That's So Diva! A Teen Girl's Guide to Loving Herself and Living Beautifully

By Andrea Spoor

Homework. Peer pressure. Self-image. Emotions. Relationships. Friends. Teachers. Hormones. Parents. Bullies. Social media drama. Insecurity. Overwhelm... and, not feeling you are “enough” in so many ways. Can you relate? Teenage girls are going through a lot of changes emotionally, physically, and socially. They are embarking on a new journey of self-discovery, which can be very confusing with all of the pressure, influence, and drama surrounding them. Designed with teenage girls in mind, That’s So Diva! reveals the true power and divine guidance that girls have within – their inner diva. It assures girls that they are not alone and then challenges them to change their current ways of thinking and being so they can change their experiences and successfully manage the dramas of the teenage years. The diva, an essential guiding goddess, empowers girls to use their voice, make healthy choices, and experience more happiness during the teenage years and beyond.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrea Spoor
• Release date: Oct 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005119867

Andrea Spoor

Are Diva’s born or made? According to Andrea Spoor, they are both. Every girl is born a diva with unique gifts, her own brand of beauty, a special inner strength, a captivating spirit, and endless opportunities ahead of her. Did Andrea always feel this way and embrace this concept – not a chance! If she could go back and embrace this concept knowing what she knows now and use the tools she now teaches to teens, would she? Absolutely!Andrea, is a two-time award winning author, certified professional coach, speaker, and leader of empowerment programs for teenage girls. She has dedicated her career to helping teenage girls manage the drama and struggles that these years often present and guides them to make healthy choices that will positively feed their future.Andrea graduated Summa Cum Laude from Regis in Denver, Colorado with degrees in Communication and Psychology, and a certification in Leadership. She is a Certified Professional Coach, NLP Practitioner, and is also a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index through the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching.

Book preview

That’s So Diva!

A Teen Girl’s Guide to Loving Herself and Living Beautifully

Andrea K. Spoor

That’s So Diva! A Teen Girl’s Guide to Loving Herself and Living Beautifully

Published by Magnolia House Publishing

Greenwood Village, CO

Copyright 2019 Andrea K. Spoor. All rights reserved.

This book is meant to provide accurate and authoritative information regarding the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and author are not engaged in rendering psychological or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher/author, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

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Cover by Ali Romley

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All rights reserved by Andrea K. Spoor and Magnolia House Publishing

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Dedication

To my beautiful mother who gave me life and has been a phenomenal example of how to live empowered, strong, loving, and kind. It is a precious gift to be your daughter and to have had such a wonderful mentor.

I love you, Mom.

That’s So Diva!

A Teen Girl’s Guide to Loving Herself and Living Beautifully

Introduction

Hello! My name is Diva, and I will be guiding you through your teenage years. I am a goddess and will be introducing you to your inner goddess. Before you know it, you will be divafied and ready to conquer some of the most difficult and wondrous years of your life.

So what does it really mean to be a diva? Well, I’ve gotten a bad rap over the years. I’ve heard people take my name in vain and say things like "She’s such a diva! She thinks she’s better than everyone else and the whole world revolves around her. Ugh! They misrepresent me and misunderstand me. In fact, I don’t think they are really talking about me. What they should have been saying is She’s so Desdemona!"

You see Desdemona is my evil sister who is fussy, super high-strung, and demanding. She tries to build a wall between your current self and your best self to block you from happiness and success. She certainly doesn’t believe that the rules of kindness, compassion, and courtesy — which are diva traits — apply to her. She takes advantage of girls with low self-esteem by being the mean voice in their heads, telling them terrible things about themselves and making them believe they are not worthy enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or capable enough. She takes advantage of other girls by superficially inflating their egos, making them think they are better than everyone else, and thereby giving them permission to be cruel. She’s that negative voice in your head, and she has built an army of helpers who will gladly feed that negativity. Those helpers show up as the bullies in your life, and Desdemona is their leader.

I, Diva, am the positive voice in your head and heart, leading you to places where you can use your unique beauty and gifts, and shine brightly. I’m the one who whispers possibilities in your ears, inspires you with dreams and visions, protects you with my wisdom, and stirs up excitement within you. I’m the one who reminds you that you’ve so got this, regardless of what anyone else thinks. I’m that faithful piece of you — that piece of you that knows you are exactly where you need to be and on the right path. I’m the one who keeps you strong and yet lovingly soft even when the world around you seems so hardened. I’m the one who inspires you to be a light in the darkness, combat hate with love, and, in a nutshell, the one who guides you on your path to your best, most joyful, and purposeful life.

I’ve been calling out to you all of your life, but you haven’t always been listening. Maybe you think that you haven’t needed me until now. Or maybe Desdemona’s critical inner voice has so affected you that you haven’t chosen to acknowledge me, and the positive personal wisdom I’ve been sharing with you. I think it’s an age thing. You see, you have needed me before but not the same way you are going to need me going forward into your teenage years.

At this age, you are going through a lot of changes emotionally, physically, and socially. You are entering those years in which you are embarking on a new journey of self-discovery, which can be very confusing. You are in that awkward space where you are no longer a child, but you’re not quite an adult yet either. You are becoming more independent but still need the safety net of your parents. You may even be testing some boundaries. You really are on an exciting adventure right now, even though it may seem overwhelming.

Desdemona would never reveal my true purpose and nature, so I’m going to share it with you now. My name, Diva, actually means goddess. Goddesses touch and bless the lives of others with their charisma, beauty, and unique gifts. Every girl has a goddess within her, and every goddess has gifts that are unique to them — attributes that make them shine, light up, and inspire those around them. You see, goddesses want the best for everyone, and they embrace and use their gifts to bring the best to everyone they encounter. There are many famous goddesses but too many to mention. I’ve written a bit about some of my best goddess friends and hope that you will acquaint yourself with them. Think about them on your journey, call on them when you get stuck, and ask yourself, What would a goddess do? They are sure to inspire you:

Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty, is known for enticing people around her with feelings of love. She makes those around her feel cared for and loved and shows them what love really is in the process such as selflessness, forgiveness, compassion, and grace.

Venus is also a goddess of love and beauty, but she has another gift. She is the goddess in charge of modesty. She wants you to be truly seen for the amazing, young woman you are, and she wants you to embrace your divaness too.

Athena, the goddess of war, inspires leadership and power through wisdom, ethics, justice, and the order of civilization. She is a great visionary and has the intellectual ability to see the true nature of a situation and to develop successful strategies. She sees everything as an opportunity, which makes her a great leader and problem solver. When the teen diva collaborates with Athena, win-win outcomes are discovered and created.

Demeter is the goddess of the harvest and possesses great knowledge on the best way to grow and preserve. You might think this is silly, but take some time to consider what this might mean to you as a person. Think of your life as a garden and all that you want to harvest. Demeter can show you where to plant seeds and help you pull the weeds in your garden too.

Hestia, the goddess of hearth and home, guards the fire and maintains a happy home. She centers those around her with her gentle, forgiving, and serene nature. Hestia gives them security and comfort, and she helps them to accept the truths of life with grace.

Freya is a Nordic goddess of love, beauty, health, fertility, war, wealth, divination, and magic. She is also the goddess of death. That might sound scary, but death comes in many forms. For the purpose of this book, we will look at death as letting an attitude or circumstance that isn’t serving your highest divaness be put to rest. She wants you to be your best, and she will help you to let go of the negative and unproductive attitudes that are in your way. Wow! That’s so diva, Freya! Keep us positive!

You might be wondering how these goddesses apply to you as a teenager. I mean, you’re a teenager, right? Well, your teenage years are a building block for the rest of your life. These are the years when you are on a journey of self-discovery. These are the years when you will be envisioning, preparing for, and creating what you want the rest of your life to look like. My goddess friends will inspire you with their gifts, and in the process, they will help you to define your unique gifts and divaness if you consider how they might deal with a situation you may be going through. I, , along with these goddess friends of mine, will help prepare you for what lies ahead. Together, we are better and stronger, and we navigate change for good. As you grow in this process and spend more time with other teen divas, you all will be coming together and doing this too.

My goddess friends and I are known to be funny but also serious. We look at things in light, humorous ways. We laugh at ourselves. We laugh with (not at) others and bring laughter to people. We shine brightly even in the darkest of situations, and we find our strength in kindness and compassion. We are not perfect by any means because we all possess different traits and gifts. In fact, on our own, we are perfectly imperfect, but together we are perfect because we all complement and support each other with our unique gifts.

Before you go any further, I want to say — don’t panic! Like every girl has an inner goddess, every girl also occasionally falls under the influence of Desdemona. It’s normal! Here’s the thing: the minute you know how to recognize the difference between when Desdemona is influencing you, and when I am influencing you, is the minute you will be on the road to making better choices and gaining better control over your life and your happiness.

It’s important for you to recognize how Desdemona’s mean voice shows up in your life and how I, your inner diva’s voice, shows up. Simply put, I will always help you self-instruct, and Desdemona will lead you to self-destruct. I will always encourage you and guide you to live largely, productively, successfully, lovingly, and happily. Desdemona will always try to minimize you and keep you living small.

I can already hear you. You’ve just said, "Whatever! This book is encouraging me to listen to the voice in my head that already makes me feel like a crazy person. This book is stupid." Well, this is a good start then. You see this is a sign that Desdemona’s mean voice already inhabits your mind, and she has convinced you that you are defeated and that nothing could possibly take you out of your miseries. She has convinced you that this is as good as it will ever get for you. That’s her speaking! She is trying to abolish any chance of you becoming your best self, and you are already buying into her nonsense. That’s so not diva!

Here are some ways to know when Desdemona is influencing you:

You are experiencing a lot of drama.

You are procrastinating.

You are anxious, fearful, self-loathing, and full of self-doubt.

You are overly critical of yourself and others.

You find yourself making excuses for why things are not possible; you are being pessimistic instead of optimistic.

You are not taking ownership of your actions and inactions.

You are having trouble with your friends and family.

You are constantly looking for someone or something to blame rather than for solutions.

When I am influencing you:

You will be focused on solutions.

You will experience minimal drama.