Beyond Borders:: One Woman’S Journey of Courage, Passion and Inspiration

By Kimberly Weichel

Beyond Borders: One Womans Journey of Courage, Passion, and Inspiration is rich with remarkable stories of courage and triumph. The book will take you on an intriguing journey from exploring exotic areas in Africa to working for reconciliation in apartheid South Africa, to being a citizen diplomat during the Cold War, to touching stories of motherhood and adopting an older child. As the author unpeels the layers that constitute her life of love and lessons, she reveals the wisdom that composes a life well lived.

Weaving insightful stories filled with love, joy, grief, adventure, challenge, spirituality, and a search to find her own voice, the author spotlights rich cross-cultural experiences, personal stories of love and family, her work as a passionate advocate of supporting and advancing women, and being a change agent during remarkable times in history. One chapter highlights traveling the path of the Peace Maker, a Native American leader who crafted the Iroquois Great Law of Peace, which influenced our US Constitution and the founding of the womens movement.

At a time when media attention focuses on increasing violence and crime, we are hungry for successes and solutions. Beyond Borders provides hope when hope is eagerly needed. It provides personal examples of moving from becoming overwhelmed to stepping forward and speaking up. Whether you are beginning a career or a wise elder, Beyond Borders will inspire and enrich.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 22, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524526450

Kimberly Weichel

Kimberly Weichel is a thought leader, social entrepreneur, citizen diplomat, educator and nonprofit leader who has worked on the forefront of building bridges between cultures and peoples for over thirty years. She is a passionate champion of women’s and girl’s agency, empowerment, and leadership, and has led projects, organizations and trainings fostering women’s leadership for decades. She and her husband teach courses at the Lifelong Learning Institute at American University. She has received numerous awards and fellowships, including a Rotary Peace Fellowship. Kim’s broad global experience and cross-cultural background gives her a unique perspective, benefiting many communities through her work as a trainer, mentor, radio producer, speaker, and adviser to NGOs. She has led international programs, consulted with UN and other international agencies, and served on numerous boards. Kim is a notable author and her other books have had international appeal: Our Voices Matter: Wisdom, Hope and Action for Our Time (Xlibris); Beyond Borders: One Woman’s Journey of Courage, Passion and Inspiration (Xlibris); Inside Crossroads (McGraw-Hill); The Future of the Pacific Rim (Praeger); and Healing the Heart of the World featured her chapter “The Feminine Front Line” (Elite). www.kimweichel.org

Book preview

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapters

1) My Life in a Nutshell

A) Important Early Influences and Experiences

2) Growing Up

3) Becoming an Exchange Student

4) Life Down Under

5) A Trip of a Lifetime

B) Taking a Stand: The Power of Citizen Engagement

6) Working against Apartheid

7) Citizen Diplomacy

8) Using Media to Tell Positive Stories: A Stand for Media Accountability

9) Journey of the Peacemaker

10) The Wisdom and Courage of Women

11) From Toronto and California to Washington DC: Being a Catalyst at the Center of Power

C) Important Personal Experiences That Shaped Me

12) Dark Night of the Soul

13) Motherhood

14) Adopting an Older Child

15) My Spiritual Journey

16) Overcoming Challenges

D) Lessons along the Road of Life

Playing small doesn’t serve the world—as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

—Marianne Williamson

Introduction

I ’ve always seen my life as a work in progress, paint still drying, filled with color. Life is filled with choices, some better than others. Having many choices is more satisfying than being limited to a safe, monochrome journey that only presumes more of the same. How our lives unfold, twist, and turn is the magic and essence of who we become. I learned early in life that you can’t really set a life plan into place and follow it upward on a straight, vertical journey like a tall never-ending stairwell. Life is not linear. Events happen when you least expect it, and we do our best to improvise as we go. We’re shaped not only by our choices, circumstances, events, and people around us but also by the choices of others. This is how life unfolds. Life’s detours are often what make it so unpredictable yet full of promise.

We each will have highs and lows, joys and disappointments, which together create the richness of our lives. While none of us is exempted from problems, it’s not the circumstance itself but rather our reaction to it, what we learn from it, and how we use it that shapes us. We often learn more from the challenges we’ve faced and overcome than we do from situations that go as planned. I’ve learned to enjoy the journey, whatever it might be, since it too will pass.

The highlights in our lives—getting married, birthing children, raising a family, sharing with others, exploring other places, finding work that fulfills us—shape us and lead us to make our own mark in the world. For me, life’s ordinary experiences can also become extraordinary ones, depending on some core attributes—by finding meaning in what we do, having the courage to take risks, remaining resilient and adapting to whatever happens, having faith in the unknown, learning from our mistakes, and appreciating what we have. They all become the essence of who we are as we gain our wings and courage to fly.

My quest for self-discovery and finding my voice and purpose led me to immerse myself in other cultures, speak out against injustice, deepen my spirituality, and ultimately become actively engaged in bridging differences to build understanding. I learned that our similarities are far greater than our differences. We are all global citizens sharing this beautiful earth together, and each of us is an integral part of the whole web of life.

My early experiences infused in me a curiosity to connect and learn from others and a passion to build collaboration. The beauty of nature and rich diversity of other cultures deeply moved me, as did my experiences of injustice, unfairness, and devastating effects of war. I felt called and perhaps compelled to do whatever I could to help build a more peaceful and equal society, whether working against the apartheid regime in South Africa, reintegrating East Germans into transit camps in Germany, building understanding in the citizen diplomacy movement during the cold war with the Soviet Union, or learning from the teachings of the Peacemaker who brought peace to the warring Iroquois tribes through the Great Law of Peace. Each deeply imprinted on me the impact of hatred and violence and the necessity of creating peaceful alternatives and building bridges of understanding.

I’ve learned that creating real peace starts within each of us and is foundational for creating a sense of well-being and for realizing our potential. We all have the potential for greatness as well as for evil. Where we end up on that spectrum depends on what we stand for and the choices we make.

My parents were great role models for doing what you love and encouraged me to dream big. They inspired me to find my purpose and to stand up for my beliefs. They taught me that we are each more powerful than we think and our voices and actions do make a difference. I learned that connecting to a cause larger than ourselves is one of the surest ways toward living a meaningful life and that having positive role models and a mentor helps us expand the possibilities of who we can become.

I have always felt a sense of awe, wonder, and reverence in the out of doors and a connection with a universal spirit I call God, though many use different names. My spiritual journey has helped guide my life and grounded me with personal values that are closely aligned with the qualities of peacebuilding, with feminine values, and with being a global citizen. These intersect in important ways: building an environment in which people can prosper, transforming frustration into constructive action, having a positive outlook, thinking beyond self, seeing possibilities, and valuing life. These attributes are foundational for me and guide my work.

I know that many women carry this feminine wisdom and ability to be peacebuilders. This awareness and experience are recurring themes in my work with women who are on the frontline of change in many societies, leading grassroots efforts, organizing communities, and modeling the kind of feminine power that is so needed today. Their pioneering spirit and courage inspire many of us to find the courage to lead and the optimism to share our passion. We need more wise women leading companies and governments with feminine leadership that emphasizes partnership, collaboration, generosity, long-term thinking, sensitivity, and use of power for purpose. These are core values of building peace and well-being.

If you saw my life on a résumé, you would see many job titles. If you saw my life on a world map, you’d see I’m a global citizen. If you saw me with my family shopping, you’d see me as a wife and mother. Yet none alone would show the complexity and joy of my life’s journey or the wisdom I’ve acquired from all I’ve experienced or my wonder in what lies ahead.

I began this book for my family and friends but hope it offers some insight and inspiration for others. I love to mentor motivated young women who are in the midst of crafting their careers, and I hope this book is of value to see what is possible when charting a life. I love to share with women in their middle years who are often juggling family and career, engaging in their community, speaking out, helping others, changing the world. I value spending time with women of a certain age who are winding down careers, whose adult children have moved on, who are charting new territory and using their time and wisdom to pursue a passion or calling. And I appreciate men who support women, also balancing work and family. This book is for you. I share my life’s highlights with you that hopefully will inspire you to share your story.

Chapter 1

My Life in a Nutshell

You are the storyteller of your own life, and you can create the legend or not.

—Isabel Allende

W e as women finally have an expanding opportunity to change the world. I have long been a passionate advocate and champion for engaging and empowering women and girls, as I’ve known that so many women carry the wisdom and ability to be peacebuilders. As CEO of Peace X Peace, I’ve seen women leading grassroots efforts, organizing communities, and modeling the kind of feminine leadership that is so needed today. I feel the qualities that women share are critical for the well-being and survival of our planet, which is what motivates me to do this work.

So how did I get here? It’s been a long, interesting, and circuitous journey. I want to begin by acknowledging my mother, father, aunts, grandmothers, and other relatives who opened doors and paved the way for me to lead a life filled with opportunity. We owe our ancestors a tremendous debt of gratitude.

I grew up in northern California in a creative and loving family. I watched my parents (Paul and Fay Reiter) live their passion: my mom by singing and playing piano in restaurants and in theater and my father by designing unique homes, buildings, and living spaces as an architect. They modeled how to do what you loved. My parents always encouraged me to go for my dreams, but first, get a good education. Ever since I was young, I was fascinated in all things international. I dreamed about traveling and loved to meet people from other cultures. In high school, I wanted to become an exchange student, so I applied and was accepted to go to Germany for a year. I had a great year in Germany with a wonderful German family with whom I am still close. The world opened up to me in many ways, and I knew that this was just the beginning of what I wanted to explore.

While I was in Germany, my father was offered a unique opportunity by a leading architectural firm in Sydney, Australia, to redesign large quarry sites into residential and commercial areas. My family moved there, and I joined them after my exchange year. Shortly after arriving, I met an American guy playing tennis, Carl Weichel, who would become my husband. I studied at the University of New South Wales for a year, put myself through college by working at the Sydney Opera House, and married Carl on March 22, 1974. We’ve now been married forty-two years.

Carl and his roommate Tom had been planning a journey through East and Southern Africa, and I joined them. We departed Sydney by ship on April 30, arriving in Durban, South Africa, seventeen days later. Carl, Tom, Tom’s girlfriend Marianne, and I bought a VW camper van, registered it in Swaziland (an African state inside South Africa), and started our journey north into black Africa. We traveled for six months through nine countries, covering eleven thousand miles. It was an extraordinary journey on many levels.

We ended up in Cape Town, South Africa, in late 1974, ready to settle down and buy our first home. We had met many South Africans living in Australia and had been intrigued to explore that country, particularly Cape Town that is considered one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Carl started working in an advertising agency; and I enrolled at the University of Cape Town, studying sociology, anthropology, and political science. What an opportunity to study anthropology in the cradle of civilization! Since this was during the oppressive apartheid era, I immediately became involved in human rights, race relations, and peacebuilding work. I was appalled the more I saw how apartheid unjustly impacted millions of people and ended up directing a national program working to build a post-apartheid society. This grassroots work was foundational to my future. Yet during this time, very sadly, my mother died in 1976, and I flew home to San Francisco to spend her last few days with her. She had been the rock of my world.

After five years, an opportunity in Carl’s marketing field took us back to North America to Toronto, Canada. After buying a home and readjusting to North American life, I worked on projects with Ontario government agencies and learned radio production at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. While interesting, the long cold winters of Canada didn’t appeal; so when I received a call to go to Washington DC and become part of a project that would take me back to South Africa, I jumped at it. Someone at the Agency for International Development (USAID), the foreign aid arm of the US government, asked if I would be interested and able to participate on the first USAID project to South Africa as the area human resources specialist. With Carl’s blessing, I moved temporarily to Washington DC and completed the project in several months. I was wined and dined by numerous consulting firms who wanted to learn more before the project came out for competitive bidding, and I had several consulting offers. I knew intuitively I needed to stay given the breadth of opportunity, so Carl and I became a commuting couple. I had no idea then that my sojourn in DC would extend over three years.

In 1985 Carl wanted to move from Toronto to my home area of San Francisco. He moved late in the spring, and I was able to join him after completing a Peace Corps contract in August 1985. We bought a home in Tiburon, just north of San Francisco, right across from the beautiful San Francisco Bay. After spending a few months unpacking and decorating our home and reconnecting with family and friends there, I was invited on a citizen diplomacy trip to the former Soviet Union (now Russia and independent states). My first trip there in April 1986 was extraordinary and inspired me to get more actively involved, as I could see the power in citizens meeting citizens to build bridges of understanding between our countries during the dangerous cold war period. Over ten years, I worked with a remarkable organization called the Center for Citizen Initiatives and led four trips to Russia, directed large-scale economic development projects, organized and led training programs, and produced training videos for both American and Russian participants.

On December 31, 1992, I became a mother and had our son, Julian, at the age of forty-one. I wondered why I had waited so long. Given my age, I was not able to have a second child, so we decided to adopt a girl named Ariel whom we met through our church. Ariel was twelve when we adopted her, four years older than Julian. I loved being a mom and was closely involved with my kids’ lives, learning so much from the journey. Julian is now twenty-three, graduating in 2015 with an entrepreneurship degree from the University of North Carolina and now working in real estate in Washington DC. Ariel is twenty-eight, married, and lives in California working with kids with special needs.

In 1997 my interests led me to an organization called the Center for Spiritual Democracy. The center focused on exploring the principles of a spiritual democracy through learning from the wisdom of the Iroquois Great Law of Peace. The Great Law was the constitution of the Six Nations Iroquois Confederacy that greatly influenced our US Constitution, the United Nations, and the women’s movement. We met and traveled with a well-known Native American chief who taught us about the Great Law, the role of clan mothers, and the Peacemaker who brought peace to the warring Iroquois nations. In my own growing quest, it was invaluable to learn about a society based on peaceful coexistence as well as a constitution that outlined the process and structure for peace and harmony.

As much as I loved my work in the San Francisco area,