Tyler’S Story

By Dr. Lillie Cooks

Children should not have to deal with life-threatening illnesses; they should be enjoying life. Tylers Story is a true story of how a fourteen-year-old teen and his family had to deal with a cancer diagnosis of osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer. How a mothers prayers and faith in God helped support her son and her family in his last days of life. Tyler was officially diagnosed on May 11, 2012, and this is his story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 26, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499063424

Dr. Lillie Cooks

Dr. Lillie Cooks earned a BS in sociology from the University of Southern Mississippi, Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and a master’s in counseling psychology from Mississippi State University, Meridian, Mississippi, and two master’s degrees and a doctorate in sacred studies from Christian Life School of Theology, Columbus, Georgia. Dr. Cooks, her husband Eddie, and their son, Kyle, live in Marion, Mississippi.

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Copyright © 2014 by Dr. Lillie Cooks.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014916026

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4990-6341-7

                Softcover        978-1-4990-6343-1

                eBook             978-1-4990-6342-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

Rev. date: 11/22/2014

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter I Waiting for the Official Diagnosis

Chapter II Official Diagnosis

Chapter III Life Changes

Chapter IV Consultation with Medical Staff to Discuss Tyler’s Treatment Plan

Chapter V Scans and Scan Results

Chapter VI The End of Life

Conclusion

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

T hanks to all the medical staff at Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital for providing the best medical care for Tyler. To the oncologist, other physicians, nursing staff on second floor, third floor, and in the PICU, you are the greatest. You were so compassionate to Tyler, and he lacked for nothing, including your personal attention. Eddie, Kyle and I thank you for being there for us as well. To the doctor who diagnosed Tyler, thank you for being there as a shoulder for me to cry on. Dr. Iyer, Tyler thought you could always make things right for him as far as getting what he needed. Social Services, thank you from one social worker to another. YOU ROCK. It was hard for me to sit back and let you take care of our needs. I was no longer in my role as a social worker but a client. Thank you; I learned how to trust on another level. To the housekeeper who cleaned our room during the day thank you for the cup of water. You saw that I was not taking care of myself. That Sunday morning as we were leaving the hospital, you let me cry on your shoulder. Actually, we cried together. Thank you! Pastor Earl, Donna Wheatley, Pastor Ray, and the youth, and North Park Church family, thank you for being there. Family, friends, co- workers, all who stood by our side, do not despair. God heard your prayers. All our prayers were answered, not the way we hoped perhaps, but Tyler was healed in Heaven. I think of the day Tyler’s celebration was held and all the people who came to support. We were there in one place for one cause, and at that particular time nothing else mattered. Do you think it is safe to say we were of one accord? It felt good, and God gave us a taste of what it would be like. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

INTRODUCTION

Psalm 23: 4, 25: 1

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, comfort me. To thee, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

O n August 4, 2012, Eddie and I were told that we needed to think about turning the ventilator down and allowing Tyler to die naturally. I asked the doctor how long Tyler had to live I was told maybe a week or less. I felt it would be less; I could hear what is referred to as the Death Rattle. This is a sound like gurgling or rattling made by the patient who is in the last days or hours of life. I remembered hearing this same sound when his grandmother died, only Tyler sounded so much louder. I asked the doctors to give Tyler medication to make sure he was not in pain. I also asked that he be put in a semi-conscious state because I did not want him to struggle to breathe and panic since he was still on the ventilator and also had a trachea if we had to let Tyler go, he had to be in a calm sleep state.

Eddie was coming to the hospital to relieve me so I could come home for a few days, and by now he had arrived at the hospital and was given an update. He did not deal with this new information very well. I had not told him what was going on until he arrived at the hospital. We talked together, and finally we decided to let the end of life come naturally for Tyler. We asked the medical staff to turn the ventilator down to a normal level gradually. Eddie and I knew that the cancer had spread all over Tyler’s body including some of his major organs. We also knew that if he was still alive it was only because the ventilator was breathing for him.

The hospital staff was so gracious as to let me stay in the room next to Tyler’s with the condition that if the room was needed during the night I would leave. I readily agreed; I just wanted to be near Tyler. Eddie and I had the opportunity to spend Tyler’s last night with him together. What a blessing that was for us. Together, we brought Tyler into this world, and now that God was ready to take Tyler to his heavenly home, together we said goodbye.

Eddie and I were in a state of disbelief as we ate our breakfast the next morning in the cafateria at Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital. We had just heard the report from the Pediatric Intensive Care Medical Staff after they had made their morning rounds.

The news was grim. Tyler was dying, and the ventilator was breathing for him because his body was no longer capable of doing it on its own. It was not natural for anyone to breathe like that. I asked the on duty nurse what her evaluation of his condition had been during the night and was told that she could hear shallow breathing. At that point, Eddie and I knew it was time to allow Tyler to leave us with dignity, so we told the doctor to start turning the ventilator down gradually every four hours. After all, I had told Tyler that whenever he was ready he could go be with God. He was ready.

One of the nurses from the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit came in the dining area and told us we were needed back on the unit. I knew something about Tyler’s condition must have changed. Eddie and I rushed back to find the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit Physician looking at his watch and listen to Tyler’s heart. The doctor informed us that when they turn the ventilator down, Tyler’s heart had stopped. Eddie and I stood there, eyes filled with tears but trying as hard as we could to keep from crying aloud; neither of us wanted the last thing Tyler would hear to be our sobbing. We had, after all, spent time telling him that we knew how tired he was and that he was not to worry about us when the time came.

Tyler was pronounced dead at 9:28 a.m. on August 5, 2012. God wrapped Tyler in his arms and took him to his heavenly home. Eddie and I could not understand how this could be happening. After all, he was only 14 years old with all of the potential that age implies. There were so many things he would never do. Tyler would never get his driver’s license, never go on his first date, never graduate from high school or get married. Oh God! How can this be happening? We considered the magnitude of what could have been, and many tears were shed that day as Eddie, Kyle and I experienced a hurt that I cannot begin to explain.

CHAPTER I

Waiting for the Official Diagnosis

Philippians 4:7

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus.

A s basketball season ended, Tyler was thrilled to receive Most Valuable Player for his basketball team. Tyler was an eighth grader who loved sports, and while he was good at basketball, his great passion was for football. Everyday Tyler talked about what it was going to be like to play football the upcoming school year at the high school. The 2011-2012 school year came to a close, and the long-awaited football practices finally started. Tyler could hardly contain his excitement as he told me what time and what days to pick him up from practice.

Frequently, I would came to the school before practice ended, and I sat in my vehicle and watch Tyler running down the practice field, never once letting the already oppressive heat of Mississippi’s muggy spring keep him from trying his best. As I watched him, I could not quite believe he was now fourteen, about to be a freshman in high school. How fast time passes! It seemed like only yesterday that he was a baby, and now he had become a teenager trying to find his independence.

The latter part of April, Tyler told me he had a lump on his knee. When I asked him how he had hurt it, Tyler said he was not sure. Maybe it had happened at football practice. Tyler he went on to say that his knee did not hurt. There was just this swelling. I told him that we would wait a few days, and if it did not improve then go to the doctor. Time passed Tyler never mentioned it again. I assumed everything was fine.

The first part of May, Tyler showed me his knee again, and it looked really swollen. I told Tyler since he was out of school early on Wednesday; we would go to the Doctor. Wednesday came, Eddie took Tyler to see his regular pediatrician, X-rays were taken of his leg, and Tyler went back to school the next day. None of us had any idea of how our lives were about to change.

On the morning of May 4, 2012, I received a call from the doctor’s office asking that I bring Tyler to his office. I checked him out of school as soon as I could and took him to the clinic where we were asked to wait in the doctor’s office. The doctor showed me one of the X-rays he had taken the day of Tyler’s visit, and I saw a dark area between Tyler’s knee and the lower part of his leg where the bones connect. The pediatrician said that he was not sure exactly what the image was showing, so he wanted to send us to see a specialist in Jackson immediately. We needed to be at the clinic at 1:00 p.m. for the appointment the pediatrician had made, and this was on a Friday some people leave work early for the weekend. Eddie, Tyler, and I drove to Jackson to see this new doctor to whom we had been referred. Once all the paperwork was complete and we got to see the specialist, we found ourselves again being referred to another physician. This latest doctor was not available immediately she was on her way out of town so an appointment for us to see her the upcoming week would be set.

On our way home, I began praying that this possible medical problem would be something minor, something curable, and something that would not require surgery. Tyler was looking forward to an upcoming trip for our church Youth to the International Youth Convention in July. He had never attended a Youth Convention and was excited about going. I was excited for him to have this opportunity, too. In addition to the trip, we definitely did not want an injury to ruin his opportunity to play football or basketball the upcoming school year. Even though I understand very little about sports as a parent I find myself interested whatever activities my children are involved in as I support them. I appreciated the importance of it because he did.

Tyler has an older sibling, Kyle, who is 26. When Tyler was only two or three, Tyler and I along with his father would go watch Kyle play football for the same high school Tyler would attend. During most of these games, Eddie and I would sit outside the gate so Tyler would have space to run and try to imitate what the team was doing, and when the game was over Tyler would walk right beside his brother trying to help carry his helmet or other gear. Tyler would ask me, Mama, are you going to come to the game when I get big enough to play? Of course my answer was yes, and when the time came for Tyler to play sports, I was always his biggest fan. Even if I did not understand all the fine points of the game, Kyle and Tyler could depend on Eddie and I to be at the games proudly supporting them.

John 16: 33

These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.

I was nervous about the upcoming appointment. I know I cannot worry and trust God at the same time, so I chose to trust God, knowing that God has a plan and a cure for whatever was going on with Tyler’s leg. I continued to pray, confident that God would work out the healing that Tyler needed. At that point, I did not want to tell anyone about what was going on. I could not stand the thought of having to talk about all the serious health possibilities we were facing. I kept telling myself that Tyler would be ok, and this was just a process we had to go through. This was a test of faith. When things are going well, we find it easy to trust God. When he shakes our world by touching someone we love, we still have to hold on to that trust. I was confident that God would work through the doctors and all those who would be involved in finding out what was wrong with Tyler.

May 6, 2012, Tyler did not attend church with me because leg was hurting and had been since the day before when Tyler had cut grass with Eddie’s part-time lawn service to get some extra money. I reminded Tyler that money is not everything, that with his current condition, he should have never gone, and that he should have let Eddie or me know if he was in pain afterwards. Tyler brushed it off, saying that it had not hurt badly until night. Tyler was never one for complaining. He just did what he felt he needed to do and what he was asked to do.

Monday morning finally came, and I started