If You're Lonely: Finding Your Way
By Alan Wolfelt
()
About this ebook
Read more from Alan Wolfelt
Complicated Grief:: How to Understand, Express, and Reconcile Your Especially Difficult Grief Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Grief After Homicide: Surviving, Mourning, Reconciling Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNature Heals: Reconciling Your Grief through Engaging with the Natural World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsToo Much Loss: Coping with Grief Overload Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Grief of Infertility Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnderstanding Your Grief after a Drug-Overdose Death Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSympathy & Condolences: What to Say and Write to Convey Your Support After a Loss Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsExpected Loss: Coping with Anticipatory Grief Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe A Leader's Manual for Demential Care-Partner Support Groups Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to If You're Lonely
Related ebooks
Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Companion Through The Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Understanding Your Grief Journal: Exploring the Ten Essential Touchstones Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFirst Aid for Broken Hearts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGetting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Healing a Child's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends and Caregivers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Mourner's Book of Courage: 30 Days of Encouragement Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Healing Your Grieving Body: 100 Physical Practices for Mourners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLife After Losses: A Memoir of Self-Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnderstanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Grief Walk: Losing, Grieving, and Journeying on to Something New Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDo You Want to Be Well? A Memoir of Spiritual Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Depression of Grief: Coping with Your Sadness and Knowing When to Get Help Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Grief Survival Handbook: A Guide from Heartache to Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading a Bereavement Support Group Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrief Recovery: A Workbook for Widows and Widowers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLiving in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Grief: Step into the Light Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA GPS For Grief and Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Healing Your Grieving Heart Journal for Teens Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Mourner's Book of Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsComfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart: Hope and Healing After Losing Your Partner Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sudden Loss Survival Guide: Seven Essential Practices for Healing Grief (Bereavement, Suicide, Mourning) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Voice of An Angel: A Mother's guide to grief and how to thrive after the loss of a child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Wilderness of Grief: Finding Your Way Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHealing Your Grieving Soul: 100 Spiritual Practices for Mourners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsExpected Loss: Coping with Anticipatory Grief Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to Help You Heal After Loss Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHealing Your Grieving Heart for Kids: 100 Practical Ideas Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Personal Growth For You
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-outs, and Triggers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Reviews for If You're Lonely
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
If You're Lonely - Alan Wolfelt
Rights
WELCOME
The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.
—Norman Cousins
Loneliness hurts. It may feel like a twinge, a yearning, or an emptiness. It might be more pronounced at certain times than others, or it may be a constant dull ache.
Human beings are social creatures. While each of us is a capable, autonomous individual, we are not meant to exist for very long individually. Since time began, we’ve lived in social groups. We are built to interact with and rely on others. As a species, we developed highly complex languages—spoken and written—for the purpose of communicating with one another. We divvy up tasks and specialized skills among us because we appreciate that living well is a community effort.
Neurologically, we are also constructed to understand each other’s emotions. We have mirror neurons in our brains that fire not only when we ourselves have a certain experience but also when we witness or hear about someone else having that same experience. We are built for empathy, connection, and love.
If you have been feeling lonely, whether all of the time or some of the time, this book is for you. It’s possible to find your way out of loneliness. You are a worthy person who needs and deserves connection.
LONELINESS TODAY
To connect to others is a biological need. It ties back to the idea that to be a part of a group is adaptive to survival.
—Aspen Ideas
One of the great ironies of human life today is that even though there are more of us on this earth than ever, and even though technology has theoretically given us more ways to be connected with one another than ever, many of us have never felt more alone.
We are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. It’s a crisis that cuts across cultures, continents, and classes. Britain has added a Minister for Loneliness to its federal government. In the United States, thirty-five percent of adults over the age of forty-five report feeling lonely. In one recent Cigna survey, over half of Americans said they always or sometimes feel that no one knows them well. And young people are lonely, too. Some studies have found that Millennials and Generation Z are the loneliest of all.
That’s the grand scale of the problem. The intimate, personal scale of the problem is the one you may be all too familiar with. That’s what we’re here to talk about: your loneliness, and what you can do about it.
WHAT IS LONELINESS?
Loneliness is the feeling of being empty, alone, and unwanted. It’s the discomfort or pain of wanting connection with other human beings but not having it. It’s an internal response to an external experience (or lack thereof).
We’ll tease apart the various facets of loneliness in a bit, but for now I’ll just say that from the outside looking in, loneliness is often invisible and undetectable. Not everyone who is lonely is alone. Some