Whenever I’ve been told, ‘You look great for your age!’, I’ve always taken it as a compliment – the spirit in which intended. But with my 40th birthday just days away, as with all milestone birthdays, I’ve been plunged into a period of self-reflection. And, for the first time, I have begun to interrogate this seemingly innocuous phrase. I now realise that what it actually means is that I don’t look my age at all; I look younger. But why is this a compliment?
The concept of ‘ageing gracefully’ was introduced to me in childhood, though I had very little understanding of what ‘graceful ageing’ looked like in practice. What I notice now, however, is that each time the phrase ‘graceful ageing’ is mentioned, it is in relation to a woman (how often have we heard a man described as ageing gracefully?). The emphasis appears to be on natural beauty – the messaging being that a woman is allowed her age. It is no surprise then that, for the most part, the beauty industry has us worshipping at the altar of youth. By the time we have transitioned from girlhood to womanhood, popular culture has us fully versed on the war waged against ageing, with brands borrowing from the lexical field of battle to promote their lotions and potions, which claim to ‘fight’, ‘combat’, ‘banish’, and even ‘erase’ visible signs of ageing, to rid ourselves of this enemy that comes to us in the form of wrinkles and fine lines.
