Black, Female & Bossy

By Shannon Baylor-Henderson

Understand your value as a Black woman with leadership characteristics. From the bedroom to the boardroom, PTA meetings to Ph.D. dissertations, Black women must step into their natural ability to lead, be respected, be loved and take ownership of their lives. Don't ban the word "bossy". Own it and make it work for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312080782

Book preview

Black, Female & Bossy

Black, Female & Bossy

Owning who you are without compromising your value

Copyright Information

Shannon Baylor-Henderson

ImShannon.com Publishing, LLC

© 2014 by Shannon Baylor-Henderson

All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-312-08078-2

No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher or author.

To my husband Irving and our four sons Jasir, SirRaje, Elijah and Josiah, who witness me as a BFB at my best and at my worst and love me, unconditionally, through it all.

Introduction

The truth is, if you’re a black woman in charge of something or someone, there are probably some things you don’t understand about your position as a leader. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, employee, a stay-at-home mom or a wife, your role as a leader is constantly being challenged or diminished by others. Why? You have three different battles that you’re facing: 1) You’re Black (African-American), 2) You’re a woman and 3) You’re Bossy. Individually, these characteristics are substantial but not overbearing. Combined, you’re a lethal weapon, who demands a lot, but gives just as much.

As an African-American, you naturally carry a lot of weight, which society places on you. You are consistently battling stereotypes and negative representations of your image. You have to fight harder than most races or ethnic groups, just to prove your value or worth to others. You’re considered subpar or second class although you make significant contributions to society, culture and history. You’re overlooked for most advancements simply because of the color of your skin. Although all African-Americans might not have experienced these challenges in harsh or very extreme circumstances, to say that you’ve never experienced the difficulty of breaking barriers due to the color of your skin would be an anomaly.

As a woman, you are considered second place to man, not equally as powerful, not as significant, and only important when a man is leading or preceding you. Women have severe disadvantages because of their genetic makeup and this unnatural belief permeates through this male-driven world. Women are seen as sensitive and emotional beings incapable of direct leadership, stamina, strategic thinking and animal-like instincts. We are expected to nurture without creating emotional connections, give respect without demanding the same, serve without requesting to be honored and produce without demanding value for our products.

Women are seen as trees who bear never-ending, ripe fruit. However, at any time, the significance of our fruit can be looked at as rotten and our trees can be uprooted without consideration—meaning, the things we contribute can be undermined and our value can be stripped without consideration of our importance.

Being bossy, from society’s perspective, means you’re cold, calculated or simply the B-word.  Any woman in charge of something has been viewed as ruthless or as someone who has risen to power by standing on the necks and backs of other women. When it comes to her power, this male-driven society believes that a woman rises to significance by first, submitting to a man sexually, emotionally or mentally and also by diminishing the value of her female comrades or counterparts. Natural leadership is often overlooked and laughed at, because the idea of a woman—a creature with breasts, who was created as a companion to man and supposedly leads with emotion and rationality—can’t possibly dictate, judge, make executive decisions and cry at the same time.

Being Black, female and bossy is a fusion of many challenges and disadvantages—but all of them prove a woman’s tenacity, worth and power. Who else can take a slew of setbacks and deliver breathtaking results? Think about it. We are women--we birth babies, nations and brilliant ideas. We endure pain. We resolve issues with tact and diplomacy. We create sustenance for all who follow and respect us. As a black woman, you double that result. As a black woman who’s bossy, you triple that value.

But, and this is a big but, this book is not about these individual roles. It’s not about cultural difficulties or perspectives. It’s not about gender bias or feminism. It’s not about corporate or entrepreneurial leadership. It’s about harnessing all of your powers as a black, female boss, and owning them without compromising your value. 

There’s a movement to ban the word bossy from a woman’s vocabulary. Why? For some, the movement is valid because the idea of the word bossy is so misconstrued and underappreciated, that removing the word or diminishing its value is supposedly a great method of uplifting a woman and proving that she is bigger than being bossy. For others, it’s a very calculated way of subduing a woman’s power or her ideas of authority, respect and entitlement.

If society can determine that the word and description of the word bossy is equivalent to being a bitch, then no woman will want to be bossy. But what if the word bossy means a woman who dictates what she wants, monitors her progress, puts the right people and opportunities in place and is relentless about her pursuits? If no woman wants bossiness for herself because society and pop culture have convinced