The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes: The Best of the Worst Dad Jokes for the Painfully Punny Parent301 Jokes!

By Chronicle Books Digital

The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes features 301 wonderfully cringe-worthy dad jokes—including the classics, twists on the classics, and fresh new material.

For the first time ever, the best of the worst dad jokes are compiled in one pun-filled place. With original illustrations throughout, this extensive collection is sure to provide hours of silliness for the whole family. After all, no matter how groan-inducing dad jokes are, they will always have a special place in the joke arsenal.

• Contains dozens of interesting tidbits, joke-telling pointers, and profiles of legendary dad jokers
• Features jokes from "I'm on a seafood diet , , , I see food and I eat it" to "I used to hate facial hair . . . but now it's growing on me"
• Great for fathers, patient mothers, tolerant children, and anyone else who loves a pun

They make us cringe, chuckle, and roll our eyes, but we all love a wonderfully corny dad joke.

The Essential Compendium of Dad Jokes is so bad it's good, ensuring loads of laughter for the whole family.

• A hilarious book for dads and dads at heart, as well as pun and dumb joke lovers
• Add it to the collection of books like 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes by Elias Hill, Jokes Every Man Should Know (Stuff You Should Know) by Don Steinberg, and Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Dad Jokes by Share The Love Gifts

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chronicle Books Digital
• Release date: Mar 3, 2020
• ISBN: 9781452184135

Book preview

FOR DADDY, AKA HUDSON,

WHO ALWAYS HAS A CORNY JOKE

UP HIS SLEEVE

Copyright © 2020 by Maria Ribas Literary, LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

ISBN 978-1-4521-8413-5 (epub, mobi)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-8279-7 (hardcover)

Design by Jon Glick.

Chronicle Books LLC.

680 Second Street

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.chroniclebooks.com

CONTENTS

1: WISECRACKING IN THE WILD

8

2: TECHNOLOGICALLY TRAGIC AND SCIENTIFICALLY UNSOUND

66

3: FUNNY FOODSTUFFS

94

4: TOMFOOLERY FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

132

5: THE ARTS AND THE COMEDIC ARTIST

176

6: BODILY (UN)FUNCTIONS AND (LACK OF) GROOMING

204

7: EVERYDAY EMBARRASSMENTS

226

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

272

ONE:

WISECRACKING IN THE WILD

In my career as a lumberjack, I’ve cut exactly 2,324 trees.

Every time I chop one down, I keep a LOG.

If you ever encounter a GIANT,

make sure to use big words.

Why is it always COLD in stadiums?

Because they’re full of fans!

My wife saw an ANT pick up a LEAF five times its weight and said, Can you imagine being that strong?

So

I picked up

the leaf

and said,

Yes.

What do you call a cow with TWO legs?

Lean beef.

If the cow has NO legs,

then it’s ground beef.

How many tickles does it take to make an OCTOPUS laugh?

Ten-tickles.

You know what the LOUDEST pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

What do you get when you cross a SNOWMAN