The Secret Keeper: Rising from Shame and Abuse to Hope and Significance

By Tracey McGlashan

“no hoper”, “good for nothing”, “lazy”, “bad tempered”, “wouldn’t amount to anything”

 

These are the words Tracey McGlashan heard spoken over her every day while she was a child. Words that would shape her identity and set her on a path that could have l

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Mar 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647460174

Tracey McGlashan

Right from the time she was a little girl, Tracey McGlashan felt called to work with hurting and broken children and youth and be the person for them that she wished someone had been for her during her childhood years of abuse at the hands of her grandmother. Tracey currently works with hurt and broken children and youth in schools. Along with being part of the founding team, for several years she was a co-Director of Southern Cross Kids' Camps, an Australian camping program designed to give child victims of abuse and neglect a week of happy memories, build their self-esteem, show them their worth, and that not all adults are going to hurt them. This vision has grown to encompass all ages, and Tracey desires to see people released from their bondages and be set free to live in their true identity. Tracey is the founder of P.O.W. (People Of Worth) which provides workshops and seminars for people who want to break free from the mindsets and labels that they have lived under all their lives and discover their true identity, purpose and freedom. Tracey has a Diploma in Youth Work (Distinction) and a Diploma in Mental Health. Tracey regularly writes articles for her school newsletters and has had several articles published in the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors magazine. Along with some poetry and song lyrics, Tracey has her own blog called 'Perfect Combination of Princess and Warrior' https://perfectcombinationofprincessandwarriorcom.wordpress.com. Tracey is married to Chris and they are the proud parents of two very special fur babies. Tracey and Chris live in the outer suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

Book preview

The Secret Keeper

Rising from Shame and Abuse to Hope and Significance

Tracey McGlashan

THE SECRET KEEPER © 2019 by Tracey McGlashan

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America

Published by Author Academy Elite

P.O. Box 43, Powell, OH 43055

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, store in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Control Number 2019917981

Softcover: 978-1-64746-015-0

Hardcover: 978-1-64746-016-7

E-book: 978-1-64746-017-4

Available in hardcover, softcover and e-book

All Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version*, NIV*. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ and The Passion Translation*, TPT*. Copyright © 2017 by Stairway Ministries™

All rights reserved.

Cover Artwork by Evelyn Peterson based on the original by Maria Magdalena Oosthuizen. No copyright infringement intended.

Acknowledgements

My dearly loved mother, Evelyn, who has loved and supported me and been in my corner every day of my life. We are too alike, which is a good thing because we understand each other! Thank you for being my mother and my friend and for always being there. Thank you for modelling what it means to totally love and trust Jesus with everything, especially during the tough times.

To my adored husband, Chris, who is the best man I know. Thank you for your strength, wisdom, and kindness. You’ve been a steady influence and the voice of reason I so often need. I love you immensely and am so grateful to God for giving you to me. Thank you for making me laugh every day and for supporting me in all my crazy ventures!

To my sister, Shelley, who won’t get to read this book, but I know you will be celebrating it in heaven. You were always my biggest fan, and you loved me unconditionally, which I didn’t deserve. I am so grateful for you and I miss you so much. What a reunion it will be in heaven one day!

And to my Heavenly Father. God, this book wouldn’t be possible without You and what You have done in my life. Thank You for loving me, for saving me, for having a plan for my life, and for never giving up on me. I am so thankful that I am never beyond Your reach. You saw who that broken little girl really was and what she would become. The glory is Yours.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Epilogue

About the Author

Chapter One

She sat across from me, tears streaming down her face as she told me her story. For someone so young, she had dealt with—and continued to deal with—more abuse and heartache than most people do in a lifetime. It was at that moment I knew I could offer her hope, give her a reason to keep going, and not give up. But that meant verbalising out loud to a child that I identified with her pain.

For most of my life, I pretended my childhood was normal, and I was not a victim of abuse, or rather, a survivor of abuse. When I was a child, it was unheard of for a child not to have both parents in the home, let alone to live with grandparents. But that was me. My dad left when I was three and a half years old. He had Huntington’s Disease, but back then, there wasn’t the screening and testing that there is today. The poor man didn’t know what was wrong with him; he thought he was going crazy. The stress of it all made my mum very sick, and as a result, we—Mum, my sister Shelley, and I—went to live with my grandparents.

I was bullied at school for not having my dad at home; children can be cruel. One classmate told me she wasn’t surprised my dad left my mum if my mum was even half as much of a bitch as I was. The sting of those words lasted for many years. But that was almost nothing compared to what it was like living with my grandparents. My grandfather was cold, distant, and a bit scary. My grandmother was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. The scars left on my heart from my grandmother’s words and actions will never totally disappear.

I wanted to be normal. I didn’t want to be the girl with no father who lived with her grandmother. I watched other families and wished I lived with them. I loved my mum—and still do—but I didn’t want to live in that house. When I was growing up my identity was defined by what I was told. I heard I was a no-hoper, a good for nothing, lazy, and bad tempered, and that I wouldn’t amount to anything. I grew up feeling misunderstood and worthless. I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. But there was always a part of me which refused to give up—a small voice, that I believe was the Holy Spirit whispering to me that it would get better. I didn’t understand then. I knew that I couldn’t give up, even when there appeared to be no light at the end of the tunnel, and the feeling of hopelessness and despair were a suffocating blanket. The old saying, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, is so false. Bones will heal, but the scars left upon a