Walking My Road Of Grief

By Matthew D Rucker

            My son committed suicide, at the age of thirteen, on January 25, 1995.  This was by far the hardest lick life has hit me with.  Yet my son prepared me as best he could for his death.  I missed the signs at the time.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: The Mulberry Books
• Release date: Jun 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9781950850303

Matthew D Rucker

Reverend Matthew Rucker has an Engineering Degree from Georgia Tech and a Business Degree from the University of South Carolina. He has a Master of Divinity from Asbury Theological Seminary. He took a one year sabbatical to become certified as a Hospital Chaplin. He retired from the South Carolina Methodist Conference as a minister after 40 years of service. He now lives in Sandy Run, South Carolina with his wife, Angela and pug dog, Teddy. He attends his home church Beulah Methodist and raises cows. He is where he loves to be, back on the farm.

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Copyright © 2019 by Matthew Rucker.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher and author, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review.

This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.

ISBN:

978-1-950850-28-0 [Paperback Edition]

978-1-950850-29-7 [Hardback Edition]

978-1-950850-30-3 [eBook Edition]

Printed and bound in The United States of America.

Published by

The Mulberry Books, LLC.

8330 E Quincy Avenue, Denver CO 80237

themulberrybooks.com

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Let me thank all of family, friends, and church members for being there for me. I particularly want to thank my friend and doctor, Doctor Michael Willmot, who was a Godsend. I would also like to thank my good friend, Billy Robinson, for the picture on the cover of the book. Each of you put your hand under me and lifted me up, but most of all I thank God for the mystery of these poems.

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INTRODUCTION

My son committed suicide, at the age of thirteen, on January 25, 1995. This was by far the hardest lick life has hit me with. Yet my son prepared me as best he could for his death. I missed the signs at the time.

I remember after a young lady’s funeral, Brandon made the statement, Dad that was a cool funeral. I want you to promise me to do my funeral when I die. I remarked, You will see me die first. He insisted that I promise him if something happened, I would do his funeral and I agreed.

He also prepared me the day of his death. I took him to school and as he got out, he turned and said, Dad you know I love you? I told him, I love you too. He said, Dad, no matter what happens, know that I love you. I said, Okay. And he then replied, You’re a cool dad. Those were the last words on this earth that I heard from my son. That afternoon he was dead.

I said all of this to come to the book. The book consists of the time frame following his death. Now the mystery is the poems. I have never written poems before, so all of this is a mystery to me.

The poems would come all at once. The title first, then the poem and most of them came during the night. I would be awakened with verses running wild in my brain. Grabbing a pen and paper I would write as fast as I could. When I was through, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I never had a clue to when they would come.

Now this book is written within the arena of feelings. I know facts about his death, but I concentrated on the feelings. Knowing all the facts doesn’t ease the pain. I will not point the finger at anyone for each of us involved must take