Suicide Notes from an Almost Dead Soul

By Cindy Reynaga

Ive always been trapped in what seemed to be two different realities. Feeling like I lived in two different bodies, I constantly felt stuck between the two. I knew one was who I wanted to be and the other was what I was becoming. Its difficult to know exactly who you are and who you want to be but not being able to become that person because youve become comfortable in the skin that has evolved around the person you no longer want to become. My depression became an alternate persona, and I, to this day, have trouble explaining it to people who havent been in a similar situation. People who have never experienced this will never know all the suffering that was attached to living like this. The person I wanted to be was active and outgoing; she had a passion for making the world hers, and she wasnt afraid of anything. But who I was for the majority of my life wanted to be alone, didnt see a future for myself, and thought Id be gone before my sixteenth birthday. The difference between these two people was like night and day, but internally, it felt like I was living two separate lives. I was in desperate need of help and needed to speak up before time ran out.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 17, 2017
• ISBN: 9781546207283

Cindy Reynaga

Cindy Marie Reynaga was born in a small town in Idaho; she lives with her parents and is currently attending college. She hopes to become an automotive technician, and live a happy life. She has faced many hardships in her life, but refuses to give up. She believes in the beauty of this world and hopes to touch the lives of many people with her writing.

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© 2017 Cindy Reynaga. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse   09/11/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5462-0729-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-0727-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-0728-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017913756

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

February 24, 2012

March 13, 2012

May 16, 2012

July 10, 2012

September 9, 2012

October 24, 2012

November 16, 2012

January 2, 2013

February 11 2013

March 3, 2013

March 26, 2013

April 7, 2013

May 23, 2013

April 26, 2013

May 29, 2013

June, 16, 2013

July 5, 2013

August 22, 2013

September 18. 2013

October 31, 2013

December 29, 2013

January 1, 2014

February 15, 2014

March 7, 2014

April 3, 2014

May 8, 2014

June 1, 2014

July 4, 2014

August 18, 2014

September 17, 2014

October 5, 2014

December 11, 2014

January 1, 2015

January 25, 2015

February 6, 2015

June 7, 2015

August 1, 2015

September 2, 2015

October 16, 2015

November 11, 2015

December 16, 2015

December 26, 2015

January 9, 2016

January 16, 2016

January 17, 2016

January 19, 2016

January 29, 2016

February 2, 2016

February 6, 2016

March 17, 2016

July 5, 2017

About the Author

For God, Because He Listened

My Parents, Because They Gave Me Hope

For Kayla, Because She Believed

And

For Logan, Because He Was Brave

All Great Things Have Battle Scars

My name is Cindy Marie, and I’ve battled severe depression and bipolar 1 for seven years. My illness had always been pushed under the rug and I allowed it to go untreated for seven years causing my health to worsen with age. I never really had anyone to talk to about my depression so I tried every outlet, from cutting, burning, not going into detail on a lot, but anything you could possibly think of. One outlet that turned out to be very beneficial was writing, because I wrote so often about my illness and my tragedies it caused me to become a strong writer. Over the course of four years I documented my life in a series of pages and words. Not quite poetry but not quite a story