Feel

By Margaritë Camaj

This book is about how the heart and the mind possess your greatest power. Use it. Feel.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 2, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524652869

Margaritë Camaj

In her movements, you can feel the love in her heart. And, in her eyes, you can see the resistance in her mind. She has Albanian roots, but she is the product of the "unprivileged" parts of New York City. She may have innocent-looking eyes, but they grew up seeing everything but what was pretty. She is usually the opposite of anything they can all think of, a walking contradiction. She goes against any false depiction. Writing from a deep-rooted love was the only way that she knew how to destroy their predictions.

Book preview

2016 Cover By: Francesca Nicole Cardillo. All rights reserved.

Cover by: Francesca Nicole Cardillo

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/02/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-5287-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-5285-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-5286-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016919918

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Mama

Feel

I just want you to feel something.

The coming together of The Heart and The Mind is rare, but a beautiful phenomenon that not everyone allows themselves to experience.

The Mind

How Do You Survive?

Do You Belong Here?

How Do You Get Through Reality?

Where Do We Go From Here?

Should We Forgive?

What Do You See When You Look For Truth?

But, Is It Making You Happy?

Have We Become Robots?

How Do You Find Peace Of Mind?

Are You Free—I Mean, Really Free?

Does Time Control You?

Where Did Worrying Get You?

Can You Hold On To Who You Are?

Do You Love Your Mind?

Is This Real Life?

Shouldn’t Humans Feel Something?

How Far Is Your Vision?

What Have We Become? We Are Human—Or Are We?

What Will You Do With The Pain?

Are You Willing To Be Vulnerable?

Do You Ever Let Your Mind Be Still?

Do You Have The Strength To Stand Alone?

Do You Ever Wake Up With A New Mind State?

Are You Willing To Wait For Love?

What Two Gifts Would You Give Them?

Do You Have Eyes That See?

What Is Your Legacy?

Would Younger You Be Happy?

Do You Have What It Takes To Stay Focused Even When They Doubt You?

Do You Know The Power Of Your Own Mind?

Do You Ever Take A Look At Who You Have Around You?

Can You Defeat Fear?

Does Your Mind Feel?

How Can You Change The World?

How Powerful Are Your Memories?

Can You Keep Going?

How Beautiful Are Imperfections?

Do You Ever Feel Like You Find A Part Of Yourself In Everything?

Do You Know How You Love?

Do You Love Yourself Just As Much?

Do You Take The Time to Reflect and Reevaluate?

When Has Worrying Saved You?

Are You Your Worst Enemy?

Do You Believe That You Can Find Yourself Again?

Do You Ever Let Yourself Just Be Free—In Every Way?

How Much Do You Crave Human Emotion?

What Is Inside Of A Great Mind?

Is There Light In Darkness?

Have You Ever Watched A Human Move—I Mean, Really Move You?

What Level Is Your Awareness On?

Is Your Heart Or Mind Stronger?

When It Is Said And Done, What Can Save You?

Are You Awake To Everything Around You?

What Do You Choose—Love OR Hate?

Do You See Deeper Than The Surface?

Are They Worthy of Your Soul?

What Is In Your Subconscious?

Switch…

The Heart

Are You Willing To Wait For Love?

Only You

Almost

Irrational

Tired Soul

I Hope You Save Me

Greater Than Love

Think Twice

Weak Bonds

I Won’t Chase You

Is My Heart Too Heavy For Your Hands?

I Heard Your Heart

In Between The Lines

Just In Time

Protect Your Love

A Secret They Didn’t Know

Thirteen Words

I Thought You Would Know

Something Different

Her

Questions

Muse

Intentions

Please Stay

Choose

You Found Me

I Wonder

Let It Be

To You

Carry Your Heart

The Cleanse

Him

The Fall

The Answer

Don’t Remind Him

Silent Love

Selfless

Keep Out

Hard To Breathe

I Will Heal You

Where Are You?

Love Has Strong Roots

Before Hello

One

My Letter To Him

Yellow Leaf

Turned Cold

She Was Greater Than Light

Indestructible

What Do You Look For In Another?

Away From You

Still Searching

I’m Here Once Again

Different Love

Shaken

Godsent

Temporary Or Permanent Emotions?

Love, To Me

Healed

I Want Nothing Less Than Love

My Forever

All Of You

Reflections

The Heart Always Wins

Simple

Comparisons

Definite

Dear Society, Wake Up

Never Too Much

I Could Love You

They Couldn’t Break Him

Don’t Be Scared To Love

Hard To Find

Made For Him

Know My Soul

Mistake

Look Inside

Don’t Speak

Pick Your Choice

Collide

My Movements

Feel

Be Ready

You Never Know

Reciprocation

Pay Attention

You Are My Light

Your Soul

What Is Love?

Heavy Heart

He Will See You

Natural Connection

Our Downfall

Connected

Promise Me

All For Love

Balance

Infinite

My Truth

In Sync

Silent Storm

Love Gave Me Life

Guarded

Your Worth

Your Own Fault

Take A Look

Open

Select

Something Is Missing

The Same

Only If You Stay

Let Go

Hold On To Me

Different Kind Of Strength

It All Comes Together

Entirely

Not For You

Not The Same

You Are Safe Here

Figured It Out

It Is Here

Always Love

Tied Together

Looking For You

Illusions

Safe With You

Before I Healed

My Missing Piece

Same Souls

Cycle

No Words Needed

Once

He Is King

Love Did Not Hurt You

My Oxygen

Keeps Me Alive

Fulfillment

Unsure

In An Instant

Possibility

Doubts

Overflowing

One Fear

Have It All

Waves

The Greatest Gift

Short Promises

The Good In Me

Be Careful

Human Tragedy

Too Much Inside

Consuming You

Held Me Together

Unexpected

Whole Again

Hello

My Masterpiece

Nothing More Than You

Transformation

You Deserve It All

Resilience

Exchange of Energies

The Impact

In Tune

Different Kind Of Power

I Will Rise

Poetry Over Politics

Strong Enough

He Told Me

Greater Than The Universe

Not That Innocent

Be Gentle

My Person

I Won’t Stop Searching

Lullaby

In Your Power

A Home

I Don’t Know How He Did It

Eventually

New Direction

Made Up My Mind

Something More

Feel My Absence

I Blame Fear

Opposite Hearts

A Part Of Me

Out of Emotion

It Now Makes Sense

I Already Know

We Remain

Don’t Belong

His Thoughts

Always Myself

Read Me

All Of The Beautiful Parts

Until You Come

A Better Me

Love Lives In Me

Survivor

I Don’t Know

Perseverance

Thoughts

Without You

A Beautiful Tragedy

Going In Circles

More Of You

How I Feel

Can’t Show Just Anyone My Soul

Always Choose Love

Unmoved

Never Doubt My Love

Extremist

Forever Love

Failed Attempts

Here Is My Soul

No Good

Never

Foundations

Full Moon

I hope you felt something.

Mama

You have watched me feel—as you would say, a little too much.

There were nights when I could not sleep and I resulted to complete isolation—from everyone, even you— because of the intensity of the thoughts in my mind and the beats of my heart.

Though you couldn’t watch me destroy myself, as you say, I needed this. You thought that I was hurting myself, but the truth is that I had no choice. I needed to rewire everything in my mind. I needed to clear my heart so that I could feel even more than I ever have before. This was the only way that I knew how to rebuild and learn who I am as, not a human being—but, a soul.

You gave me hope, Mom.

Thank you for proving to me that unconditional love exists.

You have shown me the strongest way to feel.

You have given me life and the beauty of it all is that you didn’t just do this at birth. Somehow, you knew how to breathe power into my soul in the moments when I felt dead inside.

I love you more than life itself.

Feel

I feel everything a little too much. I mean it. I look at the smallest things and find meaning in them. I look at my past and present and try to connect everything. I am an over-analytical thinker. Most of the people around me would think that I look at things too much—too deeply. But, is that true? Or, do I just believe in my mind too much? Do I believe in the human too much? Do I do every single thing with my whole heart?

Even when I thought I was numb, I felt the pain more than ever. I don’t believe anyone when they say that they are numb, emotionally, because even then, I believe that they feel something unless they have the power to somehow program their minds to not feel. But even in that, still—they might feel their emptiness a little too much. They feel something—some more than others.

What scares me, sometimes, is the world that we live in. Everyone around me tries to act so cold—to the point that they try to convince everyone around them that their hearts are not beating. But, you are alive, right? You are human, right? Do not tell me that your heart is not beating. I have eyes that can see past your lies. Do not tell me about your walls—and if you decide to, at least, do not brag about them. I know all about walls—really well. I have spent seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years building them up so high that they would be able to reach the skyscrapers of New York City.

However, I have found that I have dehumanized myself. I have done everything that they thought I would do. And, that—well—that wasn’t me. I was always a rebel—especially when it came to two things—the mind and the heart. Both held my love. I did what they all least expected. I was underestimated. I was doubted. My abilities were doubted and so was the love that I held inside of me. I was quiet, but my insides were louder than they were capable of even understanding or even imagining—or both.

I felt every single thing—not only what was inside of me, but I deeply felt what was inside of them, too. There were times when I knew that they were broken, because I too was once there. I could literally feel their pain inside of me, even when they weren’t willing to admit that they were feeling anything. I felt their pain even when they were trying to put a mask on to cover their faces so that they could convince themselves that they couldn’t feel a thing.

I knew that they could all feel. They were screaming that they do not trust a soul, but I think that those words could not be further from the truth. They were saying certain words, but I heard different ones. I think that their insecurities were louder. What they were really saying was that they couldn’t trust themselves. They couldn’t trust their own minds because they couldn’t think for themselves. Instead, they followed the rules and the norms of the society that they lived in. Also, they couldn’t trust their hearts. Somewhere deep down, they knew that they beat for anything that seemed to be love, but was the furthest thing from it. And, if they were being honest with themselves, they would have seen it too. But, unfortunately, they weren’t. They still aren’t.

I watch them as if they are all robots or playing a role in a film—except this film doesn’t have a happy ending. They are refusing to open their minds and use their hearts—yelling it as if it is something they are all proud of. They think that they are harming everyone around them—but truly, they are self-destructing by the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years.

I have sat here and I have observed. I have isolated myself and I have watched all of their movements—very carefully—almost as if I was frozen in time. I fear for not