Life Among Others: a Broken Diary/Journal

By Lidwine Barham

Do you feel misunderstood by your surrounding? How are you living your Life Among Others? Author Lidwine Barham shares this inspirational book to help you uplift yourself. It is a simple illustration of the authors life experience and the many paths that she chose because she was under the infl uence of either people or material. It was not what she wanted; it was not peaceful; and she knew something was not dwelling in her the way it was supposed to. Several of her personal stories are described to let you know that you have the ability to make it everywhere without anyone elses consent but yours.

With God you will accomplish anything. Right and wrong is not a matter of culture.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456890285

Lidwine Barham

Do you feel misunderstood by your surrounding? How are you living your Life Among Others? Author Lidwine Barham shares this inspirational book to help you uplift yourself. It is a simple illustration of the author’s life experience and the many paths that she chose because she was under the infl uence of either people or material. It was not what she wanted; it was not peaceful; and she knew something was not dwelling in her the way it was supposed to. Several of her personal stories are described to let you know that you have the ability to make it everywhere without anyone else’s consent but yours. With God you will accomplish anything. Right and wrong is not a matter of culture.

Book preview

LIFE AMONG OTHERS:

A BROKEN JOURNAL

Lidwine Barham

Copyright © 2012 by Lidwine Barham.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011904513

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4568-9027-8

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4568-9026-1

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4568-9028-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

96269

CONTENTS

Part One   The Disturbance and Blindness of a Negative Soul

Chapter 1  Transgressions

Chapter 2  My Concerns

Chapter 3  Mixed Feelings

Part Two   The Transformation of a ‘Bad Self’ to a ‘Good Self’

Chapter 4  Parents

Chapter 5  The Result of the Ups and Downs

Chapter 6  God Calls

Chapter 7  Roosevelt’s Turning Point

Chapter 8  God Uses Us for His Purpose

Chapter 9  Avoid Temptation

Chapter 10  God’s Work

Chapter 11  When the Holy Spirit Acts on Your Behalf

Part Three   Faith

Chapter 12  Two Steps Forward, and Four Steps Backward

Chapter 13  What is right?

Chapter 14  For My Ladies!

Chapter 15  The Magic of The Bible

Chapter 16  Tithes and Rewards

Chapter 17  Turning Point

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To Roosevelt Barham, who brings me so much inner beauty, I love you.

Thank you for your kindness, support, advice, and how highly you think of me. Thank you for being a caring husband and provider. I am so grateful that you acknowledge every day that God is the head of our household, our provider and our redeemer. Know that I pray for you every day.

Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.—1 Corinthians 11:11

Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.—Ephesians 5:33

I would also like to acknowledge the following people:

Tagne Pierre, my grandfather, who is a strong pioneer

Ms. Carol Shepard, my spiritual mother

Amani Lwanzo Arlette: you have been such a good friend and listener

All my remaining family in Europe, America and Africa:

Maman Rose

Mama Evelyne

Rosine

Antoine

Armand

Bibiche

Edmonde

Blondelle

Korka, Jarry and Danielle, who are my sisters whom I love dearly

My good friends, Ingrid Darbouze, Eric Ngantchou, Kelbe Berthe, MC Tina and Mayra Nguyen, Ginette Foed, Mepou Aimee and Rasha Anton

My church family at Crenshaw Christian Center East: My spiritual growth is amazing. My focus is no longer on the opinion of men, but rather, that of God.

In addition, I would like to offer some special thank yous to the following:

My grandparents, my Uncle Fidelis, and Aunt Helen

My stepfather, Malick Mamadou

My father, Essake Mbappe

Ms. Gibbs-Olive

Fay Salwen & Steve Peletier

My family-in-law, the Barhams

Sharon L. Lockhart

Mr & Mrs Anthony and Reina Smith ( Kia & Liam)

Pastor Terry and Linda Sparks, for being so supportive

Mrs. Laura Shipon and Dr. Randolph Shipon,

http://moms-proofreading.com

96269-BARH-layout.pdf

Matthew 19:5 and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? Mark 10:7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. Mark 10:8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.

Ephesians 5:22-27 said Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, 23 because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of [this] body. 24 In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, continue loving YOUR wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it, 26 that he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word, 27 that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor, not having a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

PREFACE

Our minds are powerful. Sometimes too powerful.

Our thoughts can make the world actually seem like what we want to believe. Most of the time, it is only our minds playing tricks on us, and we act based on our feelings and emotions.

This book, Life Among Others, offers different notion. Acts 17:15-28 states that we do not have any business having idolatry—anything that exists outside God—in our lives. This book is about putting God at the center of a life well-lived. Throughout the years, I have tried to be mindful about what I say and how I communicate with people. This book represents a lifelong effort to do just that.

•     •     •

I occupied myself with many concerns that seemed separate from God, until I really discovered the beauty of His power. First Corinthians 6:19 states that our bodies are temples to God, who lives in those temples. It is important to take care of our temples because they do not belong to us. Colossians 1: 26-27 says that the mystery of God is revealed within us. I want to know those mysteries and how I can have control over my desire to be who I am.

I have learned to use my Bible as my daily travel companion. Throughout several verses in the Bible, God shows us that he uses us to perform his purpose and that all people are connected to each other. This book is a narrative of my life experiences and the many paths that I chose because I was under the influence of either other people, or the concerns of the material world.

It was not what I wanted. It was not peaceful. I knew something was not dwelling in me the way it was supposed to. Ephesians 3:17 states Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. God is present within us and works through us. The parable related in Luke 15:13-32 teaches that God is always at home. We constantly look for God in the wrong place. God is always waiting for us to return home.

•     •     •

In the following pages, I will start from the beginning so that we can be on the same page. I am a little ahead of myself already, but throughout these anecdotes and lessons, I want you, the reader, to see how God is faithful and awesome.

We, the children, have to become like the angels. If the grace of divinity is manifold, it means that the Supreme Being’s blessing comes from many directions.

In my life, I started from nowhere and with nothing, with no one, and with little self-esteem. After spending more time with God, I realized that I have grace and that I should claim my right.

God gives us the strength and the ability to do amazing things, but we often rely on the authorities in the material world, because at first, they seem to exceed our abilities. But we must understand something: Jesus helps us become our own authority, and it is through cultivating a rational understanding of the world.

Because we tend to look for shortcuts in life, we want to turn away, close our minds to God and believe men instead. We believe in the authority of doctors, parents, corrupted laws, money and wealth.

This book is about looking within ourselves to become our own authorities, by opening our minds to God.

PART ONE

The Disturbance and Blindness

of a Negative Soul

It was all happening within me, and within me alone.

In my deepest thoughts, I felt like I had no control over my own reality.

I was not able to be myself. I was trying to help other people with their feelings in order to feel better myself. Was this a disorder or a disease? I do not know, and at the time, I could not tell.

Today, when I look behind me, I see a long road full of multi-colored dry leaves. I was dry like those leaves. That is how it felt inside—like life had made me dry inside.

I know that I have grown greatly from where I started. I am a new person who has discovered herself.

Some people in my life observed me as always rushing to learn about life. They tried to remind me that growth comes with the time and experience. I am working on it. I am working on slowing down and appreciating the process.

Like everyone else, I had so many dreams. I did not rely on my own will alone. I relied on God’s will, and I could not have made it so far without Him.

Could I just stop rushing and pushing myself, all on my own? I did try alone, and I failed so many times.

Today, I accept myself fully and completely. I am reading the signs that God gives me every day to pursue my dreams. In addition, the Divine uses me to help Him achieve His purpose. We are God’s ambassadors.

•     •     •

I express myself here using prose, but poetry describes me better. I have changed and I am amazed by who I have