The Rise of the Robin

By G13

To you, thank you for your betrayal. Without it I would not have entered the express G-Way to Self Love. To the bottom of the consciousness ocean, I sank. Please Lord I pleaded, I will do anything to be healed right down to my soul, and it was in that moment I finally made the choice to be saved from inside out. Please know that variety is the spice of life. What complex taste do you have to offer? Just know that you are strong enough to forgive, you can truly release the pain inside. Just know that at your core that life is wonderful, you are worthy. I will show you the way, please allow me to be your guide. Allow the healing progress to begin and cross the bridge of love to self-liberation. I hope to give you insight into why we experience such crazy emotions that confuses our way of thinking. And yes growth is often messy, but we cannot grow when we are comfortable. We may have had a few bad chapters, yet your story is far from being over. I want to be the person to spread kindness in the darkness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Apr 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665588485

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ISBN: 978-1-6655-8849-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8848-5 (e)

Published by AuthorHouse 04/29/2021

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The Rise of the Robin

BY G13

All things are possible. Who you are is limited by who you think you are.

Egyptian Book of the Dead

Ageless Wisdom

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CHAPTER

1. The Almighty Power of Honesty

2. Cupid points inwards, the true Gateway of Unity

3. Ask your questions from the Heart

4. The Practice of Open Mindfulness to receive your answers

5. The Rollercoaster Stage of Manifestation

6. Surrender and become Your Authentic Self

7. Acceptance and The Almighty Leap of Faith

Introduction

Since December 2019 Covid-19 has caused major disruption to our daily lives throughout communities worldwide. We are now in uncertain times as we continue to battle the spread. As the borders shut one by one, with people stuck indoors, this pandemic is having severe effects on our mental health. Will this testing time make or break us? We must make the choice to self-reflect not merely self-isolate. People are habitual control freaks, so of course, this period of upheaval is testing us all on so many levels. Our world as we once knew it has changed forever.

March 2020 was when I experienced my first miscarriage. To all you amazing souls who have gone through this loss, I send my love. I will not lie, I took to my bed for a few weeks struck down with grief. I was internally screaming for freedom from this mundane existence, a raging spiral of self- doubt and grief. I finally managed to pick myself up and started writing. By putting pen to paper I could feel the healing process begin to work. Below are a few entries of my journal over 2020 to give you a glimpse of my life.

For me I felt that I had hit rock bottom beginning on Sunday 8th of March, my husband Adrian and I went for an early scan. After trying for 3 years I was beyond happy to become a mother. A DREAM FULFILLED! My world stopped when I was told I’m very sorry there is no heartbeat. My heart sank right there and then and it has been hurting ever since, I cry every day. Although statistics claim on average 1 in 4 women experience this loss, yet I still blame myself, just thinking what could I have done differently? My family and friends have been amazing but there are no words to make it better. It’s OK TO CRY! I wrote the following poem to help with the loss of our baby which we called Robin.

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ROBIN

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

And throughout the depths of my aura.

You made me so happy throughout those few beautiful months,

Pain driven by grief prevailed, the rivers and lakes that I cried.

I guess Destiny and Time were not on our side,

Alone now in the unknown mist.

Nothing compares to the loss of you, my dear child,

You did exist!

I sank to the bottom my love, with the weight of the world on the Darkness night.

I swear YOU will always be with me, my free Lil bird rise to light.

Just know mommy and daddy loves you,

Next time we’ll all be stronger and catch the right tide.

When timing is right, reunited as one,

We shall seek and find you to be right by your side.

xxx

From A very heartbroken Gee, with all my love.

The following Wednesday I started bleeding lightly, I just thought that this was my body experiencing the beginning of the miscarriage. By Friday afternoon I was on the floor screaming with uncontrollable pain with contractions, asking Adrian to help me and make it stop. An ambulance was called that same afternoon and I was brought to the Royal Hospital in Belfast. My mum and my brother-in-law Matt drove straight up from Newry to meet us there. I was in an animated state of mind, a surreal experience. Covid-19 was starting to hit big in the news and the medical staff were beginning to react. I was in tears all ALONE, the A+E staff wearing masks and trying to distance patients, whilst asking their loved ones to go to the waiting area. A wee sweetheart nurse who felt sorry for me allowed Adrian back in. All I wanted to do was hold his hand. I slept most of the next day exhausted by the whole nightmare.

By Sunday my best friend Nadia came over with flowers and chocolates and the topic of conversation was of course Covid-19. We couldn’t stop watching the news. By 16/03/20 my first venture out into the real world, we went to Tesco for a food shop. I haven’t shopped or cooked the following week due to my mental stability and inability to get out of bed. It was mad! The shelves were stripped bare of all long-life goods, toilet rolls, baby food, nappies and baby wipes, milk, tinned foods, pasta, rice, and any kind of disinfectant. No bags at checkouts. My head was trying to register what the hell.

That same day all the staff at my workplace a restaurant called Olivers, collectively received a group What’s App message, which highlighted the fact that the restaurant trade was now moving towards uncertain times. It was stated that we may all be asked to make huge sacrifices. We were now offering new options of takeaway and collection, along with new hygiene procedures as we continued to stay open. Alex our manager had sent us the following words, With everything that is currently happening, these times will be tight financially. What that entails is difficult to predict. However, any decisions will be made to try and protect the business so that we have jobs in the future. When it boils down to it we are all in uncharted territory. All we can do is our best and see what happens, love Alex. With this news I suddenly felt the worry rising up in the pit of my stomach, how will we pay our bills? Will we become homeless?

I went to work the next day which was St Patrick’s Day, the saddest one I have ever experienced. I deep cleaned the restaurant like never before. We served a few people but it felt socially awkward. Gone are the days where a sneeze is followed by a ‘bless you’. Now a cough to clear your throat causes fear to onlookers followed by a look of, are you carrying the plague? Schools still remained opened at this stage. But yet day by day the virus spreads, the worry thickens, whilst thousands of people are being laid off work on a daily basis. At this time Boris Johnson the UK PM was trying to reinforce the country to stay at home unless necessary. The advice to the general public was to avoid restaurants, bars, cinemas, and to work from home and to self isolate themselves where possible. Yet we were still open with customers dwindling and the anxiousness in the air rising.

That night after work I met my long-term best friend Jenny from Uni. She was making me feel better as I burst into tears when she picked me up. I felt so overwhelmed and cursed. I lost my baby, now maybe my job then my home if I didn’t figure out how to pay future bills. We were joined by my other best friend Nadia. We were all stressed out for different reasons.

Nadia is self-employed as a dog walker and groomer and again she was worried she couldn’t pay her bills. Nadia is originally from Poland and feels even more isolated as she has no family here and if anything happens to her parents she won’t be able to go home.

The feeling of dread with the pain in my heart was getting too much. I am normally the most positive person in the room but I felt that my life was spiralling out of control. Addicted to BBC and Sky News, watching the world experiencing a meltdown, has made me worst. It’s the unknown we are all afraid of. My mum is in her 70’s and has high blood pressure and asthma, she is now one of the vulnerable ones. An even worst realisation reared its head when London