A Helper Suitable: Becoming That ‘Good Thing’ Every Man Needs

By Susan Best

Do you feel stuck? Are you open to making some life changes based on experiential information that is both honest and relatable? In A Helper Suitable, author Susan Best seeks to inspire and motivate every woman who wants to experience positive personal and relational change not only in the way she thinks but also in how she relates to her man.

Written from a Christian woman’s perspective, Best provides guidance and advice to change the trajectory of your relationship through four key elements. She prompts you to honestly evaluate yourself, your life, and your relationship through the filters of love and persistent prayer, with God being your helper.

A Helper Suitable combines a wealth of information gathered from the Bible and from Best’s observations, research, and conversations to help you be with a godly husband. Written for everyone from a seasoned lady, to middle-aged women, to the young, and single and those soon-to-be wed, Best offers a guide for becoming a better helper to your man.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973668763

Susan Best

Susan Best has been serving God most of her life. She is a psalmist, worship leader, song writer, producer, and recording artist. Best has recorded ten albums, seven of which are solo albums and one single titled “Reckless Abandon.” Her musical arsenal includes such songs as “No Time for Second Best,” “Speak Life and Live,” and “High and Exalted One.” She has been married for more than two decades and has one adult child.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 Susan Best.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6877-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6878-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6876-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019909700

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/16/2019

To my little king,

the wind beneath my wings

Disclaimer

You will notice in my introduction that at the time of publication I was on a self-imposed sabbatical from my marital relationship. I could have left this out of the book; however, I believe honesty is the best policy, and it is better that you hear it from me.

I had my reasons for the step I took, but in no way am I a proponent of anyone abandoning their post. If ever you come to a decision of that nature, it would have to be after much prayer and godly counsel. I believe that any separation should be earned, except for situations of abuse or abandonment.

Every marriage has its difficulties, and it requires the combined effort of both parties and their individual and corporate submission to God to make it work. In other words, it takes two plus God to tango. If God is at the head and both husband and wife submit to his headship and to each other, that is a recipe for success.

In my case I needed time away from my situation for God to reset and reposition me in a place of health and wholeness. I have purposed to live one day at a time, and I can testify today that by God’s grace I am on a steady road to recover who God intended me to be from the beginning.

To God be the glory. Great things he has done.

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1     The Impetus

Chapter 2     Very Good Thing

Chapter 3     Helper

Chapter 4     Honesty

Chapter 5     Evaluation

Chapter 6     Love

Chapter 7     What Love Is Not

Chapter 8     What Is Love?

Chapter 9     Persistent Prayer

Chapter 10   The Conclusion of the Whole Matter

Notes

Preface

I was on my way out. I was emotional, unsure, and contemplative all at once. I expected to feel exhilarated and happy because I had recently made it to half of a century and was looking forward to a more liberated and prosperous future. But something caught me off-guard, and I wasn’t feeling as I expected to at that moment.

What brought that on? you may ask. It was the end of 2018, and as custom dictates, I had gone to church. The pastor spoke on a relevant topic, but it left me a little on the touched side. Being in my feelings that day is what prompted me to write what you are now reading. I was hoping to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. And I did … eventually. Now I’m extending an invitation for you to take a walk with me. We will discover the interesting things I learned as I waded through my stuff on my way to clarity and freedom.

Acknowledgments

Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the LORD helped us (1 Samuel 7:12 KJV). Hitherto has the Lord helped me as well. I give him all the honor and praise because he has brought me a mighty long way to accomplish his will in my life.

None of this would have been possible without some very important people that God recently added to my life. I want to thank the Shekinah Glory family, especially Apostle Dorreth Goldson-Todman. She has been a midwife in the Spirit to me. She never takes no for an answer when God has placed something on her heart. This book is a product of her gentle but firm encouragement to bring forth what God placed within me.

I thank God every day for my son, who released me to find myself, as well as my family and friends who always offered encouraging words. On the days when I felt like giving up, those words made all the difference in the world. You know who you are.

Thanks to my Transformational Story Coach/Storypreneur Strategist Shaneequa Cannon https://www.facebook.com/ShaneequaLCannon and the Walk in Authority Facebook group. Your fellowship and support generated the knowledge and confidence that I needed to take this leap. May God continue to bless your efforts.

Most of all, I thank God for my blood sisters and sisters and brothers in the faith, who were always so kind. You gave what you had when I needed it, and that was enough. I hope one day to return the favor.

God has been exceptionally good to me, and I owe my life to him.

Introduction

How I Got Here

To say 2018 was a memorable time and season in my life would be an understatement. As the year began, I was in one emotional state of mind, and as it ended, I was in another. My effort to withdraw from the things that seared my soul also caused me to change my geographical location. I could only describe my thoughts and feelings as a roller-coaster ride that threatened to derail everything I believed in. They forced me to make drastic changes—steps that led to the beginning of my transitional journey toward health and wholeness.

We can view change as good or bad based on our perspective. From my point of view, you can use a period of change as time to examine where you are and how you got there. You can decide whether you want to continue in that vein or embrace something different. It all depends on how comfortable you are in your present state and where you see yourself in the future. The most important thing to remember at those times is that whatever adjustments are being considered, they should line up with what God wants for you. His plan is always perfect.

So at the time of the writing of this book, I was in transit, leaving the place I’d called home for twenty-two years. I’d also taken a self-imposed sabbatical from the relationship I had been a willing card-carrying member of for more than two decades. To be completely honest, my feelings were mixed, but I knew that I’d made the right decision. Knowing this didn’t help though because many days my heart threatened to break under feelings of extreme loss.

It took almost a year spent in prayer, personal work, and service to others and to God to get where I am. But thank God that today I am in a better place both spiritually and emotionally. Relationally, it’s not where I expected to be at this point in my life. I had dreams and visions of