While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Christian Women

By Nicole R. Baptiste

This book is written for single Christian women and those who are single again and desiring a meaningful relationship and waiting for a life partner. This book introduces meanings that participants assert about their relationship experiences through a research study, which is relevant for readers to identify key attributes and wisdom keys principles that should be considered while waiting for a potential life partner. Both women and men can benefit from the insights from this book, as it is a strategic wisdom tool for males and females whose aspiration is for one of Gods daughters or sons as a life partner. Readers will be enlightened to the uniqueness of the journey and the complexity of the process involved in waiting for and choosing a life partner. This book provides an alternative conceptualization to waiting and is geared to stimulate readers to explore the purpose of waiting, the attitudinal approach to waiting, and the next dimension of the journey from friendship to life partnership.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496914286

Nicole R. Baptiste

Nicole Renee Baptiste, PhD, has been a Christian for eighteen years and describes the message in this book as spiritually relevant for today’s single Christians and those who find themselves single again and looking for a suitable life partner. Nicole is a member of New Hope Christian Assembly, Edmonton, Canada, and throughout her Christian journey, she has held diverse ministries in church in the areas of leading worship, head usher, prayer intercession, and women’s leadership. She is the author of This Is Your Greater Year! A Journey of Waiting on God’s Promises and Treasured Truths for Women’s Faith and Well-Being. You can visit her website on www.nicolerbaptiste.com

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© 2014 Nicole R. Baptiste, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/10/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1430-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1429-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1428-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014909138

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Books Published by

Nicole R. Baptiste, PhD

Bible Translations

Book Endorsements

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Chapter One Introduction

Chapter Two Our Socialization Process

Chapter Three Knowing Who You Are

Chapter Four God Always Protects Purpose

Chapter Five The Benefits to Singleness

Chapter Six What Is a Healthy Relationship?

Chapter Seven Principles and Readiness for a Healthy Relationship

Chapter Eight Friendship

Chapter Nine Qualities Men Are Looking for in a Life Partner

Chapter Ten Qualities Women Are Looking for in a Life Partner

Chapter Eleven Male and Female Needs in a Life Partnership

Chapter Twelve The Professional Woman

Chapter Thirteen The Biological Clock

Chapter Fourteen Broken Relationships

Chapter Fifteen X: Your Ex

Chapter Sixteen Keep Yourself Attractive and Interesting

Chapter Seventeen God Who Has Promised Is Faithful

Chapter Eighteen God’s RSVP

Notes

Reflections

List of Tables

Table 1.1 Male Perspectives on Qualities of

a Potential Life Partner

Table 1.2 Female Perspectives on Qualities of

a Potential Life Partner

Table 1.3 Differences in Life Partner Qualities between

Males and Females

Table 1.4 Lessons Leant from Past Relationships1

Table 1.5 Best Practice Tips to Maintain

Attractiveness and Appeal4

List of Figures

Diagram 1.1. Female Needs in a Life Partner Relationship

Diagram 1.2. Male Needs in a Life Partner Relationship

Books Published by

Nicole R. Baptiste, PhD

This Is Your Greater Year! A Journey of Waiting on God’s Promises

Treasured Truths for Women’s Faith and Well-Being

Bible Translations

The following versions of the Bible are cited in this book:

Most scripture quotations used are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from The Holy Bible, King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise stated, all scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version (NIV).

Book Endorsements

Reverend Cecil U. Quamina, Senior Pastor of First Church of the Open Bible, San Fernando, Trinidad and Tobago

I read While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Christian Women and thank God for Dr Nicole Baptiste’s life and example. Dr Baptiste offers a comprehensive life-giving counsel in an area of need dealing with singleness. She addresses this revered topic with sound biblical research and a life of practice. I believe that God will use this book to be a source of encouragement and blessings to many. This book is a must-read!

Pastor Hazel Richards, Senior Pastor of Foundation Life Church, Couva, Trinidad and Tobago

While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Christian Women can only be described as an awakening. It is a dynamic, revelatory examination of several issues that an individual can encounter while waiting for a life partner. It brings enlightenment to the uniqueness of the journey and unravels the complexity of the processes involved in making choices and decisions. This book serves as an impetus towards change; it challenges the reader to dismantle the normative approach to waiting and to embrace a holistic way of life. This approach encompasses the in utero experience, which is usually ignored; it also examines the socialization process, which is key to understanding adult choices and behavioural patterns while waiting.

It sets the framework for individuals embarking on this journey for the first time, or those who are reliving this position. It carries the potential to stimulate readers to take a fresh look at the way they have been waiting. It also encourages the reader to explore the purpose of waiting, what it is supposed to produce, and its ability to lay a foundation for the next dimension of the journey, which entails friendship and life partnership.

This book is an accurate road map for those who are waiting. For those who have waited before, it provides a way to introspect and retool. Its distinctiveness comes from its holistic presentation that brings in-depth clarity to the reader and fosters a desire to embark on this life-changing journey.

Pastor Miracle Reed, Associate Pastor for Timbers Community Church, Prince George, Canada

Dr Baptiste has done it again! While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Christian Women is a breath of fresh air, in a world where relational literary writings are geared towards the relationship as a whole rather than the two people being whole before entering into a partnership. This book will challenge readers to search their heart concerning God’s perfect will and also to never settle, bend, or give up on what God has promised. I am delighted and overjoyed to have had this great opportunity to be enlightened, encouraged, and challenged to prepare, seek, and pray like never before. Every person who desires to live a whole or complete life as well as being prepared and positioned for their life partner needs to not only read this book but also apply it to everyday living. Life will never look the same.

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This book is dedicated to single Christian women

and those who are single again.

Men can also benefit from the insights from this book,

as it can be a precious jewel in the hands of men

who want to get one of God’s daughters as a life partner.

Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles;

They shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

(Isaiah 40:31 NKJV)

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Foreword

While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Women is a must read for everyone. From a biblical perspective, we know that God did not create us to live in loneliness and isolation. We were created to live in covenant relationships with God and with each other. The most sacred of these is the marriage covenant relationship between a man and a woman. But what do you do when your dreams and desires are dependent upon the obedience of others for their fulfilment? Well, for starters, you continue reading this book. Dr Nicole R. Baptiste has written about life in the context of relationships from conception to adulthood. She has avoided all aspects of condemnation, simplistic answers, and useless jargon. At the same time, she strategically empowers her readers with the knowledge of who they are: uniquely created beings.

While this book was written with a focus on preparing for a healthy relationship with a life partner, the principles and wisdom keys contained herein are applicable to all spheres of life. You may not be single, or you may be single again, but this book is a must read for every person who values having significant meaningful relationships. Male readers can also benefit from the practical, insightful messages that can help them find a life partner. It is evident that we do live in a microwave society; everything has to be right now. Waiting on anything for any length of time has become undesirable. Yet, through no fault of their own, many men and women have found themselves in this very challenging situation of waiting for a life partner. Waiting does not mean sitting idle, in neutral; in fact, waiting is very hard work. There are three questions that must be answered: (1) How does one wait attitudinally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically on God for a life partner? (2) For those who are followers of Christ, why should you wait on God’s leading and provision for a life partner, versus taking matters into your own hands? (3) Should the waiting period extend beyond your desired timeline, will Jesus still be Lord of your life? The answer to these questions and more will be discovered within the confines of these pages.

Dr Baptiste has written with tenderness, transparency, compassion, graciousness, and a relevancy that is applicable to searching people in all stages of the human experience. After I read this book, I did not come away disappointed. To this fact, I graciously recommend this book to anyone desiring a meaningful relationship. It will help everyone waiting for a life partner.

Reverend Seeon B. Smith

Senior Pastor, New Hope Christian Assembly

Edmonton, Canada

Acknowledgements

This book would not have been written without the cooperative effort of the many women and men who willingly and passionately dedicated their time to share their experiences and perspectives on a Christ-centred life partnership. I am grateful to you all and to the four pastors (Bishop Cecil Quamina, Prophetess Pastor Hazel Richards, Reverend Seeon B. Smith, and Pastor Miracle Reed) who gave of their time and spiritual insight to read the book and provide feedback, recommendations, and endorsements. I thank God for your lives and for His sovereignty and guidance during the writing process and for bringing forth purpose in my life.

I am also grateful to all the people who worked with me to meet the deadline when I was writing this book. Special thanks go to Evangelist Vi Nedd-Jackman, a very special friend and woman of God, who provided invaluable support throughout the entire process. I am blessed to have a mother, Mrs Gloria Baptiste, whose prayerful attitude and love is an example of a virtuous Godly woman who single women can emulate. My intention in writing this book is to pass on Wisdom Keys to single Christian women as it relates to a lifelong Christ-centred partnership. It is my prayer that readers will be blessed, enlightened, encouraged, and empowered by the contents of this book, and to God be the glory.

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Chapter One

Introduction

Isaiah 49: 15-16

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me".

T his book, While Waiting for a Life Partner: Wisdom Keys for Single Christian Women, focuses on healing and revolutionizing the thoughts of single Christian women as they relate to a successful Christ-centred life partnership. It is also a precious jewel in the hands of a Godly man who is praying for one of God’s daughters as a life partner. This book highlights some wisdom keys that are geared to breaking strongholds, developing knowledge, and understanding factors that should be considered before, during, and after courtship and eventually in a marriage relationship. Wisdom keys speak to the emotional intelligence required by single women to develop the whole person spiritually, psychologically, intellectually, physically, socially, and physiologically. The audience for this book is Christian women who are single: whether they have never been married or are single again. However, men can also benefit from the insights and wisdom keys found in this book. Single Christian women expect certain qualities in a life partner, but this is seldom discussed. Even further, best practice for readiness for a life partner relationship is rarely explored in Christian circles. As such, this book seeks to address these gaps. It is also a response to the author’s personal experience of singleness and being challenged by God on how she will treat one of His sons as a life partner.

This book draws from research that was conducted with Christian women and men seeking their perspectives as it relates to qualities they are seeking in a life partner. Interviews were conducted with a total of thirty-four single Christian women. These women were from all over the world (Asia, the United States, Canada, Indonesia, Australia, Eastern Europe, Russia, the Caribbean, Africa, New Zealand, Netherlands, South Africa, and the UK). The women were of different ages, cultures, educational backgrounds, and level of accomplishments. They were asked to share their perspectives on the qualities that they are looking for in a life partner; to give some insight on what they hope to achieve in life; and to discuss how past relationships ended and the lessons learnt from these experiences that can help them with current and future relationships. The respondents were also asked their perspectives about how they would engage and interact with a life partner to promote a happy relationship.

It is important to have insight into what Christian men are looking for in a wife or life partner. The Bible says that ‘he that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord’ (Proverbs 18:22). This implies that a man has to search out