Life Is Not Unfair, It's Meant to Be

By Esther Kibunja

If you are going through a painful situation, you may feel trapped, helpless, and powerless. Having been there myself, and wishing I could have found somebody or something to explain the reasons I was going through my painful situation, I found very little help in what I was searching for.

This book is written to help you ease some of the pain you are experiencing. It is for those feeling lost, confused, and sorry for themselves, and those who think theyre the only ones going through a particular trial. In this book, you will find helpful guidance that helped me in my own struggles and which others have successfully used to alleviate their own pain. Life is about making choices. If you are hurting in any area of your life, you have two choices: you can choose to go on drowning in pain and misery, wishing for some magic to happen, or you can wake up and determine to do whatever it takes to find help.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452580456

Esther Kibunja

Esther endeavors to provide hope and prove that healing is possible to those who have suffered greatly. Life, according to her, is about making choices. Esther now lives the life she loves and hopes to inspire others to do the same. She is a doctor of nutrition and holds a master’s degree in holistic nutrition. She is a colon hydrotherapist and a nutritional counselor. She is the mother of three grown children and has four grandchildren. She resides in St. Louis, Missouri.

Book preview

PART ONE

CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

"Patience child patience. Remember, life is a journey.

If you got everything you wanted all at once there’d be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you’ll see these ‘setbacks’ as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach; stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek." by Jackson Kiddard

W hen something precious to you has been taken away from you, it is difficult to live each aching moment of pain and sorrow. This is the most frightening and darkest place you have ever been. It can be devastating and makes you wonder whether things will ever be normal again. You feel disoriented, confused and lonely. You cry, scream, pray and have sleepless nights wondering whether anybody knows, cares or understands your pain. Life loses its meaning. Is there something wrong with you? You have never felt like this before.

When going through these life-changing events, you may wonder how you will survive the excruciating pain and fear of the unknown. You may feel stuck and confused about what to do next. Everyone will experience a setback, a loss, a sickness, or something similar during the course of their lifetime. It’s a very uncomfortable and scary time because it forces you to leave your comfort zone and travel into the unknown. There is a tendency to go back to the familiar. In trying to hold on to what is familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. Letting go is very important, by doing so you let happiness in. Letting go is not an easy undertaking. It is not a one-time decision but rather a day to day, moment-by moment commitment. A commitment that involves changing the way you handle your situation.

There are many reasons why you find yourself in this dilemma. For example, you just got married to the man of your dreams and immediately got pregnant which brings so much joy to both of you. There is excitement and expectation but when the time comes to deliver the baby, the doctor realizes that there is something wrong with the baby. He assures you that it’s nothing serious but he needs to run some tests. He comes back with the bad news; the baby is down-syndrome. Your world caves in. Why my baby, why me, and why now? Or, you landed the job you have been waiting for, with good pay and very good prospects for the future. Your boss thinks you are the best worker they’ve ever had and you receive compliments daily for your job performance. You moved to a much bigger apartment to have space for new furniture you just purchased. Life is good. Then boom, one day you are called to the Human Resources office. Sorry, but we have bad news for you; the company must downsize immediately. You are one of those affected by the restructuring and must leave the company in two weeks. You find yourself totally unprepared. You have maxed out your credit cards and borrowed money to furnish your apartment with a plan to pay later. You might also experience a dramatic change through a relationship break-up, a cancer diagnosis or a loss in the family.

Whatever the reason, I have come to realize that lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt, lives fall apart when the foundation upon which they are built needs to be restructured. Lives fall apart not because God is punishing us for what we have or have not done, lives fall apart because they need to. Sometimes things seem to work for a while, and then when you start getting comfortable, they fall apart, again and again. The healing comes from allowing room for all this to happen. It’s accepting the situation without resistance, going through the pain of the loss, facing fear head on and embracing the joy that comes with it.

CHAPTER 2

WHY TELL MY STORY NOW

U ntil now, I have never shared my story. It has always been my innermost secret. I now feel compelled to share it, because I am healed and no longer feel trapped in my past. I believe people are best helped by those who have had similar experiences, and overcome them. I want to provide hope to others and prove to them that healing is possible, even those who have suffered greatly. In this book, I endeavor to provide help on your difficult path, thus making your journey easier, less painful and faster.

When my life started falling apart, nobody on the outside had a clue that I was so unhappy. My façade was one of a brilliant and charismatic woman with a very lucrative health and wellness business. Being a Doctor of Nutrition, my job was to teach people how to take responsibility of their lives and health, but I was unable to find purpose in my own. In spite of all appearances, my life was ebbing away. Through my trials and tribulations, it became clear to me that there are all kinds of people who may look good on the outside, they appear to be very happy and successful, but inside they are full of pain and dying. We oftentimes don’t realize that until something drastic happens to them. Most individuals, like me, hide their pain with designer clothes, big homes, fancy cars, successful careers and businesses. Many married couples may look very happy on the outside but are actually on the verge of devastating and painful divorces. Even family and close friends may never really know what is happening on the inside of these couple’s lives.

People can become confused and not know how to come out of these painful situations; they may feel helpless and powerless. Having been there myself, I wish I could have found somebody that could have explained to me the reasons why this happened. I needed direction as to how I could help myself, and was finding very little help in what I was searching for.

This book is written to help you, the reader, ease some of the pain you are experiencing. It is for those of you feeling lost, confused or sorry for yourselves and those who think they are the only ones going through some particular trial. In the following pages, I will share my journey through crisis and the most important things that helped me to untangle my life. Other people have used these guidelines to successfully alleviate their own pain. By following these guidelines, you too will make wise decisions which will bring positive changes in your life in a way you never thought possible. Talking about these guidelines may be easy but it wasn’t easy to follow them. I messed up so many times but these principles always put me back on