Bipolar Me and Myself

By Wayne Hadfield

I started writing poems in 2003 whilst attending a day hospital most of the poems in the book are about bipolar with several family ones.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Feb 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728398990

Wayne Hadfield

My name is Wayne Hadfield, I’m 54 years old live in Ripley Derbyshire England with my partner Karen, I have three children and four grandchildren who are my world. I was diagnose with bipolar when I was 36 in 2002 though I was first hospitalized when I was 19.

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© 2020 Wayne Hadfield. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/21/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-9900-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-9901-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-9899-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

The Game Goes On

Make A Fresh Start

Medication Revolution

Disallussioned Man

Black

Castaway

Survival

Tears

So Alone

How Long

Runnning Scared

Pain Etched On My Face

A Brave Face Can Hide So Much

Forever To Return

I Wish

No Place To Hide

Hurt Inside

My Special Friends

So Proud Of You

Keep Taking The Pills

On Your Way Back

Day In Day Out

Gee

A Place Ill Never Forget

Your Still Strong

What Lies Within

Mason

Harrison

Ruby

Chloe

Karen

William

Natalie

My Future

Winter

New Year{2007}

New Year {2007}Cont.

2007

Pleasure

Memorys Of Happy Times

Dealing With Set Backs

Why Bother

Power Struggle

Lost In A World Of Your Own

Memories In A Plastic Bag

Strandard Alone

The Year Gone 2006

The Year Gone 2006 Cont

Five Months On

When Panic Hits

John

Me

Full House

Lisa

Elevator

Scrambled Head

Live My Dreams Through You

Good News

At Last

Good News

Manipultive

New Beginning

Waiting Game

A New Beginning

A Time To Reflect

A Change For The Better

Hopes For The Future

Feeling Deflated

Special Treatment

Thank You

Moving Forward

Escape

Moving On

Tears Of Dispair

What Lies Ahead

Bipolar And Proud

Never Beaten

Change(I Hope)

Tired

Steps Forward

End Of Year Approches

A Get Well Plan

All Inclusive

Reflection

Mystery Man

Born Again

Emotions Roll Into One

Moving On

Moving On (Or Standing Still)

Flight Of Fantasy

Happiness

Tears Run Free

Rules To Suit Yourself

Compassionate Mind

Sky Of Snow

Sail Away

Twenty Years

Step By Step

Song For The End

Keep Fighting On

Future

Set In Your Ways

What Ive Become

Hope

Tired

Panic Strikes

Faces From The Past

Feeling Good

Natalie

William

Georgina

Chloe

Ruby

Harrison

Mason

Future

Standing Still

Karen

High

Broken Man

THE GAME GOES ON

Someone once told me treat this all as a game,

But games are fun, this fills me with shame,

I feel ashamed that I always feel ill,

Getting so annoyed,

But where theres a way theres a will,

Other people go through life with no worries at all,

As soon as ive found my feet im bound to fall,

Surely this has to end one day soon now

Things have to improve for me someway somehow,

People say i look well how I look is different to how I feel,

Its whats going on inside my head, which is oh so real,

A feeling of fear a feeling of mental pain,

Will the qualitiesi once had be something I regain,

Or is it the new real me, that I have to find,

Stop being cruel to myself, in fact start being kind,

Then maybe the tension will lift pressure relieved,

Bury the old me, finally being fully grieved

I know the real truth, is ifs buts and maybes

Lets hope my eyes clear so I start to see,

Get rid of all the guilt that I carry around,

At last the new me is someone I like, I am found.

MAKE A FRESH START

Draw a line under the past, time to move on,

Things happen to others im not the only one,

Time for me to make a fresh new start,

Look inside my head go from the heart,

No more dwelling on the past that’s easy to say,

But move away from it a bit more each day,

Memories will stay but in time they will fade,

But things will be easier plans have been made,

It’s a time for me to feel like im born again,

Finally rid myself of this mental pain,

The thought of it fills me with joy,

Makes me feel like a child with a new toy,

This is not a dream this is reality,

Something that really effects my family and me,

So watch this space as my dreams come true,

Not a single one day, ever feeling blue.

MEDICATION REVOLUTION

So many years now 5 1\2 years down the line,

Confused by everything, not knowing what is mine

Not believing that ive progressed at all,

One step forward and then another fall,

Taken every tablet that’s ever been prescribed,

Without the benefits which each pill discribed,

Shake me up and down hear the pills rattle,

Do I carry on being a sheep or do I battle,

I think ill choose the later start my own war,

Make some decisions so I can even up the score,

Time for a medicene revoultion a complete overhaul,

Ive given it much thought im really sure,

Its time for me to finally take control,

Start to repair the damage done on the whole,

I know it wont be easy but think the time is right,

For me to use strength call on all my might.

DISALLUSSIONED MAN

I feel beaten by this illness every single dasy,

So many obstacles and problems getting in my way,

Forever disallussined not able to see a way ahead,

Is it worth me ever gettting out of bed,

Why should I bother why not just give in,

I dig deep find somethingfrom within,

A force that drives me on helps me,

Somehow theres a positive future I can see,

You see things cant always stay bad they must improve,

Its worth the gamble after all what can I