Lead Like a Queen: A Young Woman’s Guide to Audacious Living

By Sarah Kenny

Too many young women feel confused, anxious, uncomfortable in their skin, and worried about the future. They’re struggling to figure out who they are, what they want in life, and how to feel happier and more fulfilled along the way. They’re meant for something bold and audacious in their lifetimes, but fear and paralysis keep stifling their voices and potential.
But they’re not alone…and author Sarah Kenny knows why and what to do about it. Based on decades of experience developing women leaders and her own turbulent teens and twenties, she wrote this book to save countless girls the headache and heartache that kept her stuck and miserable for way too long.
Lead Like a Queen is an inspirational self-help guide for any young woman who is sick of suffering from anxiety, overwhelm, and doubt, and eager to find more happiness, purpose, and fulfillment much earlier in life. Sharing heartfelt (and hard-earned) advice, practical strategies, and expertise gained from the author’s own healing journey, this book teaches readers how to break through the fear and angst that is holding them back from reaching their full potential and unleashing their power. Most importantly, it inspires young women to become autonomous, audacious Queens: the bold leaders and change agents our world desperately needs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hybrid Global Publishing
• Release date: Sep 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9781957013855

Book preview

Hello, Queen. I’m so glad you’re here.

If you’ve found your way to this book, it’s likely because you feel like so many young women these days: confused, anxious, uncomfortable in your skin, doubtful, and worried about your future. You know you have so much potential, and you’re eager to make your mark and forge a path for yourself in this wild and crazy world, but you feel lost and are struggling to figure out who you are, what you want your life to look like, and how to feel happier and more fulfilled along the way.

If you’re like me, you know deep in your bones that you’re meant for something big and bold and beautiful in your lifetime. Something audacious. Possibly something even radical or revolutionary.

Trust me, you’re not alone.

I know this because I’m you, and you’re me. Or I was you in my teens and 20s. I just happen to be farther along on my journey—one that has been fraught with pain and uncertainty, anxiety-riddled twists and turns, unexpected revelations, and tons of life lessons that, in hindsight, I wish I’d learned sooner, which is exactly why I’m writing this book. To save you some of the hassle, headache, and heartache I’ve experienced that kept me stuck, miserable, and powerless for way too long…

* * *

Ok, let’s back up.

I bet you’re wondering, Who the heck is this lady?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I’m Sarah, a mission-driven feminist and leadership coach who is dedicated to empowering young women and girls to unleash their potential for the global good. As someone who has spent many years working through issues like developmental trauma, depression, anxiety, insomnia, bulimia, and disordered eating, I also consider myself a heart-centered healer, using the wisdom I’ve gained from my struggles to guide and support others.

Sadly, many people suffer from mental health challenges and most of us will experience some degree of trauma throughout our lives. Yet, current research shows that young women and girls, in particular, are suffering from alarming rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, and suicide.¹ While some of this is linked to genetics, upbringing, and unique life experiences (which can be compounded by poverty, racism, and systemic discrimination), I believe that much of women’s and girls’ suffering stems from oppressive, outdated gender norms and the intense societal pressure we feel to fit in, to stay small and quiet, and to follow the right path for the sake of happiness and success. (You’ll see in later chapters why I use quotations here.)

My experiences are many women’s experiences. It might be yours right now. So, that’s why we’re here, sweet pea. Because despite my struggles, I’ve spent the last 15-plus years learning how to transform my pain into my power, my anxiety into action, my depression into determination, and my self-loathing into self-love.

It’s taken countless hours of therapy, coaching, and self-help to get here, but it’s been worth the effort to find a better way of living. I’ve learned a ton about the human condition, how our brains and emotions work, and how to be a leader, about the myths and limiting beliefs that hold us back from reaching our potential, about the mind drama that keeps us stuck in shame spirals and indecision, and about how to achieve goals despite our circumstances, no matter how crappy they might be.

But perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned how to become a queen—the reigning sovereign of my own life, which is what I believe the world desperately needs right now: an army of queens steering this ship in a better direction. (Based on our global state of affairs, I think it’s safe to say that the path we’re currently on is terrifying, unstainable, and headed toward hell in a handbasket.) With more autonomous, audacious women at the helm, we’re guaranteed more peace, justice, and balance, and I know in my heart of hearts that queens will get us there.

So, what is a queen? Let me tell you:

•She knows who she is and what she wants.

•She is committed to achieving her life’s vision and mission.

•She is not afraid of failure and is willing to take risks to achieve her dreams.

•She is unapologetically ambitious, bold, and brave.

•She is kind and compassionate while being honest and direct.

•She is openhearted and willing to experience the full range of human emotions, as painful as they may be.

•She transforms her suffering into solutions and is the source of her own power.

•She is the author of her own story and writer of her own rules.

•She takes radical responsibility for her well-being, her choices, and how she wants to experience life, on her terms.

•She is disciplined, committed, and the master of her own emotional welfare and state of being.

•She lives and leads according to her values, principles, and ideals, serving as a role model and guiding light that others are drawn to follow.

•She is a visionary with a higher calling and is committed to sharing her gifts with the world for the betterment of humanity.

I believe—in fact, I know—that there is a queen inside every woman and girl. Even in you. Especially in you. And the sooner you can break through the anxiety and angst holding you back from discovering, embodying, and wielding your power and wisdom, the sooner you’ll lead a calmer, more meaningful, and purposeful life. This book is designed to help you do just that.

In particular, I’ll cover seven main issues that are barriers to our Queendom. (These also happen to be ones I’ve personally struggled with that affect women and girls the most.) We’ll dissect where these issues come from (spoiler alert: it’s usually the patriarchy), how they negatively impact you, and things you can start doing now, today to build confidence, discover your passions, and start leading a bold, beautiful, audacious life.

So, let’s dive in, shall we?

CHAPTER 1

Sharp Edges

The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the lie that it’s supposed to be.

— Glennon Doyle

Americans are obsessed with happiness. So much so that US consumers spend almost $450 billion a year on wellness products and services.² Even the pursuit of happiness is written into our constitution as an inalienable right. Just think about our social media feeds; most of our posts are designed to prove to others how amazing our lives are. They practically scream, Look how happy I am! I’m doing so great!

At the same time, levels of anxiety, depression, obesity, and addiction in the US continue to rise.³ The state of teen girls’ mental health is particularly alarming. According to a 2023 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, teen girls are experiencing record-high levels of violence, sadness, and suicide risk, and almost 60 percent of girls feel persistently hopeless.⁴

Statistically speaking—despite the time, money, and energy we spend toward trying to feel good—we’re not doin’ that great.

So, what is going on with us and why am I starting this book talking about our culture’s obsession with happiness? It’s because I believe our desperate pursuit of it is making us miserable, and how we think about happiness causes lots of confusion and suffering.

Worse still, our desire to feel happy all the time also keeps us from being willing and able to experience the full range of human emotions (the good, bad, and the ugly), which is where our true power and potential lie. And to tap into that potential— your potential—we need to challenge what we believe and how we relate to our emotions in general.

So, let’s break down some of those