To Gloria

By Song Yang

The joy of her pregnancy was shattered by the discovery of her baby's developmental problem.

"Why don't you want an abortion? " doctor asked.
"Because it's a life! " she answered.

"My Child, rely on me; I will take care of you! " God called. She followed.

She wrote, "When I came to God asking for His wisdom to understand the whole situation, it was as if a light lit up inside me. God fills each life with beautiful meaning. God doesn't favor those who are strong or smart. He loves us just as we are, unconditionally! I made up my mind to love my baby unconditionally and to carry her with a grateful heart, because I was walking with a beautiful life. "

She did, and God was with her. It wasn't an easy journey. She shed tears and dealt with anguish and heartache. And yet she had peace, enjoyed sweet times with her husband and her unborn baby, and even experienced miracles. By the mercy of God, she and her husband had chance to hold their baby, Gloria. Their time with Gloria was filled with tender love, and they sent their baby off with songs and prayers.

Life after Gloria's death was even harder, but God healed her broken heart miraculously, in a way of love, faith, and hope.

This collection of tender, loving letters that Song Yang wrote to her late daughter, Gloria, turned out to be a love story of Gloria's short life and a praising song of God's incomprehensible love. May you find love, comfort, and hope in this book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490832388

Song Yang

Song Yang has experienced God’s abundant love in the darkest days of losing her infant daughter, Gloria. In memory of Gloria, with the passion of sharing God’s love, she transforms her experience into this heartwarming and inspirational book. Song Yang was born and raised in China. She came to the United States in 1991 and later graduated from Northeastern University with a Master of Engineering degree. Now she lives in Sharon, MA with her husband and son.

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Copyright © 2014 Song Yang.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Chinese English Bible,

Union – New International Version. Copyright 1990 C Hymnody and Bible House.

Used by permission of Hymnody and Bible House. All rights reserved.

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3237-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3242-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3238-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014905991

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/06/2014

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

"What is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?"

Psalms 8:4

I dedicate this book to my daughter, Gloria,

whose short life has taught me so much about love, hope and life!

Acknowledgments

Special thanks to those who showed love and support during our difficult times.

Some of you have been mentioned in this book.

But I want all of you to know that I deeply appreciate your prayers, visits, gifts and your chicken soups.

Preface

In my deepest sorrow over the death of my infant daughter, Gloria, shocked and numb, I had no sense of when the day started and when it ended. I had no feelings of hunger or fatigue. Yet clearly, I felt the urge to pick up a pen and write.

While I was writing letters to Gloria, all my emotions and feelings started coming back. Little by little, the confusion and numbness faded away. At the end, when I looked back through my tears, I plainly saw God’s love, which had been bestowed abundantly in Gloria’s life and in our times of despair.

Because of His love, Gloria’s life had been blessed in many ways. She had lived a life full of love—love from God and from all of us. Yes, her life was too short, yet it has affected our lives in a significant way. Since then, our faith has grown stronger, our hope has been brought to a new level, our love has grown deeper, and our lives have been fuller.

It was not time that mended the wound in my heart. It is God’s love that healed my broken heart miraculously, in a way of faith and hope.

These letters I wrote to Gloria turned out to be a love story about her short life and a praising song of God’s incomprehensible love, even in our darkest days …

Chapter 1

June 28, 2001

Dear Gloria,

It’s Mommy. I long to hold you, kiss you, and watch you grow, but there is no way I can do that now. It has been almost two months since your departure. Not a single day has passed without my thinking of you.

Today, sitting in our quiet house with tears in my eyes, I am writing this letter to you. Staring at the blank paper, I let the memories flood my mind. Traveling through the time we shared to the beginning point of your life, I once more taste the sweetness and the joyful nervousness of discovering your coming, as if it all happened yesterday.

It was September 20, 2000, ten days after our church retreat, when I found out I was pregnant. The tiny life was you!

Holding the pregnancy test and watching the second line darken, I felt my heart pounding harder than ever. Excited and nervous, I knew something wonderful was happening in my life: a baby was coming!

I announced the good news to your daddy immediately. Overwhelmed by joy, he could hardly believe it. We held hands and prayed from the deepest parts of our hearts: God, thank You! May You protect this baby and let it grow safely.

The year you came into our lives was the eleventh year of our marriage. For years, we had been watching our friends get married and have babies. And then we watched as the babies grew. It seemed as natural as the change of seasons. But things didn’t work out that easily for us; all we had were miscarriages.

Shortly after we had married in China, Daddy came to the United States to pursue his doctoral studies in mathematics in 1990. Six months later, I came to join him. Four years later, we both accepted the gospel and became Christians.

In the fall of 1994, I went to graduate school to study computer information systems. During the years I was back in school, I suffered two miscarriages. We were so young, poor, and busy that we didn’t even have time to pause and mourn. We simply wiped away our tears and went right back to our busy daily routines, hopping between campus jobs and classrooms, finishing school projects, and studying for finals. We pushed our baby dream away and buried it somewhere deep inside us.

Your daddy and I graduated from school and both landed jobs. Then we bought a house, and our long-forgotten baby dream quietly crept in.

About a year ago, Daddy and I decided to give it another try. We prayed for God to give us a child. Meanwhile, we went to doctors to find out why I had previously miscarried.

After undergoing several tests, I was told that I would need progesterone therapy during the early stage of pregnancy.