The Female Side of God

By Charlotte Williams

Praise for The Female Side of God
Once you begin reading this book, you will not be able to put it down. But let me caution you not to read this book too quickly. You will want to take some time to savor the wisdom and healing that flow from these pages. What you are about to read will challenge you, disturb you, and in some cases, infuriate you. But ultimately, you will be transformed by the power of Gods love and the possibilities it opens for those who put their trust in Him. As you read, you will recognize yourself, your mother, sister, or best friend in this book, and realize that there is a tender healing for you as well. Joyce N. Hill, Editor

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 25, 2010
• ISBN: 9781465331885

Charlotte Williams

After studying philosophy in college, Charlotte Williams went on to work as an arts journalist, writing for newspapers and magazines, and making documentaries for the BBC. More recently, she also worked in radio drama, writing original plays and adaptations. Williams died in 2014 at the age of fifty-nine.

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Copyright © 2010 by Charlotte Williams.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

"Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group."

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

The term Bitter Root Judgment is taken from John Loren & Paula Sandford, Transforming the Inner Man (Lake Mary, FL: Charisma House, 207), Used by permission.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

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Contents

Introduction

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Epilogue

Dedication

I honor God and my Savior Christ Jesus who gave me the strength and courage to write this book.

This book is dedicated to my two Mothers. To Mama who while raising me gave me the precious and powerful gift of FORGIVENESS and Moo who gave me life and then stayed on her knees until she prayed me into the Kingdom of God. God knew I needed

the both of you to make it. Thank You!

Special thanks to Joyce Shelly for stretching me; helping me to give my all, encouraging me and sticking with me throughout this

often painful process.

Introduction

This book is dedicated to women who have doubted their importance to God and to His kingdom in the earth. To women who have pointed fingers at Eve with disgust or blame.

This book is dedicated to every woman who has ever despised their femininity or thought it to be the root cause of her abuse or pain. To every woman who has thought that submission is a curse because of Eve’s sin. To every woman who has had trouble forgiving and forgetting the pain and devastation of past hurts such as neglect, child molestation, emotional, physical, and or sexual abuse.

This book is dedicated to women everywhere who suffer from self hatred and self doubt. To women everywhere who have low self-esteem and fear being rejected.

This book is dedicated to Every Woman Everywhere whose lives have been sabotaged by Satan to hide the truth of who we are and our place in God!

God loved and cherished us so much that He chose our gender to bring forth His Son into the world. God does not improvise as things go along. This was the plan He had preordained and predestined from the foundation of the world. He truly is the Master with Thee Master Plan.

Prologue

Ezekiel 16:4-14 (The Message Bible)

4-5 "On the day you were born your umbilical cord was not cut, you weren’t bathed and cleaned up, you weren’t rubbed with salt, you weren’t wrapped in a baby blanket. No one cared a fig for you. No one did one thing to care for you tenderly in these ways. You were thrown out into a vacant lot and left there, dirty and unwashed—a newborn nobody wanted.

A large number of children suffer from childhood trauma. They are exposed to horrific acts of abuse. Many people ask, How could a loving God allow so many terrible things happen to innocent people? God has given mankind the ability to choose between good and evil. He has also given mankind the freedom to make those choices. When man chooses evil, innocent people suffer.

6-7 ‘And then I came by. I saw you all miserable and bloody. Yes, I said to you, lying there helpless and filthy, Live! Grow up like a plant in the field!" And you did. You grew up. You grew tall and matured as a woman, full-breasted, with flowing hair. But you were naked and vulnerable, fragile and exposed.

God sees the results of the trauma; pain, low self esteem, and your inability to make good choices. He does not turn his back as we suppose. He keeps an eye on us. He speaks life to us in spite of the circumstances. The word of life that He speaks will sustain us even though sometimes the circumstances have not changed. But yet He gives us a will to live.

8-14 "‘I came by again and saw you, saw that you were ready for love and a lover. I took care of you, dressed you and protected you. I promised you my love and entered the covenant of marriage with you. I, God, the Master, gave my word. You became mine. I gave you a good bath, washing off all that old blood, and anointed you with aromatic oils. I dressed you in a colorful gown and put leather sandals on your feet. I gave you linen blouses and a fashionable wardrobe of expensive clothing. I adorned you with jewelry: I placed bracelets on your wrists, fitted you out with a necklace, emerald rings, sapphire earrings, and a diamond tiara. You were provided with everything precious and beautiful: with exquisite clothes and elegant food, garnished with honey and oil. You were absolutely stunning. You were a queen! You became world-famous, a legendary beauty brought to perfection by my adornments. Decree of God, the Master.

Again, He continues to watch over us. When the time is right He revisits us. This time it is a rescue mission. This time it is to lift us out of the mediocre life we’ve settled for. This time it is to restore us to the full measure of splendor that He designed for us before the foundation of the world. The splendor He designed for us before the wickedness of evil people turned our course. Be careful to look for Him. Don’t allow yourselves to be blinded by the circumstances. He has promised to come, to see, to deliver, and restore. Watch for Him! Open the ears of your heart to Him. Don’t be so hard hearted that you reject the good people He sends to you. Look for the people God has strategically placed in position to rescue you. Don’t shut them out; God uses people.

Why The Female Side of God?

I certainly do not believe that God has a gender; I do believe the Biblical account of man’s creation. Genesis 1:27-28 Message Bible. God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature . . . God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! I also believe that God established different roles for men and women as well as different characteristics. For example He gave woman the capacity to carry and bear children. Along with that He designed her to be naturally as well as physically nurturing and inherently sensitive. God gave men the physical capacity for strength and charged them with hard labor. He also gave them the responsibility to protect and lead the family. God’s desire was for mankind to show forth His glory in the earth. All through the Bible we have many examples of God’s strength. All too often to the unchurched His strength is perceived as wrath and damnation. However, God also showed a gentle side; another part of His image.

Women have a tendency to be gentle and tender hearted. In the Bible we see that God showed his ability to be gentle and tendered hearted many times when His people had sinned against Him. Instead of using His strength to destroy them He gently gathered them to Himself and forgave them. With a tender hand He cared for His people. How many times do we see mothers continue to hold out in the worst situations hoping and praying for the best; ready to welcome wayward children into open arms just like God.

The wicked acts of mankind very often becomes snares and obstructions early in the lives of boys and girls to keep them from developing into the men and women that God has destined for them to be. God’s plan is for harmonious, confident, and enduring relationships. Through various scenarios a girls’ ability to build trust in men is often destroyed. Sometimes this is accomplished by absent fathers, abusive fathers or poor father figures. There are other times when for some reason a girls view is distorted and a father or father figure who is not so bad appears to be unloving and unkind. Whatever the case may be; God is able to restore what Satan has stolen.

This book is about some of the roadblocks and traps that Satan sets for women. It shows his attempts to divert Women from their destiny. Lastly and most importantly it shows how the power of God will unequivocally spoil Satan’s plan and bring magnificent victory to all who put their trust in Him.

Isaiah 40:9-11 The Message Bible (MSG)

Climb a high mountain, Zion. You’re the preacher of good news. Raise your voice. Make it good and loud, Jerusalem. You’re the preacher of good news. Speak loud and clear. Don’t be timid! Tell the cities of Judah, Look! Your God! Look at him! God, the Master, comes in power, ready to go into action. He is going to pay back his enemies and reward those who have loved him.

Like a shepherd, he will care for his flock, gathering the lambs in his arms, hugging them as he carries them, leading the nursing ewes to good pasture.

Chapter 1

A Legacy of Sin… But a Promise of Hope

The Lord is slow to anger and rich in unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. Even so He does not leave sin unpunished, but he punishes the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generations. Numbers 14:18 NLT

Then Jesus said, "Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NLT

1954

Lil dried her tears and went down the hall to the bathroom. After washing her face and combing her hair she began her journey. Even though she was only going across the street to her parents’ home, it felt like she was setting out for a twenty mile marathon. Her feet felt like lead and seemed heavier with each step she made. Her mother was going to hit the roof. She didn’t handle bad news very well. Lil knew she could not put it off any longer if she was going to tell her that day. Her father would be home in a few hours; she needed to give her mother enough time to deal with it and collect herself before she had to face her husband. Lil anticipated her predictable response and figured she would not share the news with him. By the time she got to their yard she was almost choking for air; her tongue felt like it had been numbed and swollen ten times its’ original size. Lil knocked on the back door and let herself in. As she stepped into the room she braced herself and just blurted it out. Mama, I’m pregnant. Bea was sitting at the kitchen table cutting up vegetables for that night’s stew. She looked as if someone had taken the knife from her hand and plunged it into her heart. Lil! I can’t believe you let this happen again. Here you are thirty years old, two children, no husband, and pregnant again! This is going to kill your father. Who else have you told? No one, except Mae she replied. You better not tell anyone else. Her mother had very quickly decided Lil could not keep the baby and wanted to know how many people knew. Your chances of ever getting a husband will be gone if you have another child. You don’t want to try to raise them boys without a man. Pretty soon they’ll be too big for you to handle alone. You don’t have much time; it’s hard to find a man who will take on a woman who has boys, let alone big boys. Her mother went into her lecture about Lil being the oldest girl and the poor example she had set. Lil had heard it all before many times. After her mother calmed down Lil made some lame excuse for needing to get home and dragged herself back across the street.

Mae, I told mama I’m pregnant. Lil said. Oh Lil, what did she say? Is she going to make you give your baby away like she did me? asked Mae. I don’t know, I think so. Tears began to swell in Lil’s eyes. Mae saw the tears and quickly embraced her remembering when she found herself in the same situation. Their mother had told her practically the same thing. Mae’s daughter was two years old and when she found herself pregnant with her second child. Her mother told her of the hard times she would have trying to raise two children without a husband and also the difficulty of finding someone who would marry her with a ready made family. You can’t do no banking; buy a house or anything without a man. Mama had said. During that time it was difficult for single women to conduct business. Some women had brothers who could take care of those kinds of things for them but their brothers had all left home. One had joined the military and two had settled down far away from home. Bea was considering all of these things when she made her decision concerning Mae. However, last year when she had her third child she repeated the usual lecture but did allow her to keep the child with the understanding that there would be no more babies without marriage first.

Bea was so disappointed that four of her five daughters got pregnant without husbands. She was thankful that one of them, Betty and the baby’s father did marry before the child was born. Pamela, her youngest, was only thirteen at this point in time and still had a chance. Pamela was a surprise; she came after Bea thought she had passed her child bearing years. Lil, the oldest girl, was on her third baby. Mae had birthed three so far; Betty and Francis each had one. Pamela, Bea hoped and prayed would not follow in the steps of her sisters. Bea, an only child, had found herself with child and no husband. The humiliation was so great she would never forget it. Nor would she forget the pain it caused her mom and dad. She birthed a son. Her parents took him and raised him, allowing her the opportunity to find a husband and start a new life. That was the opportunity she wanted for her girls. She met a man named Ezra who she married about a year later. This proved her mother was right. He lived in a small town near her in Georgia. After they married he came north, found work, and sent for her.

Ezra was a good man and he loved his daughters. He hated the reputations they had gotten and was aware of how people viewed them. However, no one would dare speak ill of them in his presence. He saw them as smart, beautiful, and loving women with great potential. He did everything he could to help them. Something in them reminded him of Bea. She was a good woman and once was full of fire. She had had an enthusiasm and a love for life. Sometimes now it was hard to see the fire. She was often paralyzed by other people’s opinions; always worried about what people would say. Back in their home town, there was a rumor that she had been raped and that’s why her parents took the child and raised him. When a woman got raped old folk would say she had been ruined. Maybe they were right. Sometimes Bea got so depressed she could not leave the house. Looks like the rape as well as life’s hardships and disappointments had just about destroyed her. She could not bear to even think about what she believed people were saying about her girls and probably her too. No matter how hard Ezra tried, he had not been able to heal her; his love was not enough.

Bea had trouble sleeping that night. She remembered when she persuaded Mae to give up her second baby. She didn’t mean to hurt Mae, but she did what she had to do. She too still felt the pain of that decision, not to mention her occasional reliving of the pain she felt when her own mother told her that they would take her baby and raise him as their own. This is your only way of having a chance at happiness Bea; a chance to get a husband, her mama said. You did not question the authority of your parents. You simply did whatever you were told to do, no questions asked. It wasn’t long before she met a nice man and was married. She thought he was the answer to the unrest she felt inside. But she was wrong; no one could seem to repair what was broken in her on that fateful day she conceived her first child. She softly cried herself to sleep.

Lil was awakened with the sound of birds calling out their good mornings. It promised