One Day, She Will Be...

By Helen Louis

Scarlet has had depression from the young age of 15, when she learnt about abuse. Following on from that she goes through the hardest heartbreak of a forbidden love, but a true love that can never truly end. My entity wants to save her poor little life but cannot. Scarlet must escape the evil of abuse, the heartbreak of love, the never-ending pain in her soul. But will she be able to? Will she escape him? Will she escape depression? One day, she will be… either dead from suicide, or living through her demons and be ok.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jun 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781984595003

Book preview

Chapter one

Everyone has good, everyone has bad, everyone has beauty, everyone has flaws; that’s just human. Nobody is perfect but the people that love you, care for you and accept who you are and do not try to change you, are the ones that matter and will be true to you forever.

E veryone has been through tough times but that is a part of life, some people go through traumatic experiences at a younger age, some at an older age, some are just lucky enough to not go through such traumatic times in their lives; though they too have bad times, they too have points in their life where they feel like giving up, everyone does; as like you, they are only h uman.

The girl, Scarlet, she is just human, she has flaws, she has weaknesses but she also has strengths. People say she is a pretty girl; but of course she does not see that. She is only a little under average height, curly, very curly long blonde hair; blue eyes that hold so many emotions; high cheek bones rosy red cheeks, a little nose, and soft reddish lips that when she smiles makes anyone around her smile, for some reason she will never understand! Very slim body, though she has a good shape. Her body she hides is slightly tanned, her skin her flesh she covers up, soft to the touch. In her mind she has an OK body, OK looks; but others think differently, though some are biased, they say she has the beauty of an angel, but why does she not see that?

She was born in the early 90’s, she was a cute small baby. As she reached her toddler days she was a happy little girl. In her early school years she struggled immensely; she was bullied in both primary school and high school! She cried, she wanted to go home but like most children who get bullied, she carried on however she could. Things started to change for her when she was coming to her exams, suddenly she started progressing and did better than anyone thought she would ever do. That was her school life; but at home, even through years of being bullied she just seemed like a normal quiet child. She smiled and laughed most of her days; she had such vigorous imagination, she used to play outside in the garden and inside in the house pretend she was an explorer, she was an athlete, she was a wrestler, gosh the list goes on, the things she used to do in her imagination!

When she was seven years old I begged to save her precious little life!

Little child, you are so young and do not have any idea what lies ahead, the pain and anger you will feel one day and from that day on. No sense of what traumatic horror one night will bring and the scar it will leave that will stay with you forever; that scar that will bleed inside yet you cannot see anything on the outside until you make the scar appear yourself! The scars that you will always be able to see and will always remind you of a night you wish to forget.

Little child you really do not know what emotions are yet to come, the pain wrenching emotions that will make you want to end your poor little life. Darling the broken promises you will make, the promises made to you that you will wish to never be broken, yet somehow will always be broken; the heartache you will feel, the breaking of your fragile little heart in your small chest that will bring such pain, pain you cannot even nurse; the tears that will fall with such anguish in your eyes with your little sorrowful cries out you will make as you try to breathe through the pain, that pain and loneliness you will feel each day when your first love will walk away. The emotions you will feel when you think you have dealt with that pain but just the sight of him will make your body tremble, make you feel so light headed and make you just want to curl up in a dark corner and cry your poor little heart out.

Innocent child you do not know of the strength you will have to build and maintain one day to be able to walk away from the nastiness of a human that will try to hold you back and isolate you, the support you will need to help you try to escape a horrible relationship that is yet to come.

My dear you really do not know what is to come, the bad days when you will wish to give up on everything you have and wish you could be with a loved one who left you broken hearted when you were so afraid to lose her, the anger you will feel that she has gone, the begging you will do when she goes which just will not make her wake up, WAKE UP, you will beg her and beg her but she will not.

Oh I cannot even tell you my little love because you are just a child and you do not know of me or what I am; my little darling I am sorry I am not there with you now, little sweet I am so sorry I will never be there with you to help you through the pain that is to come, I am sorry I will never be there, ever; even when you need a cuddle and someone to tell you it will be OK. Love, I am sorry for your poor little heart that will be broken and left unfixed. Little child I am sorry I am not there to warn you and guide you to avoid the terrible days that are to come.

I tell myself that one day, she will be…and I just sigh as I wait for that day, that you will be…

Right now you are just a child with nothing to worry about, the world seems so big and carefree. You do not know of the troubles that are yet to come, the history you will make, the heartbreak you will feel, the memories of this beautiful time you will hold onto, the bad memories of this horrible time you will try to forget.

It is when you are just a child, a naive little child, that innocent growing little person that you have no clue of the world, the horrible earth you live on.

Just a child, so young and free of any troubles, any heartbreak and free of any regrets. Just a child, everything is fun, everything is always OK. Just a child, with no idea of what is yet to come. She is just a child!! If there is a God please let me help her, let me guide her, please I beg you do not let her suffer this pain of her future that is getting close! I beg you! Somebody?!

The only thing I hold onto is the false hope I have that one day, she will be…

I guess for now, I will have to accept I cannot save this little girl from the things she is about to experience.

Chapter two

T his young girl is now only fifteen; in the years that have passed, she has learned what it feels like to lose a loved one to death; her Grandad became very ill and passed away when she was seven. Now at her friend’s house, she is about to learn how it feels t o be…

Oh no, please let me save her now! Please!!! No, no please she is just fifteen!

…It’s too late! she has just had her childhood taken away from her! A time where she was innocent and naive, has suddenly turned into trust issues and a dark journey down a path of desperation and despair. One evil person has just made her world turn upside down. She is just fifteen years old! Just a very young teenage girl; he chose her to be his victim, for an absolutely devastatingly sick crime! The sick man has just abused this fifteen-year-old girl! The bastard!

She is so scared, her happiness, turned to sadness, her smile, turned to tears, her blue eyes, turned dark, full of fear; her days now full of terror and dread, all because of what one person did to her. She has become so down, become depressed, having flashbacks every time she closes her eyes, so she is refusing to sleep, as all she can see is that face, that threatening face, pure evil face. A day later; she told her Mother, her loving mother, they cried together!

Gosh she begged her Mother not to call any authorities. But another day passed, she came home from school, and her Mother told her, she has called the police. Panic has set in; what will he do?! She has not told the whole truth of what happened, she can’t!

Knock, knock; an officer is at the door, her face flushes, her breath quickens, her heart races! She is so scared. She still refused to tell the whole truth, she is blocking it out, she cannot cope, she is completely blocking that horrible night out, even though she needs to give evidence.

***

Months down the line, she has eventually told the truth, about him actually putting his filthy old hands on her!! But it is too late. He remains living across the road from her house; she remains living in fear. Every time she walks out of that door, her heart races. The months that have passed by have been terrible! She has hit rock bottom, she recently wrote letters to an invisible force, begging to be taken away from the earth. I read them all, and if I was human, tears would be rolling down my cheeks at the devastating words she writes. She watches the clock, wishing her heart would stop beating, each second that passes. In the kitchen, the knives are there, ready, just one large knife will do the job! She thinks about it every time she steps foot in there! She is only fifteen years old, and wants to end her precious life. Only one thing, one person stops her; her mother, her mother’s love, her mother’s hurt, if she was the one to find her, lying on the floor, dead! Finding, she committed suicide, her precious daughter, gone! Gone forever!!

Months are passing by, she is having counselling, she has her mother, her mother’s love and support. She has found a friend in an older man, she has his support, he is helping her immensely; she really is struggling, but she is starting to deal with it, slowly; the suicidal thoughts have started to reduce. Sometimes she cries, and screams, she wants to disappear off the earth; she has turned to self-harm on a few occasions. She blames herself for being so naive, she should have seen it coming. But it was not her fault at all. If only I could tell her that.

***

A couple of years have passed, her true smile is back. She has become her normal laughing, smiling, active self again. The girl that is so happy, so bright, even on a rainy day. She is back to her lovable self again; yes, she has trust issues, but she knows, she is OK.

She was just a naive young girl, wishing upon a star, until that one night, she learnt a huge lesson, that it is closer to home than you could ever think! Bad things can happen, right there infront of you, things you just never expect to happen so close to you; but they do. Never just trust anyone, never think that these things will never happen to me. You could be talking to a serial killer, and never know it until it is too late! Never trust anyone, just from one ‘Hello’; do not even trust your friends!

There is one person she is very grateful and thankful for, and that is her amazing Mother; who helped her see the light, helped her see, life; and stayed in her head, when she came close to doing the worst thing she could ever do. Seeing her Mother’s face in her mind was enough, her mother’s beautiful brown eyes, suddenly turning to deep dark sorrow; she could not pass her pain onto her Mother. She thanks her Mum.

The girl, Scarlet, is very close to her Mum, as you can guess! They have a very good relationship, hardly ever had any disagreements; if they did, they would both say their sorry’s, and smile, and cuddle each other and say, it is OK, even if it was something so simple and small; but it is the fact when they had a dis-agreement, they would both be upset, not about the subject, but about each other! It is a very close relationship between them both; you hurt that girl, you hurt her Mother just as much; you hurt her Mother, you hurt the girl just as much! She was very close to most of her family. She is lucky to have her Mum and her family, especially after what she has just been through, and is about to go through…

There was also someone else who helped her through this terrible time, he was a man, who she learnt to trust…

I will take you back to when she was fifteen again, but a better time of fifteen.

Chapter three

T he girl, Scarlet, was introduced to the 50’s music when she was just young, thirteen years old to be exact; and fell in love with it; with the people, the atmosphere, the dancing, the dressing up, she loved it! She was in her ele ment.

From years of traveling around the Rock ‘n’ Roll scene, seeing bands, came her first ever love, the love of her life! The man who helped her through the terrible trauma she went through at such a young age. He was her friend at first, but soon, became much more to her, and she became much more to him.

She was only young, when she met this man; yes a man, not a teenager like herself, a man. She was fifteen; sixteen, in six months. He was quite a lot older than her. He had lived his life; like he once said, ‘he is a rose, fully opened, and she is a rose bud, just about to start opening’.

She saw him, stood there, she felt a strange feeling; she has to meet him, she has to know his name, she has to look into his eyes! She has never felt such a strong need before, such a strong feeling; she found it odd and did not know exactly what this feeling was! But all she knew was, she had to meet him.

She found him very attractive, 5’ 12", nicely slim, wearing the old 50’s Rockabilly clothes, black pants and a black blouse with a pattern of white squares on the left of the chest area, he wore a small chain around his neck, his chin and jaw were sharp, one ear pieced, high cheek bones, brown and beautiful eyes; short black hair at the sides, then the front of his hair gelled into a good sized quiff. He was just the most beautiful thing she had ever seen! He looked around thirty, maybe mid-thirties.

When she met him, the next day, she looked into his eyes, she felt what felt like an electric shock run through her body when he looked at her, with those beautiful deep brown eyes.

She had an overpowering need, to find out, what the hell was happening to her, and why it was only when he was around. She knew she liked him; but it was not just a crush or a fancy, it was different, this feeling was different. There is something about him, that has pulled her to him. She was on a mission from then, to find out what spell he cast upon her.

His smile, contagious, but then his eyes clocked her, and he smiled at her, and oh my, the flush of a beautiful burning sensation went through her body! What was this sudden weakness that came over her?

She was only stood a few inches away and did not even realize she had made her way towards him! He spoke to her with soft words, as they said hello and introduced themselves. The beautiful man told her his name was Danny; the words sounded so beautiful and soft. He looked at her in a very caring way. She felt an electric shock through her body when he touched her hand, with that soft touch, and asked her if she is a dancer! But unfortunately, he did not actually ask for a dance!

Little did she know, from the moment they seen each other that first time, he felt something, that was not so strange to him, though much more powerful than he has ever felt it before; but at the same time it was strange, as he felt that he should not have any feeling of such strong care towards her at all.

He did not know why he got such a strong feeling about her; he had only just laid eyes on her, she was beautiful sure; but she looked young, maybe about seventeen, he thought. He let it go quickly. But he knew…he knew something!

It was a connection, a strong connection, that he felt. But quite obviously, he denied and completely ignored these feelings. However, as they spoke, he knew they had a bond instantly, and knew they would form a friendship.

He knew she was young, too young, and it was wrong to feel such a connection. He was a married man, and she was young. He would never speak a word of his feeling of the connection between them, not ever.

Scarlet tried to hide her peculiar feelings, but all the while, she could not tear her eyes away from him, the way he walked, the way he would be up on stage singing, a beautiful song; she just could not look away, he captivated her, from the moment he walked in, to the moment he left. When he did leave, her heart would sink, she would wonder why her heart felt so numb, why she felt so sad.

They meet once again a few months later, late in October, his eyes are set on her, as he greets her, with his beauty, his brown eyes looking at her, as he says, ‘Hello’, in his husky deep voice. The night goes on, he looks at her, her heart skips a beat, she cannot breathe, she is shaking with tingles, he looks away, she calms down a little. Her eyes were set on him, and him only, throughout the night. Her heart starts to sink as the night comes to an end; until she hears her name being called; she looks round, recognizing the voice; she sees him, its Danny, stood there, he nods her over; she stands up from her seat, her legs like jelly; what does he want? She is wondering why he is calling her over, and only her; she looks at him as she walks towards him, he is smiling at her; she can’t help but smile back, all starry eyed, looking at him; she cannot breathe, her heart beating fast, as she is approaching him, her hands are sweaty, she takes the last step towards him…

He pulls her in, gives her a hug, his arms holding her, just for a few seconds, that passed too quickly, she felt his arms around her, his chest against hers, as she wraps her arms around him, a quick squeeze, she feels a strange feeling, a feeling she has never felt, when anyone has held her, even just for a couple of seconds, she felt secure, she felt safe, she felt…something.

He looks at her, right into her eyes, as the quick, squeezy but gentle hug ends; he takes her hand softly, he places in her hand, a little piece of paper folded up, so secretly, he whispers to her, not to show anyone that little piece of paper; she opens it, a mobile number is wrote across this small paper, she folds it back up, a breath is sucked in, she is in shock!

He smiles at her, saying text him, so they can talk, rather than on email. Only a few emails were traded between the two; she emailed him to say he and his band were really good and she enjoyed it; he emailed back, saying she is a good little dancer and he would love to have a dance at a gig; she agrees. But he was a married man at this time, so his wife wondered who this female friend of his was, so hence the secret little piece of paper. They only spoke very lightly and friendly on email. He told his wife, she was a young girl, who likes his band. But he will never tell his wife at the time, about tonight where he handed Scarlet the secret little piece of paper!

The dreamy young girl went home that night, and did not tell another soul! She texts him that night, to give him her number, the tingle of writing that number in her phone was overwhelming; she still wondered what this strange feeling was, what this overwhelming need to know him was.

The next morning, her little pink phone buzzed; she looked at it, seeing his name on her phone, a message from Danny; her eyes lit up, a smile came across her face, her heart beating fast, her palms sweating with excitement, she can hardly control herself, so eager to read the message that awaits her! She flips open her phone, clicks open, and that is where it all began.

As the months passed, she had turned sixteen, and was still struggling with life, but this older man, was there, helping her and guiding her through her bad days. They spoke just as friends; he made sure to keep it that way, and she kept it that way too. She needed his friendship, nothing more; and he would only give that friendship she needed and nothing more.

One day, he asked her a question; he asked her why she likes him, she answered truthfully and said, that he is an attractive man, but she does not understand this strange feeling he gives her. As time went on, they got to know each other, they became closer and closer each day; she found out more and more about him and his life, as he did with her; she eventually opened up to him, about what she had been through, the hell, the pain she felt, and was still feeling; how she was still dealing with it every day. She told him about her trust issues, how she cannot trust anyone, but why did she feel this strange feeling with him? She found it very odd.

They spoke, he gave her strength, he willed her to a better place, a better mind set. Somehow, he willed her strength when she first laid eyes on him. He would say sweet things to her each day, made her feel special, even though it was still very early days into her realising what she may be feeling. These sweet things were nothing major, they were just little things, to make her feel better about herself, when she was feeling very down; they were only friendly sweet little things.

One day, they spoke on a serious note, they were texting, and somehow her reasons for liking him were brought up, and soon after, she realized, she had a connection with him, this strange feeling was a connection! She was falling in love with him, more and more as each day passed, and she only just realized it now! She was in love with him! When they were having this conversation, she missed out the part she had just worked out, the part that she has fallen secretly in love with him, and just told him, he is a very nice person, an amazing guy, who she does not