Reflections

By faith foley

welcome to the story of my lifethe happiness,the tears,the sadness,and the fears,staring back at me,to slowly reveal.when i look into the mirror,it's a monster.a goblin full of my past mistakes,the past spoken words and screams,the times when my head was foggy not clean.i see the monster and i think that's who i am,as i am realistically just a girl,a girl in a small town,who walks around with a constant frown.my reflection is always staring back at me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Legacy Book Press
• Release date: Sep 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393690146

Book preview

reflections

a teen’s poems about navigating love and heartbreak in the shadow of trauma, mental illness, and a broken family

FAITH FOLEY

Legacy Book Press LLC

Davenport, Iowa

Copyright © 2020 Faith Foley

Cover design by Kaitlea Toohey

Interior illustrations and artwork by Faith Foley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-7347986-2-3

Library of Congress Number: 1-9183071541

dedicated to everyone who helped to make me stronger and got me through hard times.

also dedicated to the Family Resource Center, of which ten percent of the profits from the sale of this book will be donated.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Author’s & Publisher’s Note

mom

why aren’t you here?

i don’t

ages of my mother

mom

reflection of mother and daughter

do we know?

doll

flustered

too far gone

melancholy

roller coaster

trying

head in the clouds

bubbles

someday

death

dreams

fix it

puzzles of love

first day

help me!

i want it to be christmas

sounds

roses are red...

tomorrow

big kids blue

toxic friends

help

am I one of them?

hurt

listen

goodbye

control

PTSD

PTSD

i’m not okay

sleep paralysis

my mental illness

dealing with death

glass

break;

bleeding

smile

room

lost

the face of fear

remedy

play dough

leave me alone!

sisterly sadness

good day

believe

bathtub

that i’m...

toxic waste

love & heartbreak

you’re sinking slowly

her or me (oh when they walk away)

silhouette

independence

butterflies

enough

i

should’ve known

real

fake love

fiddle

mixed feels

why?

betrayed

horrible lies!

weight

damn

house

flames

the same

i want

addicted

secret

wednesday

phases of your moon

monster

do you mean it?

the one

star

your tools

hiccup

the end

Author’s & Publisher’s Note

These poems address the subjects of drug abuse, mental illness including PTSD and depression, sexual abuse, and death, so they may trigger uncomfortable feelings in the reader. If you feel triggered, please reach out to a trusted adult (if you’re under 18) or a trusted friend or family member (if you’re over 18) for help.

The following organizations are also there to help:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:

1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionhotline.org

National Alliance for Mental Health:

1-800-950-6264, nami.org,

or if in a crisis, text NAMI to 741741.

In the Quad Cities area, additional help is available through Family Resources Center.

24 Hour Free Crisis Line

(for Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault,

and other violent crimes):

Illinois: [phone]

Iowa Quad Cities: [phone]

Toll Free: [phone]

mom

why aren’t you here?

if you cared,

you would be here.

if you wanted me,

you would come back.

i need you.

i miss you.

but all you do is fly into the sky,

poke yourself with the needles.

the needles filled with regret,

the powder filled with danger.

why did you leave?

leave me on my own,

to grow up all alone.

hurt me and tear me to pieces,

to never try to heal me.

you gave up so easily.

you carried me.

you birthed me.

and you left me.

i say goodbye so bitterly,

as you chose dust and spoons over me,

and you continue to every single day.

as i grow up all alone,

with weights on my shoulders,

you could be here.

but you’re not.

i don’t

idon’t remember you .

i don’t remember your voice.

i don’t remember your face.

i don’t remember your manners.

i don’t remember your sense