Precepts for a Godly Courtship

By Phaedra H. McLaughlin

Finding love is not an easy task for anyone, especially when we live in a hyper-sexualized world. As Christians we are supposed to be in the world, but not of it. So why then do we approach dating in the same manner as the world? "Precepts for a Godly Courtship" is written to help guide you on your path to finding the love God has for you according to His Word. With the help of the Holy Spirit, McLaughlin writes with honesty and candor as she weaves her personal experiences together with Scripture and Godly wisdom addressing the issues that face Christians today who are seeking love. Whether you are a single adult seeking to equip yourself for dating, a member of a Christian book club or ministry, a newly engaged couple, or want to sow this book as a gift into someone's life, your views on contemporary dating will be challenged. Read it today!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 7, 2015
• ISBN: 9781329448827

Book preview

Precepts for a Godly Courtship

Copyright

Precepts for a Godly Courtship

Copyright © 2015 by Phaedra H. McLaughlin 

Excerpt from Precepts for a Marriage Made in Heaven © by Phaedra H. McLaughlin

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted material in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture references are quoted from the Holy Bible, King James Version ®, Copyright © 2001 by Cornerstone Bible Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

First Printing: 2015

ISBN: 978-1-329-44199-6

Phaedra McLaughlin Ministries

www.phaemacmin.com

Please be informed that names have been changed to protect identities where necessary.

Credits

Cover Image: Mega Pixel c/o Shutterstock Photography                                                                 Cover Design: PHM

Dedication

This Book is Dedicated to

My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,

My Dear Husband, Rev. Jameson K. McLaughlin,

and to all the Single Adults in God’s Kingdom.

Acknowledgments

Thank you to The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!  Without You I am nothing, but with You I am more than a conquerer and can do all things in Your strength! Thank You for giving me the vision to write this book.  But above all, I especially thank You for Your unmerited grace, unfathomable mercy, unconditional love, and unselfish sacrifice. I love You!

Thank you to my wonderful, supportive, and kind Husband, Jameson McLaughlin, who reflects God’s love in the flesh!  Thank you for believing in me Babe!  You are my best friend!  I love you!

Thank you to my beautiful Daughter, Charis, for encouraging me to be a woman whom you can respect and admire.  You are a blessing from God that I will cherish always!  Mommy loves you!

Thank you to my Parents, Albert Hairston and Karrissa Freeman, for your unconditional love over the years, for being excellent providers, and for preparing me for life.  Thank you for offering your wisdom (even when I didn’t ask for it), and for taking care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself.  I love you both!

Thank you to my Parents-in-Love, Wesley and Pamela McLaughlin, for your loving support, spiritual guidance, and for raising the awesome man of God I call my husband.  I appreciate all the ways you both have helped us begin our life together.  I love you both!

Thank you to my Friend, Samoa Allen, for proof-reading the rough draft manuscript, and to all the Friends who support Phaedra McLaughlin Ministries!  I pray the Precepts book series intrigues your mind, pricks your heart, and blesses your soul!  May your relationships exemplify agape love in Jesus’ name!  I love you all!

Preface

Every year on my birthday I spend time thinking about the thorns and roses of my life.  How has God blessed me?  How do I show my appreciation to others?  What mistakes have I made, and how can I learn from them?  On the eve of turning thirty-five, I reflected on the events in my life leading up to that very moment and was reminded of my come to Jesus experience that developed long-suffering in the Lord.  

My journey had begun two years earlier when God revealed to me that I wasn’t living up to my full potential – that I hadn’t answered the call that was on my life.  Once I accepted that God alone was the author and finisher of my fate, I got out of His way and let Him have His way.  I made inward changes that produced outward results for how I lived and how I loved.  My life’s narrative ushered in a new chapter, causing me to reassess my former contemporary views on dating.  Along the way, I was challenged to analyze the current state of Christian marriage and family life against the backdrop of a hyper-sexualized society, while comparing it to God’s original design and intention.

As I reflected that evening on the drastic changes I’d already made and the ones I would make, so many thoughts came to mind about how to date in a way that honors God.  I began writing them down in order to process them all.  But before I could finish writing one thought, another one came to mind…then another…and another.  The Holy Spirit was moving faster than I could think or write!  My list soon became something bigger than I’d ever imagined…a book! 

I don’t claim to know all things and have no desire to come off as being preachy.  Therefore, please understand that the advice herein isn’t merely a collection of my own thoughts and experiences, but rather a collection of divine inspiration rooted in the Word of God.  Writing this first book has been a labor of love in the making for five years as I altered the way I viewed myself in Christ, the way I approached relationships, and the way I viewed myself within those relationships.  My hope and prayer is that this book, along with the others in the Precepts Series, Precepts for a Marriage Made in Heaven, and Precepts for Raising Little Angels, will serve as an inspirational guide on how to enter into a courtship where blessings and grace abound (2 Cor. 9:8)!

Introduction

A precept is a rule that is intended to influence our thoughts and actions, much like the Ten Commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai.  God provided the commandments, otherwise known as The Law, to help us live righteously within the boundaries of His perfect will (Exod. 20:1 -17).  Although Christians are no longer under the law, we still respect and utilize the commandments as a barometer by which to govern our lives.

The first four commandments address our relationship with God.  I like to refer to these as a vertical pathway leading from us here on earth, extending to God in heaven.  The following six commandments address our relationships with others, which I refer to as the horizontal pathway spanning from person-to-person, shoulder-to-shoulder here on earth.  Ultimately, when you put these two pathways together of how we’re expected to implement the commandments within relationships, vertically and horizontally, you have the symbol of the cross.  As such, it’s safe to conclude that Jesus should be the center of every relationship, whether it be a relationship between you and God, or one between you and others.  Once you understand and embrace this fact, you’ll begin to manifest the glory of God in your life and relationships.  The precepts that follow are modeled after this concept of the cross being at the center of your relationships.

Now that we’ve addressed what a precept is in relation to this book, let’s discuss the meaning of the less commonly used term courtship.  Before we begin, I want to clarify the difference between dating and courting. Dating is what the world does; courting is what God’s children do.  Dating is casual, has no promise of a future, is often ambiguous, is a hobby some participate in to pass the time, and is not biblically-based.  Dating says, I’m going out with you, but I’m available to see other people too, while courting says, You’re special to me, and I’m only interested in you.  Dating says, I’m not sure where this is going, while courting says, I have plans for us.  Dating says, You are just another number, while courting says, You are number one.  Dating results in a false, insecure love that fades, while courting produces a genuine, healthy love that endures. 

Now you