrs.)

Deputy Chief (International Monetary Fund) and Leadership Coach.

Washington, District of Columbia

Preface

On January 5, 2020, I held my mum’s hand for the very last time in the hospital room, with my husband by my side. At the time, I did not know it would be the last time. She finished her race well, and now I have to face life as a daughter without a mother.

The title of this book is derived from this tribute I wrote for my Mum, Associate Professor Joyce Nwanne Nwankwo, titled I Choose to Give Thanks!

Mummy, you arrived at my home in Lagos on Tuesday,