Love Is a Business

By J.L. Kirkwood

Love is a Business is a self-help book inspired by the thousands of relationships J.L. Kirkwood has turned around as a Relationship Coach/Career Coach and Professor. Over the years he has worked to perfect the best ideologies and philosophies to assist couples with mending their broken relationship or coaching individuals on how to find love. The one thing that has been consistent is people dont know where to begin. Finding it difficult as a coach trying to explain love to someone who had never seen or felt it before was like trying to paint a picture of a red flower with a broken petal to someone without eyesight. Over time as J.L. got more in tune with his clients, he realized that he was subconsciously correlating love to certain aspects of their job or career. That was the moment of revelation. Clients got it! They really got it, and from that point on there was no turning back. J.L. began using this technique almost as if he had patented the recipe to managing love. Now people all over the world are able to experience the benefits of career/relationship management.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546231318

J.L. Kirkwood

J.L. Kirkwood, the bestselling author, award winning poet and certified relationship/career coach delivers a powerful, yet insightful book that bridges the seemingly unconnected worlds of job seeking and employment with dating and love. As seen and heard on many national radio and television networks such as BET, TLC, HGTV, 107.5 WGCI etc., his message resonates with an audience yearning for happiness. He quenches your thirst for what love looks like and becomes your human GPS, navigating your career/love path to help you arrive at both destinations, safely. There are no dead end streets in love, only detours that reroutes you to your purpose and destiny. Providing a refreshingly brand new perspective that gives new meaning to relationship/career coaching, perhaps J.L. has a point, Love is a Business.

Book preview

LOVE

IS A

BUSINESS®

J.L. KIRKWOOD

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2018 J.L. Kirkwood. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/11/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3132-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3130-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3131-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018902699

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 The basics

Chapter 2 Getting Started

Chapter 3 Presenting Yourself

Chapter 4 Locking It Down

Chapter 5 You’re Hired! Now What?

Chapter 6 Benefits And Perks

Chapter 7 Making It Work

Chapter 8 Problem Areas And Pitfalls

Chapter 9 Taking Stock

Chapter 10 Climbing the Ladder

Chapter 11 Security

Chapter 12 In The End

Epilogue

Intriguing and inspiring, Love is a Business® is your business.

— Celia Bonaduce, HGTV, Director, House Hunters

Love is a Business, but you can’t expect full-time benefits when you treat it like a part-time job.

—J. L. Kirkwood

Usually when an airplane can’t take flight, the first thing removed is the baggage. So if your life isn’t going where you think it should, try losing some baggage—negative people, friends who don’t raise you up, dead-end relationships, and bad attitudes. Then you’ll be able to soar.

—J. L. Kirkwood

INTRODUCTION

W HEN IT COMES to employment, most people exist in one of three states: they are either happy at a job they love, working at a job that makes them unhappy, or unemployed and looking for a new job. A similar statement can be made about relationships. Most people are either happily coupled with someone they love, caught in a relationship that makes them unhappy, or looking for a relationship with someone new. The similarities between employment and relationships do not stop there. In this book, I want to explore and explain the similarities between a job and a relationship and how the skills learned for one can translate to the other.

As a Relationship Coach with a Master’s of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy, I counsel thousands of clients about such concerns as unsatisfactory relationships, divorce and separation, child-rearing, home management, and financial difficulties. I help develop and implement individualized treatment plans that address family and relationship problems.

I also served as a Professor for Career and Professional Development and was a Senior Career Strategist for several years, interviewing, providing professional coaching and development, and helping professionals transition from college to their chosen career. I conducted advising sessions with undergraduate and graduate students as well as alumni.

Having spent several years as an employment counselor and hiring manager and over fifteen years of working with couples and individuals and counseling them about relationships, I’ve had a great deal of experience in two seemingly disconnected worlds. What I have come to realize is that those people who can approach their relationships and love lives with the same tenacity and dedication they have for their job are the people who are most successful. Beyond that, they also tend to be the happiest people—both in work and in love.

Throughout this book, I will discuss the similarities between searching for a job and searching for a relationship. We will explore the opportunities available through each type of search and the best ways to present yourself in each situation to give you the best chance for success.

We will also cover the things you should never do when applying or interviewing for a job or on a first date, from bad-mouthing your former boss or ex to arriving unprepared. You’ll be surprised how similar most of these things are!

This book should be a fast, engaging read for anyone searching for a job or a relationship. I want you to have fun with this while also learning some important skills that will keep you happy in both your professional and your personal life. In both, it is important that you don’t settle and that you make sure you’re being the best employee or partner you can be. Remember that every relationship—whether personal or professional—is a two-way street, and giving is just as important as receiving.

I hope that you enjoy this book and that it becomes a resource that you can turn to time and time again to remind yourself of the necessary steps you should take as you work toward having the life you want.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

—J.L. Kirkwood

Chapter 1

THE BASICS

I F LOVE IS the institution then the couples involved can be considered franchise owners of the relationship. Both of the people involved in it are responsible for the way they manage and oversee their piece of the bigger puzzle. Your partner is your business, and vice versa, and it’s important to treat it as your investment. The words love and business are the key terms. When people ask What is love, many expect to have an object or thing that they can reference described to them. But I always say love is an action verb and that it actually expresses action. Love also isn’t one thing: it’s the foundation of things that exist, and it’s specific to you and you only. If someone tried to describe cake, he or she would proceed to name things that the cake was made of because it’s hard to describe a cake without discussing at least some of the ingredients that it takes to make the cake. If you took a moment to set out all the ingredients to make a cake, i.e., flour, butter, eggs, etc., you wouldn’t actually have a cake per se until everything was put together. That’s exactly how I describe love. If a person broke down love, he or she would have to provide you with the ingredients he or she personally feels are included in the recipe of the relationship that he or she is describing. All those things mixed together is what can be considered love.

Before you begin a new job or a new relationship, you have to go through the process of searching for what you want. This process often begins with exhaustive research into available openings for jobs, or, if it’s a relationship you’re looking for, a perusal of dating websites or networking events. Either way, your attitude when approaching your search is important. Positivity and a clear idea of what you want, as well as what you’re not willing to settle for, are important things to keep in mind.

This chapter focuses on the issues you should consider either when you decide that you want a new job, or when you determine you’re ready for a relationship. In either case, it’s important to make sure you go into things with your eyes wide open, fully aware of what’s out there for you.

THE ECONOMY

When you are looking for a job, you’ll often hear people say, No one is hiring right now. You’ll also hear complaints that there aren’t a lot of good jobs out there. Chances are, you’ve heard the same sort of thing when your friends talk about the dating pool. When was the last time you heard the phrase, A good man is hard to find, or, I can’t find the right kind of woman? It probably wasn’t that long ago.

In both cases, the truth is something other than what it might seem. While it is true that the country and economy is rebounding from one of the biggest recessions in history, there is still plenty of work out there and opportunities for many people. The same is true for relationships and dating. The expression, There are plenty of fish in the sea exists for a reason! You may not be interested in many of the available people, but that shouldn’t blind you to the fact that there are undoubtedly plenty of people out there who would be an excellent partner for you. In fact, someone whom you don’t know and who is hoping to meet someone just like you is out there right now.

In both situations, it is important not to get caught up in the fatalistic attitude that you’ll never find a job or a relationship. Forecasting failure can become a self-fulfilling prophecy in