Thank you for visiting Childless not by Choice. Remember to help me get the word out by telling your friends about the show. Feel free to share with your social media followers! Well, my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.   Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)   https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah   Jordan Morgan   As I conducted the research for this episode, I got to thinking, you know, the decision to adopt is like just about any other decision that you make with forethought, common sense, and planning. I mean what to have for lunch does not take much planning at least for the most part unless you are planning a special lunch. Planning what route to take to get to a special event may take some research and then some planning, but it should be figured out quickly. Then decisions can become gradually more difficult. Where to live, should you buy or rent, date this person, marry that person. Those take much more research and planning. At least they should. But bringing a child into your life via adoption, how much thought should you put into that? Did you think about the child during the process, the child’s personality, the child’s racial or ethnic background; or were you thinking about getting the funding together to complete the adoption? Did you think about whether you would tell the child he or she was adopted if he or she was the same race as you? What if you ended up having a biological baby, would you still love the adopted child the same way? How would your family treat the adopted child? Did you think about behavioral issues as the child matured? Would you feel guilt over regretting that you adopted the child?   When you think about it, it’s much like getting engaged and planning a wedding right? Yeah, I know, I’ve never been married, but indulge me. Allow me to exercise common sense and the marriages I witness daily. If you are married, did you do any soul-searching, marriage counseling, therapy-seeking, talking to couples who have been married for a million years before you said, ‘I do’? Or did you jump in feet first because it was time? And in either case, soul-searching or jumping in feet first, did the marriage still have rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls, or was it smooth sailing? Hint: whether you did the pre-marital things or not, there will still be rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls. But hopefully, you married someone who is all in, like you. Are you all in for the adoption?   OK, I will let you think about those questions. back to adopting a child. (pause) Well, wait. (pause) Did you consider the child? (pause) Or did you just consider your feelings, the ones that emanate from within as well as the ones society put upon you?  You know, like I mentioned earlier, it is just time and since you can’t have one of your own, you will just adopt. I know, by now some of you are probably mad at me, calling me a hater because I did not have a child. You know, that one child, that little boy I always talk about. Yes, I thought I would have a little boy. I even had a name picked out for him. But I will tell you that I also attempted to adopt on two different occasions. So, you may think me a hater. But I will tell you I never considered any of the above questions I mentioned above.  I just felt it was time, husband or not, it was time to have a child—of my own or by adoption. Society and my thoughts we