Parenting Strategies on the Go: Diverse Teaching Strategies for Parents Who Want Their Children to Learn No Matter Where or When

By Haven Caylor Ed. D.

In 2008, life blessed my husband, Sean, and me with two healthy babies. We have an engaging and magnetic tale of parenting with unique learning strategies on the go that all parents can benefit from; however, this book is far more than that. As a professional educator, I saw how both everyday events like planning food and clothing and planning special trips like a visit to Disney World were gateways to introducing children to life skills and to nurturing cognitive development through learning strategies. With minimal planning time, any parent can use these strategies to inspire their children to learn, and the best part is that the planning and the execution of the plans are fun and exciting.

Each chapter is devoted to exposing children to diverse learning strategies: strategies to elicit proper behavior in public events, strategies for choosing souvenirs as teaching tools, and strategies to journal your childrens precious life events. The concluding chapter is a strategy unit guide for learning during a special tripin this case, New York Cityand we got to test that guide in June 2013.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 10, 2015
• ISBN: 9781514424162

Haven Caylor Ed. D.

Haven Caylor has an educational doctorate in instructional leadership. He is a husband and the father of twins Carter and Ammon. He has taught for over twenty-six years from kindergarten to graduate school. His other degrees include education specialist in curriculum and instruction, a master of education in social studies education, and bachelor of arts degree in social studies education. He has been educating his children these past six years, and he is now their elementary schoolteacher. He has a blog dedicated to parenting called Parenting with Pride (www.parentingwithpride.net). Carter, Ammon, and Haven are featured in Pyle and Karinch’s Find Out Anything from Anyone, Anytime (Career 2014) for his parenting strategies in questioning children for information, and he is also featured in Scenic Scenes: A Collection of Chattanooga’s Arts and Literature (Over the Counter Productions 2013) with two short stories about parenting. Haven is also the author of Christmas Hawk (Xlibris 2015), a delightful story about a red-tailed hawk and the special role she plays during the yuletide season.

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Copyright © 2015 by Haven Caylor, Ed. D.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015918530

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5144-2418-6

                Softcover        978-1-5144-2417-9

                eBook             978-1-5144-2416-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 11/09/2015

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1 Parenting Strategies for Choosing Children’s Clothing on the Go

Chapter 2 Parenting Strategies to Elicit Appropriate Child Behavior at Public Events While on the Go

Chapter 3 Parenting Strategies for Journaling Life Events on the Go

Chapter 4 Parenting Strategies for Using Souvenirs as Teaching Tools after You’ve Been on the Go

Chapter 5 Parenting Strategies for Choosing Children’s Food on the Go

Chapter 6 Parenting Strategies in Rail and Air Travel on the Go

Chapter 7 Parenting Strategies during Ground Transportation on the Go

Chapter 8 Parenting Strategies to Stay in Touch with Friends Found while on the Go

Chapter 9 Parenting Strategies on the Go with Your Children Planning the Go

Chapter 10 Haven’s Parenting Strategy for an On-the-Go Multiple Intelligence Unit on New York City

Endnotes

Introduction

I cannot imagine educating my children without a plan of action: a strategy. Think about it. We have plans of action we create and execute around eating, traveling (work, school, vacations), watching television shows, sporting events, and so much more.

Sean, my husband, and I had strategies for daily living way before Carter and Ammon were born. We had to have a strategy as we planned our family. When we converted from adoption (another story for another time) to surrogacy, Sean and I had discussed that we had saved enough money to have two surrogates. With a plan of action that involved lots of praying, we had decided that we would (1) find the same egg-donor mother that we both agreed upon and divide her eggs and (2) I would fertilize half and he would fertilize half, and (3) we would acquire two surrogates so there would be no womb complications for our children.

They have the same anonymous egg-donor mother; but our son, Carter, was fertilized by Sean, and Ammon, our daughter, was fertilized by me. Carter and Ammon did, indeed, have their own surrogates. Carter was born in San Diego, California; and Ammon was born in Mission Viejo, California. Their births came six days apart. As a matter of fact, our first strategy as a family was how to get our family unit home from Southern California to Southeast Tennessee. It was a road trip that lasted five days and over two thousand miles.

This is not a parenting book driven by research, statistics, or empirical data; but in my parenting strategies, I do rely quite heavily on Bloom’s Taxonomy of Learning and Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences (p. xi). This work is not a traditional travel guide for families sharing tips on where to stay, what to see, or where to eat on family vacations. These are Haven’s strategies for parenting on the go and nothing more.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to invest time in your relationship. Yes, it takes time to strategize and execute plans for your children. They are your most precious assets, and whether you like it or not, they are a reflection of you both genetically and environmentally. Your children desire to be with you and emulate you. While your children are growing up, make the events in your family life more enjoyable by taking time to strategize your parenting skills so as to positively impact your precious children.

As you read this book, please remember that these are the Caylor-Brown’s plans of actions for on the go. I would be honored if you would try them, but read them, ponder them, and convert them to make them work for your own household.

Acknowledgments

I am honored to the Creator that He has blessed me with my children, Carter and Ammon. They are my inspiration for writing. Ammon and Carter, I love you to the moon and back, and please keep me in your hearts and minds when you no longer have your Daddy H.

My husband, Sean Brown, is my helpmate and my best friend. Sean, I love you, and I am so grateful to God that He gave me you to be the Daddy S to our children.

My mother, Georgie Caylor, is the epitome of a mother with unconditional love and self-sacrifice toward her children. I’ve never met a child my mother couldn’t win over. Mama, Ammon and Carter are so blessed to have you as their grandmother. Everyone who meets you is blessed.

When my children and I planned and executed some interpersonal interviews, I chose well. Jennie and Auris, you two ladies are so special! Thank you for allowing Carter and Ammon to interview you in the marvelous Manhattan-New York City. You were so patient and engaging. Cousin Judith, thank you for your interview regarding train transportation in and around New England. Ammon and Carter want to visit you soon as you start your new position in New York City. You are a precious member of our family, and we love you and appreciate you. My last New York friend to acknowledge is Marion who works at the American Museum of Natural History (AMNH). Marion, you are awesome, and thank you for all the wonderful times you have shared with us at the magnificent AMNH.

I cannot finish without including the first person who knew I wanted to write: my grandmother, Naomi (Nanny) Caylor. She passed over thirty years ago, and I still miss her. Other people who passed whom I love, miss dearly, and owe a debt of gratitude are my father, Oliver Haven Caylor (the best daddy to ever to walk the face of this planet), and my dear adopted grandmother, Remell Hall. Nanny, Daddy, and Remell, hugs and kisses go up to heaven to you all from me, Carter, and Ammon.

Howard Garnder’s Multiple Intelligences are used to bring out the best learning for everyone. We all learn differently.

Types of Intelligences and what they encompass:

Verbal-Linguistic-word smart

Logical-Mathematical- logic smart

Visual-Spatial- picture smart

Musical- music smart

Bodily-Kinesthetic- body smart

Interpersonal- people smart

Intrapersonal- self -smart

Naturalistic- nature smart

Bloom’s Taxonomy is classification of intellectual levels of learning. As you do your own research of Bloom’s Taxonomy, you will see that I am listing the levels with the pinnacle (Creativity) on top. As you draw out the levels Creativity comes on top of a pyramid and Remembering is the base of the pyramid.

The intellectual levels below are defined with verbs that exemplify the level:

Creativity: assemble, construct, create, design, develop, formulate, write

Evaluating: appraise, argue, defend, evaluate, judge, select, support, value,

Analyzing: appraise, compare, contrast, criticize, differentiate, discriminate, distinguish, examine, experiment, question, test

Applying: choose, demonstrate, dramatize, employ, illustrate, interpret, operate, schedule, sketch, solve, use

Understanding: classify, describe, discuss, explain, identify, locate, paraphrase recognize, report, select, translate

Remembering: define, duplicate, list, memorize, recall, repeat, reproduce, state

CHAPTER 1

Parenting Strategies for Choosing Children’s Clothing on the Go

I stood fuming in between Ammon’s and Carter’s armoires in their room. In my mind, I was saying, Haven, count to ten and take deep breaths. I knew it was a good strategy for myself to engage in so as to reduce my stress. Sean and I had already been teaching our children to count and breathe in relaxation exercises that would reduce their anxiety (Fraser, 1996), ¹ so I decided to practice what I was preaching. While I counted, I did a 360-degree turn. I scanned the nursery and recalled how the room had changed during the past eight years. My mind flashed immediately to the first day I saw the room. It was a huge room adjacent to the master’s bedroom, and it was perfect for a nursery. The windows were huge, and I knew the morning sunshine would illuminate and invigorate our future children as they celebrated each day anew. However, being designed as a sitting room, it had no closets. It was going to need something to store clothing. Was I being crazy or just using effective strategizing for my future? Sean and I knew we wanted children. We just didn’t know when. It wasn’t until four years later that this room would be housing bundles of love, but at least I was going to have a strategy for redesigning the room when the time came. If you are a couple who is just starting off together who have agreed that you want children in the future or a single person who knows you want to raise children even by yourself, begin your strategies to make your house a home immediately so your future children can feel comfortable and safe (McGowan, 2010). ²

Before our children were born, we had chosen furniture that could grow with them and wasn’t infantile in color or design. We chose convertible cribs that would also serve as full beds in the future, and since we did not have closets, we had to buy matching armoires so as to serve as clothing receptacles.

The cribs and armoires made it to the house only a week before the babies were born. I had spent the summer and autumn dispersing the sitting room’s furniture to other rooms of the house, cleaning it, priming the walls, and painting the walls (white lilac). I was very pleased with its transition, and I kept my handmade blueprint of where all the furniture was going to be placed on my nightstand.

After the furniture deliverers assembled the furniture and left the house, I stood in my children’s nursery, smiled, and fantasized about the years to come with sights and sounds of babies cooing, neat stacks of diapers and baby powder sitting on the shelves, books and souvenirs on bookshelves, and armoires filled with baby clothes.

I walked over to the armoires and admired their craftsmanship: double doors, double smaller drawers, a huge bottom drawer, and the bar to hang the cute baby outfits. Oh, I could just see them filled with my children’s clothes, and I sighed with sweet anticipation! However, this day it was different. I was sighing with disappointment.

I finished counting to ten; and I was, once again, standing looking at the armoires. My calming strategy was working. I felt much better. I kept gazing. Clothes were hanging out of drawers, lying on the floor, and draped across their beds. The day before, I had spent hours washing, folding, and putting up Ammon’s and Carter’s clothes. My children were not with me at the moment. They were at preschool. I was glad because it saved me from screaming at them.

The mess wasn’t all their fault. Everything had taken more time to get ready that morning. Carter and Ammon had slept late. It was drizzling rain. I had to coax our two dachshunds outside for their morning constitution because they did not want to take their constitution in the rain, dry off the dachshunds when they walked back in, feed and clothe children, and get myself ready. You parents have all had this kind of morning. While feeding the dogs (one dachshund is scared of the cats and has to be sequestered alone to eat), I called to Carter and Ammon to find and put on their jackets. While feeding Buddy, the skittish dachshund, I yelled, Your jackets are in your armoires! Find them and put them on! I then finished with Buddy, walked through the house, called the children to the car, and left.

The clothes were clean, and I didn’t want them to lie around another four hours, waiting for Ammon and Carter to return. With a quick pace, I began folding sweatshirts, socks, T-shirts, blue jeans, and shorts and placing them back into the armoires. It was an eclectic blend of children’s seasonal clothing especially for mid-April. It had been quite warm in the beginning of the month, but it turned cool again for about a week; so we had gone from winter clothes in March, heralded in the shorts and T-shirts for spring, then returned to our winter clothes those past few days. Because of the indecisive temperatures, it had been futile to store the winter clothing. I thought to myself, I wish it would hurry and be summertime, so I wouldn’t have to keep up with both winter and summer clothes at the same time. I love summertime clothes especially for children. They launder nicely, they are not bulky, and because of their lighter and thinner materials, they fold and store more nicely.

As I picked up a few sweaters at the foot of Ammon’s bed, I saw the backpack she uses for traveling or sometimes just for fun around the house. I thought, What the heck is this doing here? After quickly searching my memory for some type of hint to the backpack, I suddenly remembered a conversation I had heard between Ammon and Carter while I had prepared dinner the evening before. As I was setting the dinner table, Ammon exclaimed in a giddy voice, Carter, let’s go on a vacation! Where are we going, Ammon? Carter asked. New York! she professed. Our family goes to New York City about twice a year, so I wasn’t surprised. Evidently, as I finished preparing the food, Ammon had started packing her backpack. She had created a packing strategy.

After collecting my thoughts, I looked inside the backpack; and I found a sweater, some jeans, some socks, and some underwear. Sitting among the cluttered nursery, I laughed and thought, My children have become completely portable! With the good laugh, my shoulders loosened; my tenseness quickly faded; and I held one of Ammon’s sweaters close to my heart, kissed it, then returned it to its armoire. I then did the same to Carter’s remaining T-shirt.

In a few minutes, I had the clothes back in the armoires. Wow, at the evolution of packing we had transitioned through in a short five years! My parenting skills of strategizing what to pack for traveling had been inculcated into my children, and they could strategize and pack for themselves.

Ammon and Carter were born two thousand miles away from our home. From their creation, we knew they would be traveling the first week of their lives. After Sean and I traveled to California in June for a visit with our surrogates who gifted us with a 4D ultrasound of our babies, I returned home with a strategy to buy and pack clothes for their mid-autumn births. My clothing purchase and packing was going to be based on Carter and Ammon’s comfort and our lifestyle for those first two weeks of their lives (Hayhoe and Churgwen, 2009).³

Two months before Ammon and Carter were born, we were blessed with several baby showers. Sean and I had also spent time buying some newborn clothes in stores. Parents of newborns should plan newborn clothing with practicality. Parenting question: Do you like to save money? Would/did you buy baby clothes at yard sales? Neither Sean nor I was an avid yard sale shopper before we had children. Early in the morning on the Fourth of July 2008 (three months before Ammon and Carter were born), a good friend called Sean and me, The neighbor behind my house is having a yard sale with stacks of baby clothes. Even the used ones look brand-new. You cannot even tell that her children used them. The lucky thing is that her children are a boy and a girl. You might find some things for Carter and Ammon. I hung up the phone and said, Let’s check it out. I’m not sure what they look like. But we don’t have to buy them if they’re stained or aged! About an hour later, we were at the yard sale; and it only took a few minutes to realize that, yes, indeed, these were great-quality baby clothes that had been taken care of. They were close to immaculate. Six months later, I was disappointed that I did not find out the original owner’s strategy for keeping baby clothes clean!

The whole time I searched through the clothes, I reasoned in my mind, and I could see newborns in their daily routines. I had never lived with newborns, but I had helped to take care of them. No matter how many bibs a child has, food, spit up, and drool touch just about every article of a newborn’s clothes. Most of the articles I was looking at cost $1 or less, and I started a stack of boy’s clothes and girl’s clothes. Sean and I had plenty of money to buy couture baby clothes if we wanted, but being the practical people with frugal heritage that we are, we were not going to waste money on baby clothes that were (1) going to be grown out of in a matter of weeks and (2) going to inevitably have some stains. We left the yard sale with two thirty-nine-gallon garbage bags filled with baby clothes.

Between the yard-sale clothes and baby-shower clothes, Ammon and Carter would not need any clothes for at least three months. Two days after Labor Day 2008, I placed our unborn Carter’s and Ammon’s suitcases on the bed in our guest bedroom, and there they sat until the morning Carter was born. Then and there, I had a strategy to have everything packed that we could bring from Tennessee to California and ready to go at the drop of a hat.

My packing strategy began to unfold. I brought all our baby clothes into the same room, and I divided them by gender. However, before the baby clothes went into the suitcases, I placed enough newborn diapers to get us through two weeks. Ammon’s induction was set for November 6, and we estimated that she would be at least seven days old by the time we got home to our house. We already knew that our favorite group of hotels (Choice Hotels: Comfort, Quality, Clarion, etc.) would have laundry rooms so we could wash clothes during the pilgrimage home; but it wasn’t a guarantee that we would actually have the time to wash and dry clothes, but I did decide to take a chance. Instead of packing sleepers (no fancy clothes for traveling with newborns) for three to four times a day for ten days (that would be forty outfits), I cut it in half. Newborn bibs were a must, and I packed approximately twenty bibs each. I was so glad I had the strategy to pack ahead of time because all I had to do on Friday, October 31, 2008, when Carter arrived four days before his induction day, was zip the suitcases, place them in the vehicle, and drive to the airport.

Carter and Ammon were born, and for the drive home, the sleepers were perfect. With our newborns, there was absolutely no reason to have any outfits other than sleepers: no coats, no sweaters, no pants, and no dresses. They were going to be eating and sleeping in their car seats covered with blankets, and there was no need for cutesy baby clothes. Many sleepers got spit up on them as well as poop and pee. I was correct in my speculation that our hotels would have laundry rooms. Our third night into our journey, my sainted mother had the strategy to collect all our baby clothes, wash them, and dry them in an absolutely fabulous laundry room at a Quality Inn in Mesquite, Texas, outside of Dallas. It was timed perfectly because we didn’t need another wash load of clothes until three days later: Ammon and Carter’s first full day in our home in Tennessee.

After a five-day journey cross-country, we arrived home. It was Friday, November 14. As tired as we were, Sean and I still had our first day home chores strategized. After eating our dinner, bathing Carter and Ammon, and feeding them their last bottle of the evening, we placed them in their bassinets. In a zombie-like manner, I sat in our living room in a rocking chair, staring at some television show. I was so tired, but I suddenly noticed myself smiling. In my mind, I saw the previous months unfold before me and thought of the strategies I had