Back in 2016, I started what has become an annual Thanksgiving tradition…my list of Five Unusual Things to Be Thankful for.
In creating this year’s list, I decided to revisit the three previous years’ lists. In part to see what stood out to me each year, but also to see how this list has evolved.
In year 1, I made it about you; in years 2 & 3 they were MY lists. A little insight into my soul, to be sure. My hope is that, by sharing what I’m thankful for on a very personal level, you can identify.
And maybe even recognize the blessing in something similar that you’ve faced this year.
Also, it was an opportunity for me to revisit the learning that occurred through these experiences. Did I really learn from that situation, or have I been required to revisit that lesson again and again until it finally sticks?
So, now we proceed with this year’s list:

1. Not knowing anybody.
I went to a two-day conference in March in Dallas, held by my coach, Brooke Castillo. What I found when I got there was the vast majority of the participants (and there were 300+) knew other people there. Most of them had gone through Brooke’s coaching school and were hanging out with their classmates at the conference.

I didn’t know a soul at the conference.

There have been many situations like this in my life where I assimilated into another group quite well, but in this situation I chose to be by myself.

The upside? I really enjoyed my excellent meals in a swanky hotel by myself with a good book or that day’s training materials.

I enjoyed my room by myself.

I enjoyed reserving my energy outside of the conference, so that I could be rested and fully present for the conference.

No, I didn’t make any friends there. And that’s okay. It was still an amazing conference.

2. The contrast of a negative energy.
This one may sound a bit woo-woo, but stay with me. Early this year, I was contacted by a much older woman who wanted a resume. Maybe. Maybe she needed job search coaching, or LinkedIn help…I could never get a read on this woman.
At her request, I did something I’ve never done before…I met her at her home here in Tallahassee. I spent far more time with her than a normal 45-minute consult call.
Then there were additional calls and emails…followed by silence. In the end, we parted ways and I was glad to see the end of her.
But it wasn’t the end. An amazing woman, Licia Berry, identified two negative energies that had attached themselves to me. I figured one of them out immediately, but it took me a while (with Licia’s help) to identify that the other energy was this 70-year-old woman. Licia then got her that negative energy off of me.
The lesson? I have a process, and that process works. Any client who wants to control my process isn’t a good fit for me, because I’m the expert here…not them. It’s not that I’m inflexible, it’s that I want to give my clients the best possible experience…and I know what that should look like.
Also, I chased her far too long out of a sense of need. I needed the money. There, I said it. In retrospect, I should have never gone to her house (where, no doubt, her energy got on me). I certainly shouldn’t have continued to follow up with her when everything inside me was screaming to run in the other direction.

3. Having to ask for help.
The Universe decided I needed to allow others to help me this year, and it’s been one of the most difficult lessons for me to learn.

Let me say that, at my age, any lessons still to learn are difficult ones. We’ve already knocked out the easier stuff, so we’re left with heavily ingrained beliefs and habits that are painful to address. (Something for you young ‘uns to look forward to.)

In the interest of retaining a smidge of dignity after this episode drops, I won’t go into detail about the kind of help I’ve needed this year, but suffice it to say it’s covered the spectrum.

And here’s what I learned a long time ago: People want to help. Not all of them, and not all the time, but in general, p