Different From the Other Kids - Natural Alternatives Edition

By Angela Tsounis and Dr. Jonathan Prousky

Traditional medicine devalues and demeans anything natural as quackery. Angela Tsounis' original best-selling book ended with a "What if?": what if there was some natural therapy that could help her daughter, who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?

After years of pharmaceutical medication, Angela's daughter's liver

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brightflame Books
• Release date: Nov 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9781988179179

Book preview

Foreword

By Patti Wilson

Patti

Patti Wilson, M.A., M.Ed., has over 30 years experience in the counselling profession, having completed post-graduate degrees in Counselling Psychology and Education, with a focus on parenting instruction while completing her Psychology degree from the Adler School of Professional Psychology. For over 20 years, Wilson operated Wilson Counselling Associates and continues her work today as "The Spiritual Coach, providing counselling and healing sessions that emphasize a connection to Spirit. Her warmth and humour help create a rich environment for personal and spiritual growth

Few books will have the grass-roots appeal for parents of challenging children as this book will. It offers raw and honest narratives by people who have experienced much of the same heartache and chaos as the reader. While there is enormous value in expert research, theories and current medical models, they are not enough. As a parent, I can attest to the grief, confusion and frustration experienced by parents of a child with a mental illness, knowing that there is simply not enough of the right kind of help available when it is needed. Parents must become their own resource detectives and fierce advocates for these children. Angela Tsounis’ DFTOK project has made this detective work a lot easier, providing the kind of empathic been-there advice and support that these parents need.

I currently have a private practice as a Spiritual Coach, providing counselling and healing sessions that incorporate a connection with Spirit. I began in the helping professions over 30 years ago, after completing post-graduate degrees in Counselling Psychology and Education, including teaching part-time at a local college and university when my children were young. For over 20 years I maintained a private psychotherapy practice, where a considerable part of my practice involved supporting and coaching worried parents. (My psychology degree from the Adler School of Professional Psychology included parenting instruction as a large component of the program). I witnessed a lot of human suffering over those years, and I was gratified to see these families grow and thrive, yet I never stopped seeking new-and-improved ways to deal with mental health issues. Just as this book explores complementary, non-traditional methods for helping children with a mental health challenge, I have always sought new approaches that were often considered outside the box. My clients are often willing to trust me enough to step out of their comfort zone and try some newfangled or woo-woo approach. While the research on these new strategies may not be as rock solid as with a more traditional path, with a bit of the aforementioned detective work. parents can learn about exciting new concepts that may have merit in helping their children.

A grass roots project, DFTOK has been extremely well received by the community of parents who struggle day-in and day-out with trying to get their kids the services and supports they so desperately need. Unlike social systems, such as medical, mental health and education programs that get bogged down in red tape and procedural issues, grassroots projects are free to be bold, to speak the truth and to actively provide new directions and supports for the individuals involved.

As parents, we take on the huge responsibility of identifying, understanding and meeting our children’s needs, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. On top of that, childhood is a time of rapidly changing developmental stages. As soon as we seem to have figured out how to address one issue, it morphs into some new issue! Then add the boggling challenges that occur when a child presents with mental health challenges, and it becomes a truly overwhelming situation for most parents. I find it shocking that society assumes that parents just magically know how to do all of this, and do it reasonably well.  While there are some excellent early learning resource centres that teach parenting skills and offer problem-solving and support, they just don’t have the resources to do all that is needed. By school age, the child has become the client. with few supports available for the parents. If I ran the world, I would normalize parenting classes and counselling sessions, so they don’t seem like punishment for parents who are failing to do a good job;in fact, parents who receive and use this type of education generally soar to the top of the pack, becoming truly skilled and gifted parents. Common sense, intuition or the models provided by our parents do not provide all the necessary skills. Parents of children who endure difficult behavioural and emotional issues often have to acquire very specialized behavioural analysis skills, just to name one issue, and yet may still lack some of the essential parenting skills (just like most parents), so it’s like trying to build on an unstable foundation. Most parents, being loving and good-enough, get away with the odd parenting quirk, but there is more at stake when your child has mental health concerns. These parents truly require specialized parenting support, and they often feel misunderstood and judged in regular parenting groups. They may have to think outside the box to create their own resources, such as forming a group—for example a Meetup group, of like-minded parents who can share the cost of bringing in a parenting expert one evening—or teaming up with a friend and taking turns observing each other’s home life for a few hours, just like a behaviour analyst would, to provide honest and helpful feedback. Just because the resources are not always available doesn’t mean we can’t creatively take action and find a way!

Perhaps the most valuable piece of parenting advice I ever received was to consider parenting as an act of rebellion: a willingness to do whatever is necessary to promote the well-being of your children, even if it is frowned upon socially. From this perspective, parenting is child-centred, based on the unique needs of the child in the context of the family and much less socially-centred (i.e. concerned with adapting to the norms of our social culture). This parenting approach becomes increasingly difficult, as children age and begin to demand the same treatment as their friends get. Multiply this challenge for parents of a child with difficult behavioural and emotional issues.

This concept of rebelling against social pressures was a challenge for me, as I am a people-pleaser by nature, preferring to go along with the majority. However, the momma bear in me soon realized that I needed to do what was best for my children and that it was not always easy! I encourage every parent to develop a set of Family Values that will help set your compass and make every–day decision-making more consistent with your true values. Just as the values of the CEO of a company ultimately establishes the values of that business, so parents establish the family values that will be absorbed by their children. If you don’t carry out this important exercise consciously, your unconscious values will trickle down anyway, and you may not be very happy with the outcome. When parents are dealing with on-going chaos and crisis, it can be easy to omit an exercise that on the surface doesn’t seem anywhere near as critical as the demands of the day. However, your family values, in much the same way as your key parenting concepts, form the foundation for a happy, healthy family life.

My family values were based on some of my deepest beliefs. I believe that there are only two emotional energies on the planet- love and fear, and that we must choose love. Other key values for me include truth, self-reflection and self-care, respect for differences, caring communication, patience and balance. By striving to embody these values, I could model them for my children. Now that these children have become adults, I marvel at how they each manifest these values in their own ways. I feel blessed, and sometimes amazed, that those seed values have come to full fruition!

A final word of advice to all parents, but especially for parents with challenging children: elevate your dreams and lower your expectations for yourself and your children. This may sound paradoxical, but let me explain. We all have much greater potential than we can ever imagine. Our roadmap to manifesting that potential comes from our ability to visualize our dearest dreams. Know that you deserve the realization of these goals and that it is possible; then let Spirit do the heavy lifting, while you take responsibility for your free will, and calmly do what needs to be done.

Why do you need to lower your expectations? Because we live in a high- pressure, highly-competitive world, where news feeds keep reminding us that we need to live in fear, and we often succumb to that pressure. We berate ourselves for not being good enough, for not getting enough done, fast enough, soon enough, etc. We internalize the negative messages we give ourselves, and soon we are unconsciously doing everything in our power to undo our belief in our wonderful, powerful potential. The seed for our potential cannot grow in chaotic, negative, fearful soil! By lowering your expectations just a little, and accepting the ebb and flow of life, you can begin to create a home life that has some space and breathing room in it. This decreases the stress of everyday life, which is harmful on so many levels, and builds in the possibility of more peace, relaxation, contemplation, relationship-building, fun activities, healthy eating, and all the other good things that increase happiness. And isn’t happiness what you really want for your precious child?

Disclaimer

The (Not So) Small Print

It’s truly sad that we live in a world where I have to write this section, but my lawyer, my accountant and my publisher have all told me they will be very unhappy if I don’t put this in, so here it is…

I, Angela Tsounis, am not a doctor, and I certainly don’t pretend to be one on paper. I’m a parent. Period. The advice presented in Different from the Other Kids does not replace advice received directly from a medical health professional. If you think you need help, I do recommend making an appointment with your physician or other appropriate healthcare provider.

The author, the publisher and the parents and professionals interviewed for this work make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work, including, and without limitation, warranties of fitness for a particular purpose.

The content, case studies and examples shared in this work should not be assumed to represent, in any way, medical or professional advice. Neither the author nor the publisher is familiar with you, your child or your circumstances. You alone are responsible for your actions and, and in your use of these materials, you agree not to hold us liable for any of your decisions, actions or results, at any time, or under any circumstances. No portion of this work is intended to offer legal, medical, personal or financial advice. If professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.

Under no circumstances, including but not limited to negligence, will the author or publisher, or any of their representatives or contractors be held liable for any special or consequential damages that result from the use of, or inability to use, the materials, information, or strategies communicated through this work, or any services following this work, even if advised of the possibility of such damages.

The fact that an organization, individual or website is referred to as a source of further information does not mean that the author or the publisher endorses the information the organization or website may provide, or recommendations it may make. Further, readers should be aware that internet websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it was read.

In other words, nothing in this book should be taken as any form of contractual obligation. Neither the author, nor her publisher, nor the owners of the intellectual property rights to the book or their assignees warrants any result from acting upon the ideas in this book, and we accept no liability for any damage, loss or harm to you or any third party arising from any interpretation or implementation of the ideas in this book.

And with that out of the way…

A Note On Language

The book you are holding in your hands was compiled from transcripts of conversations I held for my podcast. People don’t speak the way they write. Spoken language is messy. It goes off in unexpected directions, sometimes in the middle of a sentence.

I have deliberately kept the language in this book as close as possible to the words used in the interview. I wanted to get across not just the message, but also the spirit of the people I have interviewed. As a result, I have only made changes where it was necessary for clarity and understanding. Otherwise, what you are reading is exactly what was said.

The result is a book that doesn’t always follow strict rules of structure. It is not a perfect book. But it is a perfect window into the experiences, feelings and thoughts of everyone involved.

Read it and enjoy it. And don’t worry about occasional lapses of grammar: there are far more important things to worry about.

Register

This Book

As a thank you for buying this book I’d like to give you some free gifts. Simply visit www.dftok.com/natural-alternatives-book and confirm your purchase to get access to:

A Sneak Peak at Angela’s next (and final) Different from the Other Kids: Law & Disorder Edition.

An offer for the original Different from the Other Kids: A Book of Interviews for Parents of Challenging Children.

A collection of resources from this book’s guests.

Introduction

What If…?

My daughter was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at seventeen years old but had bouts of pervasive and debilitating anxiety and depression from when she was a child. What resulted from those difficult times eventually became my first book, Different from the Other Kids: A Book of Interviews for Parents of Challenging Children, a resource for families going through mental health challenges. We ended the first book with What if? Here is an excerpt from the conclusion, so you can see where we left off:

We are at the closing stages of this project and already I know that I have to move forward. I have more to do. The whole point of this project was to ensure that parents received some good, worthwhile information from people out there dealing with or affected by mental illness. I really wanted parents specifically to have the opportunity to hear other people’s stories; to hear other people’s triumphs, and other people’s challenges. I didn’t want them to feel as though they are by themselves. I really wanted them to feel like they had a community out there that might understand what they are going through…

I, like most parents, like to think the impossible is possible; that Christina will no longer need to spend so much of her day managing her meds, her moods, and her incessant and omnipresent anxiety.

What if there was a magic therapy? Perhaps a special cocktail of something totally natural, that would balance her moods and brain chemistry so that she wouldn’t go through such extreme states. What if I could wake up one morning without worrying about Christina’s mood management? What would it be like to tell people she’s working at a full-time, high-end job in Toronto, instead of attending an outpatient program at our local hospital? What would it be like to fall asleep without having a gloomy thought that Christina is about to fall off the rails? What if she could do the things that normal young people do? Travel the world, even have children? That is why I need to do another instalment of Different from the Other Kids.

Angela Tsounis, Different from the Other Kids: A Book of Interviews for Parents of Challenging Children, Ontario: 2015, 207-208.

What if? That’s how I ended the first edition of Different from the Other Kids. What if there was a magic therapy? A special cocktail of something entirely natural that would balance Christina’s brain…

We are an overmedicated society. We take Advil and Tylenol for headaches, muscle pain, cold & flu. We take Benadryl for allergies, caffeine for a pick me up, Zantac for an upset stomach: whatever ails us from our North American take-out food lifestyle and the man-made environment has a synthetic pill to fix it. Our alternative is herbal or natural supplements, but herbal supplements and vitamins are often touted in the media as unsafe. There is a faction of society that says North American governments need to protect consumers from these unregulated pseudo micronutrients. The question becomes, are natural supplements our friend or foe?

But, on the other side of the coin, there is a bigger, more serious question here today: is Big Pharma killing us? One of the leading causes of death yearly in the US is from medication side effects [1]. Is it possible the medical industry invents medical disorders (that are natural biological functions) to enhance the profit-making machine of Big Pharma? My opinion is, the Hippocratic Oath of First, do no harm has been fundamentally violated, by mislabelling (or over-labeling if you will) humans in the worst way possible.

To be honest, I feel a little duped. I’m not against pharmaceutical drugs per se, ultimately I believe they have helped my daughter and me at different times of our lives, but had I had alternatives at the time I filled the first prescription, I am confident I would have entertained them. My daughter has been on some kind of pharmaceutical drugs since she was six years old. I was never comfortable with medicating her, but it was either that, or she would not sleep due to night terrors or cycle in and out of depression with huge swings of anxiety. I certainly didn’t anticipate that what I thought at the time was part of the solution, could, years later, be one of the biggest challenges she faces.

Christina’s liver isn’t working very well. It’s sluggish and slow. Christina is monitored by our family doctor. Nothing abnormal registers in the blood test, but there is a very clear problem with her physical health. Coming from a pretty big tightknit highly educated Catholic family (my mother’s side), I grew up with the doctor’s opinion being law and if something isn’t based on science it isn’t worth knowing. As a result of years of medication (light and sporadic as it was when she was young), Christina’s liver now can’t filter properly. The overburdened liver ensures that she sleeps