Mind Attacks: A Journey From Hurt to Healing

By Sheena McCullough

As a young person, we always have the highest hopes for ourselves, but so much life happens along the way that it can deter any young, beautiful girl from her original path. This is a journey of how a young lady fights to overcome anxiety, depression, guilt, and "Mind Attacks."

Family can easily and naturally become the center

• Language: English
• Publisher: Opportune Independent Publishing Co.
• Release date: Sep 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781970079975

Sheena McCullough

Sheena McCullough is a Los Angeles Native making her way through the authorship journey as a first-time author. She studied Business Administration at Long Beach City College where she developed a mind for processing information. She has always had a passion and willingness to help others, anyway she possibly could, which lead to her first book being written. Sheena authored "Mind Attacks" (launching Sept., 2020) as a way to sympathize with others through personal experiences, while inspiring and motivating others to hold on just a little longer while healing is on its way. She began journaling when she became a mother to her only son. She used him as her inspiration to use her voice. Sheena believes that children have a way of making you feel like you can do anything. Writing "Mind Attacks" was highly therapeutic for her because it gave her a sense of purpose. Due to her deplorable life experiences, she decided to share her story in hopes that it'll help someone else overcome their battles. Through her journey of healing and overcoming, Sheena has realized the importance of identifying the source and root of your pain and exposing it so that healing can occur. Sheena plans to author more books, become an advocate and speaker to and for the youth and sexually abused victims. She'd like to encourage them to be a light to others, even when there's been so much darkness in their lives. Lastly, Sheena has aspirations of becoming Dr. McCullough one day by completing a degree in mental health.

Book preview

Dedication

To all the survivors of abuse, my brothers Zuriel and Marshall who inspired me to heal first and manifested this book, thank you!

Introduction

Free of false sense of perfections, self-doubt and fear. It is amazing what you are taught to believe from early childhood to adulthood. The constant reminder that I do not have a college degree, which I was told in school was the only way to a successful future. I was inspired by those who could dance, act, or sing, none of which I could do well. I had no idea what my purpose was in this life. One time, I asked my mother what she thought I did well and she responded, You clean the house very well.

All I could think was I’m going to grow up and be a housekeeper. No way! Not that there is anything wrong with being of service. I knew deep inside my heart it was more to me than just a neat room. I possessed creativity, too. I just hadn’t found the thing that I was most passionate about, yet.

Feeling stuck, I wondered will I ever be free to speak my mind; free to dislike what I disliked; free not to get dressed up, fix my hair or put on makeup; free to choose who I like and not feel guilty for who I did not. Can I be free enough to say, I’m not okay!

I didn’t feel safe to express myself freely, and I didn’t know why. There was an aching in my soul that no one knew—a voice unheard. I wondered would anyone miss me if I was dead or would I be forgotten after months had gone by.

I have something to give, something to say. For the first time in my life, this is my voice unapologetic! I’ve begun a journey of becoming who I was always destined to. Now begins the breaking of old habits and the formation of new. This will be the breaking of generational cycles that prohibited me from speaking my truth. This is my journey on how I fought to overcome anxiety, depression, guilt, and mostly what I like to call Mind Attacks.

I hope this book will give you hope and inspire you to never give up… to be the voice of change.

Replaying past trauma In your mind, staying stagnate In an undeveloped state of being. Traumatized by abuse and suppression of expressing oneself.

Acknowledgments

Funny side note (although it wasn’t funny at the time). When I first started writing this book, I typed several pages, and none of my work was saved. Talk about frustration!

I wanted to throw my computer against the wall and quit but instead, I called my dearest friend, Marshall. His response to my outburst was, Well, perhaps you were supposed to tell your story in a different way. You can do it again.

He also asked why I felt I couldn’t rewrite the pages over again. I don’t want to keep reliving the past hurts, I told him.

He reminded me that I wasn’t over the pain and that I was still in the process of healing. In my mind, I was over it… but I was still scared. I was afraid to let my voice be heard. Even at that very moment, I wanted to scream at him, but I couldn’t. Deep inside, I knew he was right.

Foundation

My parents divorced when I was two years old. Being that young, for years I didn’t believe the cliché that adults not cohabitating would affect me.

My mother remarried when I was five, I will never forget I wore this gold and white shiny dress, and my golden- brown hair in two ponytails. I can’t say how I felt, I don’t remember.

I do remember not knowing anything about him, not being formally introduced, having an undeveloped bond, and feeling a connection with this stranger. But mother was marrying him and I wanted