That's The Way She Is

By Archie Lee

This book contains material that will educate men and women on how to interact with each other through understanding and communicating. It provides insights on relationships and how to deal with the issues that come with them. It also provides a wealth of knowledge on the different types of women, and their character personalities. It discussed how men and women interact with each other through understanding and communication; the challenges faced with dating and social interaction, sustaining marriage, and platonic relationships.
That’s The Way She Is provides a male centric point of view on the female character personalities types. The information revealed in this book is based on research, as well as group discussions from a crowdsource of intellectual men and women with professional, romantic and problematic relationship experiences.
Obviously, many terms in this book can easily be considered chauvinistic and derogatory towards women. To be clear, I do not support the exploitation of women in any form. Nonetheless, the harsh fact remains that many in our society continue to use negative terms to describe various types of women, resulting in some women accepting them as the norm, internalizing, and ultimately identifying themselves as such. My aim will be to thoroughly explain the meaning of these terms in a technical and constructive sense.
One of my goals is to encourage all men to listen carefully to the women in our lives-mothers, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and wives. I hope that reading this book makes as profound a difference in your life, as writing it has in mine. May your relationships be successful and everlasting.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Golden Brick Road Publishing House Inc.
• Release date: Mar 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781988736129

Book preview

Lee

INTRODUCTION

How do I define a female type? In social psychology, behavior is defined as the set of actions of a person, or the way you conduct yourself around people. One can consider behavior as the intersection of biology and beliefs, of someone’s nature versus nurture as filtered through genetics and the environment. A type is a category of people with the same particular characteristics that can allow us to consider them as a group. In researching this book, I used both criteria to develop generalized personality descriptions (female types) that our society and its various communities use to describe women. As with male personality types, there are definitive strengths and weaknesses associated with each female type. I encourage readers to explore my work with an open mind. As a student of social psychology, it has always struck me that acceptable behavior is subjective; what may seem to some to be a positive personality trait can easily be viewed by others as a fatal flaw. Meanwhile, our nation and the world as a whole have developed, defined, and continually redefine gender roles, providing an even more stringent framework for roles within relationships and in the home. By no means have I succeeded in unraveling the mysteries of female behavior. My aim is to discuss in depth and provide an initial framework of contemporary female types that can help men in their efforts to form, develop, and maintain lasting and satisfying relationships with women. In a more pragmatic sense, I hope to provide men with the insight necessary to find an appropriate mate, be it for a long-term commitment, for love and companionship, for that one-night stand, or for anything in between.

To begin to develop this modern framework, I set out on a research mission to compile the most accurate and pertinent raw data possible – from none other than contemporary women in a public, anonymous setting. I conducted a study with twenty different women randomly selected from different ethnic backgrounds, ranging from 18 to 45 years of age. The central question in my study was simple: What do you want from a man? (see Appendix B). I received a wealth of feedback from these subjects, especially on my efforts to compile a framework of different female types. Fortunately for me, it turns out that most women are very comfortable talking about themselves and other women in terms of types.

Meanwhile, I want to make it clear that I am not interested in female bashing. Throughout my work, I make an effort to remain balanced and point out that men have failed to adapt beyond archaic gender roles to relate to women with more sensitivity. Somewhat to my surprise, following the distribution of my first edition, I discovered that the majority of my supporters are female. Let’s consider this book a roadmap for men who cannot figure out what type of woman they may, for a variety of reasons, be attracted to-or consistently attract, for that matter. Once a man figures out what he is searching for in a woman, he will know what it takes to keep her. For women, I hope this book will add to your understanding of your most prominent behaviors, how men may perceive you, and how your behaviors may affect your most significant relationships and your community as a whole. I hope it will enhance your knowledge of what men most commonly desire in women and perhaps inspire you to examine your own personality type. It is important not to consider the types set out in these chapters as cookie-cutter molds that define all females – most women are a combination of the attributes discussed herein. I would argue that it is quite rare to encounter a modern woman who represents only one of the personality types found here.

It is apparent that men and women are as different as night and day, and this includes how we react to situations and conflicts in relationships. This is a fundamental truth. But the million-dollar question remains: Do men really understand women? Most men will say yes, but the simple truth is they don’t! Let’s be honest: The male ego makes it difficult for men to care for, understand, and respect women adequately. I will discuss the male ego in further detail in my follow-on work, That’s The Way He Is. For the most part, men tend to be painfully naïve when it comes to dealing with women, expecting them to act, think, and react as they do. Men also tend to think that all women are good-natured and have good intentions. The unfortunate truth is that individuals of both genders can be dishonest and manipulative. One thing that makes understanding women difficult is that women are consistently inconsistent. They are fickle yet perceptive, known for changing their minds frequently and making adjustments according to any given situation. Men see this as a lack of decisiveness when in fact it shows how women can and will respond to changes in situations, emotions, and behavior. I will talk more about the differences later in the book.

In addition to my research project, my personal upbringing and background also provide a unique perspective. I was raised in a household of four females – my mother, two sisters, and a niece. My early interactions with these women, all of them with very different personalities, were catastrophic at times. I am grateful for having been given this unique perspective and, to this day, hold each of these special women in high regard. While my father was also a part of my life and provided much needed direction, it was watching him skillfully and lovingly relate to these women that gave me incredible insight. Men have much to learn about dealing with women and have far to go in our continued efforts to love and support them. Additionally, in my professional life, including my years of service in the armed forces, I have worked with many women, and experienced many of the associated advantages and disadvantages. I have observed acts of manipulation, deceit, and vengeance, but I have also been witness to profound dedication, love, respect, honor, nurturing, and long-lasting companionship. Similarly, in relationships, we need to look for these qualities in women to help keep us committed.

Over the course of writing this book, I received positive reviews from men and women who agree with my philosophy. The character types I detail are based on extensive research on social interaction with women, dating, and surveys. Another thing I hope to instill in this book is the invaluable wisdom gained from countless casual conversations, past relationships, and counseling sessions with women. The accounts, experiences, and advice I received from these women were priceless, and I feel that if just one man’s relationship is better for having read this work, my goal has been attained.

Believe it or not, most heterosexual men will have either had a relationship experience with, or otherwise encountered a woman representing each of these female types within their lifetime. My personal experiences with these female types are what inspired me to include them in this book. Hopefully, reading this book may help other men realize their own preferred female type and learn how to work out issues that can lead to breakups. We need to realize that we are all different, and that these differences very often spark that initial, intense attraction that is the catalyst for many relationships. All women come with challenges – baggage and unresolved psychological issues – just as men do. However, I cannot overstate the importance of recognizing the problems and preparing to deal with and overcome them. Men need to appreciate women for whom and what they are. They need to keep in mind all women are different physically and mentally, and are unique in their own way. These are the qualities needed to create, nurture, and maintain a lasting connection between men and women.

CHAPTER ONE

Understanding and Communicating with Women

Let’s begin! This is an in-depth discussion of the basics of understanding and communicating with women. It is absolutely vital that both partners grasp that these elements, when properly learned and implemented, form the basis of what holds any relationship together. Keep in mind that my goal is to provide a rough framework for the countless female behavioral/personality types (from a male perspective). I strongly encourage using this work as a starting point – go online or to your local library to gain a deeper knowledge of the subject. If you find that your relationship is on its deathbed, I recommend seeking out an accredited relationship therapist or counselor.

UNDERSTANDING

More than once I have heard men, usually perplexed to the point of frustration, say, I love women, but I hate the way they think. Certainly, women are complicated creatures. However, men can take some solace