Difference Maker: Overcoming Adversity and Turning Pain into Purpose, Every Day
By Gary Roe
()
About this ebook
You've been lied to. It's time to embrace the truth.
You've been hit and wounded. Life hasn't turned out to be what you expected, wanted, or hoped for. No one seems to care. You feel alone and isolated.
Something is wrong. You can sense it. Your heart says, "There's got to be more."
Yes, there is.
It's time to turn things around. It's time to expose the lies you've been fed about yourself and embrace the truth.
What's the truth?
You're a Difference Maker. And it's time to start living that way.
For more than 30 years, multiple award-winning author and speaker Gary Roe has been helping teens and adults heal from past wounds, discover who they are, and live with passion and purpose. With more than a dozen books and 600 articles in print, he has become a trusted, inspirational voice to thousands of wounded hearts.
"Life is about overcoming," Gary frequently says. Join him on the Difference Maker journey. You'll be glad you did.
In Difference Maker, you'll discover...
- The incredible power lies have had over you and your heart.
- What the common lies are out there, and how they are affecting you.
- How to expose the lies you've been fed, one by one.
- The truth about yourself and those around you.
- How to embrace the truth and begin to think and live differently.
As you choose to think differently and begin to heal and grow, you'll also learn...
- How to conquer obstacles like fear, anxiety, anger, depression, self-harming behavior, and suicidal thoughts.
- Why you're here and what your mission is.
- How to avoid thoughts, behavior, and habits that threaten your wellbeing and will scuttle your mission.
- How to embrace healthy, mission-building thoughts, behavior, and habits that will propel you forward.
- How to live with more purpose and passion than you dreamed possible.
No matter what has happened to you or around you, you can heal and grow. You can overcome adversity and turn pain into purpose, every day. You can transform losses into gains. Difference Maker can show you how.
You are a Difference Maker. The world needs you. Accept the challenge. Let the Difference Maker adventure begin.
Gary Roe
Kevin Carey, founder of thegriefguide.org and Diamond Grief Groups, is a grief management specialist and hospice chaplain who has been a trusted voice in grief recovery with a message of hope and healing to wounded hearts for the past three decades. In addition to being a former mental health therapist and minister, Kevin brings a pastoral approach to bereaved individuals through the difficult seasons of life.
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Difference Maker - Gary Roe
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my early mentors:
Ronnie Rogers, Tom Harrison, and Lendol Calder.
You dared to believe I was a Difference Maker.
Thank you.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Special thanks to my lovely wife Jen, for her unwavering support and encouragement. You play such a massive role in all I do and in everything I write. You are a blessing beyond description.
Special thanks to Kathy Trim, Anni Welbourne, and Kelli Reynolds for their editing prowess and continual support, project after project. Your attention to detail makes such a huge difference.
Thanks to Dr. Craig Borchardt, CEO of Hospice Brazos Valley, for his continual support of my writing. Thank you for keeping me focused on the bigger picture and helping me think outside the box.
Thanks to Glendon Haddix and Streetlight Graphics for bringing this manuscript to life with superb artwork and formatting. You make us all look good.
Thank you, Difference Makers. I’m honored to know you.
THE DIFFERENCE MAKER GPS
(Where We’re Going)
Part One: Gearing Up for Battle
Part Two: Exposing the Bad Stuff
(Rejecting the Lies That Hold You Back)
Part Three: Embracing the Good Stuff
(Believing the Truths That Propel You Forward)
Part Four: Hurdling Obstacles
(Conquering Things That Trip You Up)
Part Five: Mission Launch!
(Discovering Why You’re Here and Living Your Purpose)
Table of Contents
DEDICATION
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
THE DIFFERENCE MAKER GPS(Where We’re Going)
WHAT THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT(What You’ll Get Out of This, If You’re Willing)
PART ONE: GEARING UP FOR BATTLE
Chapter One FIGHT!
Chapter Two A TALE OF BATTLE
PART TWO:EXPOSING THE BAD STUFF (Rejecting the Lies That Hold You Back)
Chapter Three LIES, LIES, AND MORE LIES
Chapter Four I’M UNLOVABLE
Chapter Five I’M WORTHLESS
Chapter Six I’M NOT ENOUGH
Chapter Seven I’M ALONE
Chapter Eight I’M DAMAGED
Chapter Nine I’M INVISIBLE
Chapter Ten I’M UGLY
Chapter Eleven IT’S ALL SOMEONE ELSE’S FAULT
PART THREE: EMBRACING THE GOOD STUFF (Believing Truths that Propel You Forward)
Chapter 12 I’M VALUABLE
Chapter 13 I’M NOT PERFECT
Chapter 14 IT’S NOT ABOUT MY APPEARANCE
Chapter 15 I CAN HEAL
Chapter 16 I’M SIGNIFICANT
Chapter 17 I’M LOVABLE
Chapter 18 I’M FAR FROM ALONE
PART FOUR HURDLING THE OBSTACLES (Conquering Things That Can Trip You Up)
Chapter 19 Big Deaths, Little Deaths, and Other Bad Stuff
Chapter 20 Anger
Chapter 21 Fear and Anxiety
Chapter 22 Sadness, Depression, and Suicidal Thoughts
PART FIVE LAUNCHING YOU ON YOUR MISSION! (Discovering Why You’re Here and How to Live Your Purpose)
Chapter 23 MISSION CRISIS!
Chapter 24 MISSION DEFINED
Chapter 25 MISSION BUSTERS
Chapter 26 MISSION BUILDERS
Chapter 27 MISSION LAUNCH!
Chapter 28 WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?
Chapter 29 PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Chapter 30 MY AMAZING DIFFERENCE-MAKING MENTOR
RESOURCES FOR DIFFERENCE MAKERS
FREE ON GARY’S WEBSITE
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
AN URGENT REQUEST
WHAT THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT
(What You’ll Get Out of This, If You’re Willing)
I was 16 years old.
I had been hit too many times. I was stunned, frustrated, and confused. I was depressed, but I didn’t know what that was.
Life had become harsh. Painful. Confusing. I began wondering if life was worth it.
I engaged in risky behavior. Things were going downhill. Then I caught a break. A big one.
I woke up.
I realized the world was broken. The brokenness seemed to be everywhere and in everything.
I realized that people were broken. All of them. Even the ones who looked like they had it all together.
I realized I was broken.
Then I got angry.
I decided to act. I might be broken, but I wasn’t going to be a doormat for depression, anxiety, or fear.
I decided to become a Difference Maker.
I didn’t know I was making this decision at that time. I just wanted things to be different. I believed things could be different.
So, I started doing things differently.
I decided to take the pain and adversity I encountered and turn it into something good, somehow, some way.
That saved my life.
I’ve grown, and I’m still growing. I’ve healed, and I’m still healing. Difference-making isn’t easy, but it’s always good.
What You’ll Get Out of This Book
Here are some of the things you’ll get out of this book, if you’re willing:
You’ll learn a lot about yourself.
You’ll discover that much of what you struggle with has to do with lies you’ve been fed and bought into along the way. We’ll expose those lies.
You’ll learn what’s really true about you and what to do with that.
You’ll learn how to overcome obstacles that threaten to trip you up or even take you out.
You’ll discover how absolutely crucial and critical it is to discover and define your mission. We’ll do that together.
You’ll learn why you’re here and what to do with that.
By the end of this book, you’ll hopefully be able to look in the mirror and say, I’m a Difference Maker.
And when you really believe that, you’ll begin to live it out.
Difference-making is a journey. It doesn’t happen with the click of a mouse. You don’t get there overnight. There is no magic pill for this. But you can start making a difference today.
Yes, today. Immediately.
Are you game?
I hope so. The world needs you.
PART ONE:
GEARING UP FOR BATTLE
Prepare for battle.
The world is tough. Life can be brutal.
You’ve been hit and wounded.
You don’t have to let what happened control your life.
Stand up. Take a deep breath.
Prepare to fight.
Chapter One
FIGHT!
I’m inviting you — asking you — to fight.
Fight for yourself. Fight for those you care about. Fight for all those around you. Fight to make a difference in a broken and hurting world that desperately needs you.
Yes, you.
You can make far more of a difference than you realize.
Difference-making has little to do with, in my opinion, how much money you have, what kind of place you live in, how talented you are, or your level of education.
Difference-making is about your heart. We all have one of those. Anyone can be a Difference Maker, anytime, anywhere.
You might feel depressed, anxious, worthless, and deeply wounded. That might be how you feel now, but now is not the future. One of the greatest lies we can believe is, It will always be this way.
The companion lie that follows it is even more devastating: I will always be this way.
Lies.
Now is not forever. Things will change. You can change. You can heal and grow.
Again, I’m asking you to fight. You’re worth it. So are those around you.
What’s this battle all about?
This battle — the right to become the Difference Maker you were designed to be — is all-important. It is a fight for your heart.
We’ll talk more about this later. For now, I’ll just say this...
Your heart is your most prized possession. All of your life comes from it, one way or another. What you do with your heart is the most important thing about you.
Your heart wants to be significant and to make a difference. Deep down, you know you were made for impact. You long for purpose and meaning.
This battle is about finding and unearthing your heart.
Maybe your heart has been buried. Perhaps it’s suffocating. It gets pounded every day with powerful messages, traumatic images, and an overwhelming amount of information. The world spins quickly. Life moves with blazing speed. You get hit, hurt, and wounded. The world drags on, and pulls you along with it.
You’ve been hyperventilating inside without even knowing it. You’re nervous. Anxious. Scared.
Inside, way down deep, your heart is screaming.
Your heart is in danger.
If you don’t act, the world and the hits of life will likely silence it. You can’t afford to let that happen.
You must find your heart. You must dig it out from amid all the debris it’s buried under.
You must free your heart. When you do, difference-making will become automatic.
Freeing the heart, however, isn’t easy, quick, or simple. At first, it’s easy to confuse the world’s voice with your own. You’ve gotten used taking in messages from the outside. If these messages are powerful and frequent enough, you can begin believing them. You begin to hear messages that did not come from you in your own voice.
This is the gutsiest part of the fight. The battlefield is your mind.
You must become aware of and expose the lies you’ve been living. We’ll do that together.
Then you must discover the truth about yourself and those around you. We’ll do that together too.
Then you must believe and begin to live out who you really are, from your heart. We’ll talk about how to do that.
As you do these things, you’ll find yourself living more and more from your heart. You’ll become more of who you were designed and destined to be.
You’ll be a Difference Maker.
The battle is on. Let the journey begin.
This is a journey. It’s a fight.
It’s not easy. It might even get unbelievably hard at times.
Fight on. Stay the course. Your heart is worth it.
Fight against living a small and shrinking life.
Fight against going through the motions and living on auto-pilot.
Fight against hiding and living according to everyone else’s expectations.
Fight against letting your heart be overly influenced by what others have done or said.
Fight against letting your mind be controlled by what has happened to you or around you.
Fight for yourself. Fight for those you love and care about.
Fight for your heart.
You’ll be glad you did. So will everyone else around you.
Let’s get going. The world