The Plight of the Immigrant Woman: A Journey to Understanding Relationships and Acts of Resilience

By Simran Walia

After marrying at age twenty-two, Simran Walia moved across the Indian Ocean where she was suddenly thrust into a new life far from family and friends. Without a support group, emails, or access to social media, Walia felt alone and afraid as she attempted to adapt to the norms and lifestyle of her new family and cultural environment.

Walia intertwines her personal stories as an immigrant woman, mother, and therapist with the stories of those she has had the privilege to work beside. She has made it her mission to guide other immigrant women on a journey to finding their authentic selves and the resilience to experience harmonious lives and relationships, despite their struggles. While addressing the obstacles immigrant women often face, Walia discusses the impact of blending cultures on relationships; how values and feelings can impact our behaviors; the importance of a social network; the ideas that surround ego and the ego trap; and the ways gratitude, prayer, and meditation can help immigrant women to overcome personal struggles. Included are in-depth exercises and Walia’s reflections.

The Plight of the Immigrant Woman brings to light the importance of finding our authentic selves, understanding the roots of our values and beliefs, and living a harmonious life with our loved ones.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Nov 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982238629

Simran Walia

Simran Walia immigrated from India to Africa and then to Canada. She holds a master’s degree in social work and has experience as a counselor, college lecturer, and probation officer. Now semi-retired, Simran provides short term counseling for trauma victims, and enjoys spending time with her three children and four exceptionally special grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2019 Simran Walia.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3861-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3863-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3862-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019918842

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/27/2019

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 My Journey

Chapter 2 The Influence of Culture and Family in Relationships and Conflict

Chapter 3 Ideas of Responsibility and Commitment within a Family

Chapter 4 Tapping into Your Strength and Resilience

Chapter 5 Resolving Conflicts

Chapter 6 The Role of Ego in Relationships

Chapter 7 The Process of Socialization on an Individual and Communal Level

Chapter 8 The Connection amongst Values, Beliefs, and Relationships

Chapter 9 Living with Grace

Chapter 10 Finding Your Authentic Self

Chapter 11 Workbook Exercises

About the Author

I AM INSPIRED TO WRITE THIS story for many reasons. Firstly, my inspiration comes from the many people I have worked with throughout my career as a teacher, counsellor, and social worker. I have learned so much from these people and cherish their stories. My own journey has also inspired me to write this book. I am proud to say that I have accomplished many amazing things, regardless of the adversities I have dealt with along the way. My reliance comes from my faith, my life purpose, and the network of people who believed in me: my late husband, who consistently encouraged me; I carry the values that my mother instilled, including the importance of unconditional love and compassion for impoverished people. My children inspire me daily with their unconditional love support. Lastly, my grandchildren are still young, but their laughter fills my heart. It is amazing to see how their personalities form and how a loving network can really foster resilience in children. I am so thankful to God, whom I call Babaji. He gave me the strength and courage to write this book and fulfill my dreams.

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The girl in the window looks out and sees

The deadened grass but the flourishing trees.

She thought to herself, How could this be?

From nothing came a beautiful tree.

She heard a voice say,

"If majesty can grow from dormant earth,

Then, my child, I give you a rebirth.

Fly from here, escape this pain.

You are royal, now take your reign.

Show the world the majesty that is you."

And with that, the girl grew wings and flew.

-AS-

Introduction

W HEN I GOT MARRIED AT twenty-two years old, I moved away from home. This move was not to the next town or city; this move was across the Indian Ocean. I was suddenly thrust into a life I was completely unprepared for. I was forced to adapt and adjust to the norms and lifestyle of my new family (my partner and my in-laws) and new cultural environment. I did not have a social network to support me, as this was long before we had access to long-distance telephone calls, emails, or social media. I felt alone and scared. This experience led me to my career as a social worker.

The story I am writing is a familiar one, especially for immigrant women. The struggles women face, especially immigrant women when it comes to the relationships between couples, extended family members, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and children, are complex. Much like myself, many of these women are thrown into a new, unfamiliar world.

As a therapist and in my personal life, I have found that many immigrant women struggle with navigating their relationships, while adjusting to their new lives. This book is for those women who are struggling with their relationships, conflicting value systems, and are trying to adapt to their new families and extended families. Above all, this book is for the women who want to learn about the importance of resilience and overcoming their adversities.

This book is divided into eleven chapters, and within each chapter I have woven my life story and my professional