Raising a Mentally Fit Generation: Science-based tools and strategies to build resilience and wellbeing in our kids

By Kari Sutton

Do you ever worry about the escalating mental health crisis facing our kids today, and silently hope your child does not end up as part of those statistics?

Do you want to teach your kids the habits, skills and mindsets that lay the foundation for positive mental health and wellbeing?

Have you ever wished there was a way to build str

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karisue Pty Ltd ATF the Karnez Trust
• Release date: Nov 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781922391346

Kari Sutton

Kari Sutton is a speaker, author, educator and parent. She has helped over 25,000 parents, families and educators by providing them with evidence-based strategies, tools and mindsets to foster children's positive mental health and plant the seeds of resilience, emotional wellbeing and mental fitness for future generations. Kari is on a mission to change the conversation about how we promote and protect our children's mental health and wellbeing.

Book preview

Ask any parent what they want for their kids and they’ll say something like … happiness and success; but what many really mean is that they want their children to be resilient and able to cope with life’s ups and downs. In this book Kari draws on the research and presents practical advice for how parents can help their children foster and develop the crucial skills required for this; and she does it in a way that’s easy to read and easy to apply.

Dr Timothy Sharp, Chief Happiness Officer – The Happiness Institute

Raising a Mentally Fit Generation is a practical, funny and scientifically researched guide for giving your children strong foundations for positive mental health and wellbeing. The easy-to-follow, evidence-backed recommendations are exactly what parents and teachers need today to support kids in their care to flourish. May this wonderful book reach all who need it.

Megan Dalla-Camina, Founder of Women Rising and best-selling author

Kari’s extensive knowledge and experience in applying positive psychology and mental fitness practices has made a significant impact in the education sector over many years. There are very few programs and books showing educators and parents how to build positive mental health activities that can be easily incorporated into the everyday life of children to build habits to support their wellbeing during the good times and the bad. This book is a must read for anyone working with young children, especially those with significant challenges.

Paula Robinson, PhD, Executive Director and CEO Applied Positive Psychology Learning Institute

Raising a Mentally Fit Generation provides parents with practical advice that is both accessible and transformative. It’s filled with real-life stories and science-based, practical advice. Read it, read it again, and then more importantly, apply it.

Judeth Wilson, Director of WeTrain and The Trainers Ultimate Toolkit and Ever-Learning Mum

I loved this book. It is a fabulous read, so easy to digest with some great tips and tricks along the way. The book is supported by robust science and Kari’s unique experience in this field. This is a must read and will add tremendously to the conversation about mental health and wellbeing, about raising mentally fit children, and being the best parent we can be. Well done Kari on a wonderful achievement.

Sue Langley, CEO Langley Group

Raising a Mentally Fit Generation is the book we all need right now. It is engaging and practical – setting out a clear path for parents, early childhood educators and teachers, enabling them to help lay foundations in our young people so they can thrive in this changing world. Both conversational and compelling, it delivers vital tools and approaches for equipping children with the skills and habits they will need to be mentally and emotionally fit for their bright futures.

Justine Peacock, Coach & Psychotherapist and parent

No parent expects to be perfect, yet my greatest fear is failing to provide my daughter with the wellbeing tools she needs to grow and develop. In a world of media noise and peer pressure from other parents, Raising a Mentally Fit Generation is the breath of fresh air every parent needs to support their little ones. It’s our go-to practical guide for the realities modern children face, and for issues classic parenting books don’t cover. My wife and I knew what to expect when we were expecting; we are now empowered to raise a positive, resilient child ready for whatever the future holds.

Jacob Aldridge, Host of the Come Again? IVF Podcast

The perfect combination of theory and practice! What every parent needs – no judgment, practical ideas, and a way forward. Raising a Mentally Fit Generation will be relevant twenty years from now as it captures how to equip our young people with the skills they need to be emotionally fit now and in the future. An outstanding read!

Roxanne Smith, Deputy Principal, and mum of two beautiful girls

Raising a mentally fit generation is everyone’s responsibility. We need to do things differently and help young people become and stay mentally fit. This work gives us tools to help young people build mental fitness muscles and develop seven key habits. Kari has distilled the science into ten components and brought this to you in a very readable and memorable way. Parents, schools and young people need to read this, discuss it and share it.

Professor Lindsay G. Oades, Director Centre for Positive Psychology, The University of Melbourne

First published in 2020 by Kari Sutton

© 2020 Kari Sutton

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review), no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission.

All inquiries should be made to the author.

A catalogue entry for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.

Project management and text design by Publish Central

Cover design by Peter Reardon

Disclaimer

The material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only, and does not represent professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for particular circumstances and it should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter which it covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

Contents

Dedication

A note from the author

Introduction

How to use this book

The protective nature of mental fitness

The ten components

1.   Teaching brain basics

2.   Cultivating optimism

3.   Managing emotions

4.   Recognising their strengths

5.   Making friends

6.   Encouraging kindness and empathy

7.   Fostering gratitude

8.   Learning to fail

9.   Working on self-mastery

10. Practising mindfulness

Conclusion: Making memories together

Extra resources for help

About the author

Acknowledgements

References

Dedication

To Andrew, I treasure our love and life together. To Mitchell, who fills my life with joy.

To my parents Anne and Jerry and brother Mark for their encouragement, love and support.

This work is also dedicated to all the children and families at Camp Quality who left imprints on my heart that will stay with me forever. Thank you for teaching me that we can all be equipped with a toolkit of attitudes, behaviours and strategies that promote positive mental health and wellbeing, no matter what our life circumstances.

A note from the author

As I was finishing this book, Australia was being ravaged by bushfires and was in the grip of one of the worst bushfire seasons we have ever had. Families, children, communities and wildlife were all hurting. I received numerous calls and emails from parents worried about how their children would bounce back from this unfathomable disaster. Our capacity to bounce back from crises, to be resilient, is moulded throughout childhood. Just like we can put actions in place to prepare our families and homes for fires, we can prepare our kids for the firestorms of life.

For the past two decades, I’ve had the privilege of helping raise my nephew Mitchell after my beloved sister-in-law passed away from ovarian cancer. I was presented with this opportunity when my brother reached out for support after they had been through their own personal firestorm. As a family, we’ve experienced many of the same problems and concerns raising him as every other parent has, and I have always appreciated the support and chance to talk these things through with other parents. I used the tools and strategies I learned through my positive psychology studies to begin building his mental fitness muscles so that he would be able to tackle anything else life threw his way. I have also tested these ideas with thousands of other children and families, which brought me to my work today and the book you’re reading right now.

When clients and colleagues approached me to write this book my first thought was – who am I to write a book? I am not a psychiatrist, I am not a psychologist, and I don’t have a PhD. Then one of the mums I had the pleasure of working with put it to me this way.

She said, Kari, I got a lot out of the stories, ideas and tools you shared. I know they helped my family and I believe they could help others. Isn’t that worth it?

Throughout my career, I have always wanted to be of service to others and help children and their families in any way I can. That’s why I became a teacher, then a guidance counsellor and spent over 22 years volunteering with Camp Quality, a children’s cancer charity. This book is the combination of my research and my everyday experiences as part-time parent for my nephew, a volunteer at Camp Quality, a teacher and guidance counsellor with over 25 years of experience in the education system. I am determined to change the conversation about how we promote good mental health in children as well as empower people who care for, and work with, children (parents, grandparents, carers, early childhood educators, teachers) to plant the seeds of resilience, emotional wellbeing and mental fitness.

I know that a proactive preventative approach is crucial. As parents, we want to prevent problems occurring by building strong protective fences at the top of the cliff rather than waiting to be the ambulances at the bottom, picking our children up when things have gone wrong. Talking to children about their mental fitness from a young age can help them become more resilient and teach them how to look after themselves mentally as well as physically.

It’s essential for me that the information and ideas presented in this book are relevant, detailed and well-researched but it is just a guide. What is best for you and your children will depend on your personal circumstances. For this reason, if you do require more information, guidance or support concerning any particular issue I would ask that you please speak with your medical practitioner, counsellor or mental health practitioner who will be able to take the time to understand your family’s individual circumstances and needs.

Thank you for taking the time to read this book. I hope you find it a useful tool that helps us, and our world, raise a mentally fit generation of kids.

With deepest gratitude,

Kari Sutton

Introduction

As a parent, it’s scary to realise that your child’s adult brain and coping ability is pretty much set by age seven, so you’ve got to put in the hard yards early on.

Alice Williams

Imagine you are walking your child up to their classroom to drop them off to school. You put their bag in the racks outside their classroom and hug them goodbye, hoping your precious baby won’t worry so much that they end up feeling sick the entire day.

You’re standing there staring through the window at your child’s class of 28 beautiful children, wondering how on earth you’re going to help your child through the debilitating anxiety that they come home with every afternoon.

As those 28 buzzing children go to take their seats ready to begin their day, you may not be aware that out of those 28 children:

This is modern childhood, and as adults who care for the children in our lives, we must ask ourselves – what has gone so wrong?

Why adults are understandably worried

The nature of children’s health around the world is changing. There is now a