Heart Felt Lyrics and Schizophrenia Choices

By Doug Pargeter

My song lyrics and journal reveal truth about my mental health and provide stability, comfort and inspiration. Lyrics are country songs reflecting lifes experiences and treasures. Suffering and miracles in my life have taught me truth. The secular movement has eroded basic Christian values in mental health. Recovery is possible for mental illness and alcoholism when you understand youre self and how your higher power can intervene. Love can make the difference with paranoia when you know youre self. Privacy is threatened. Never give up hope, always be vigilant Israeli PM. Hitler took over using government health care against the people, will it happen to us? We are at war for our liberty and freedom of religion and also health care freedom.
[e-mail], other books http://www.dougpargeterbooksandlyrics.vpweb.com
In my lyrics I reflected on the renewing of relationships. My relationships were stormy due to the nature of the illness but decided to let my wife know I had schizophrenia beforehand the last time creating trust where I needed it allowing her to put up with my paranoia. I have suffered as Job and regained much that I lost and I hope to share my success with the world thru my books and song lyrics which has become therapy to me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491849569

Doug Pargeter

The Devil must have known I would be a disturber of his kingdom because of all the opposition I received in my life from nearly dying twenty two times to being stricken with two kinds of schizophrenia of which I have triumphed over due to my faith. My family was discouraged from being part of my life but I kept my self busy in spite of my illness writing books singing and song writing. Going back to my childhood I almost drowned when I was a toddler, when I was eight year old I was almost smothered to death when my underground fort caved in around me and my father saved me. After that there were twenty attempts on my life and God was there to save me he had just each time. I could feel his loving presence many times and hear his voice saying he had just saved my life. Sometime adversity can weaken a spiritual person if they do not have their heart set on the things of God and sometimes he tests us to see if we will prove ourselves if we will do all things he asks of us. Knowing he wanted me to write my experiences soon adversity arose. I had to go thru divorces and being put in a nursing home falsely because the medication was toxic to me. I spent twenty years on a medication which didn’t stop my symptoms and was covered up in favor of the manufacturer and bonuses at the VA because it was widely utilized. This led to divorces due to my paranoia. What Joy I felt as I was given the right medication and also healed from the paranoia thru my faith in Christ. I was born in Seattle WA in 1949 and grew up there in the same home my parents lived in for all their married life unlike myself who moved a lot of times. I was gifted with my hands and learned to build at an early age, I could build a motor bike and a boat and trailer or a house by the time I was in high school because of my creativity. My creativity allowed me to design and build several houses. I developed my education into a Bachelors of Science equivalent and became a Design Engineer and manager for Northrop, Los Angeles CA. My song writing ability took off later in my life and started to develop my own song over 20 years and still want to publish some for the 120 of them to marketable CD’s. I included them in my books though while living in our spacious country home in La Vernia TX. After becoming disabled in 1993 I spent a lot of time attending group at the South Texas VA Health Center for treatment not and found a doctor that finally believed in me and got me the right medication which was aided by the Lord and a miracle no longer suffering from paranoia due to my blessing from the Lord. There was thought to be no cure for schizophrenia and I was so happy that I had paranoia no more. I also contact prostate cancer which the prostate was removed completely with a 30% chance that it would return again. But after the surgery when I was in great pain so much that the morphine wasn’t enough the Lord came to me and touched me and healed me I knew he was there because of his greater overwhelming feeling of love which I felt at the time. The results I have been cancer free with no chance of it returning for 7 years. I had never felt such pure love as strong as I did that day which took away my pain and brought me peace and comfort but it made me feel weak when he was gone. I lost my mother at 91 years old a few years later and he had led a good life a righteous life and went to meat her God and friend I will publish her family History and genealogy work and give it to my children to bring them close to me. I have filled three missions for my church and served in the priesthood for most of my life and later in my life as a High Priest in the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I have baptized my five children, many friends into the church giving me much Joy and happiness. Somehow thru my poor example of anger while my children were living with me caused them to be victims estranged to me later in life. Some things you just can’t take back and undue even with great faith because you can’t take their agency from them to choose for themselves and I repent and I’m greatly sorry and hope my book will reach their hearts some day and they will return to me. My life is full now and the Lord is with me in my decisions as an Author of four books singer and song writer as well as my marriage and being a disabled veteran I also serve in the priesthood.

Book preview

Heart Felt Lyrics

And Schizophrenia Choices

Doug Pargeter

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AuthorHouse™ LLC

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2014 Doug Pargeter. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse   03/19/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4918-4955-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-4956-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014900414

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter—1

There’s a poison going on—1

There’s a red moon a risen—2

Start the juke box—3

I love you too—4

Love and fear—5

Your beautiful—6

Now and forever—7

The tool box—8

Summer night—9

On the rooftops of life—10

You don’t know anything about me—11

I’m a romantic—12

The power of the night—13

I’ve been thru it—14

It’s not the same without you—15

Love on the rebound—16

The prophets aren’t crazy—17

Pure country girl—18

Someone else’s love—19

I’ve got a message—20

Take my mind of the pain—21

Love in motion—22

Green eyes-23

Bring your love around-24

Till then—25

Like a river—26

Keep smiling it’s your day—27

I’ve missed you—28

The sun may not rise—29

I’m dreaming—30

Light my way back—31

Living alone again—32

Your love is all I see—33

You’re sparkling at me—34

More than true—35

Hang gliding—36

Reflections o you—37

Seeing her over there—38

She’s country tonight—39

The rain is falling down—40

Guess whose singing—41

This love is forever—42

You’ll always be my son—43

This time—44

I’m feeling love say good by—45

My child—46

Love is our answer—47

Life’s greatest choice—48

I cherish the thought of you—49

She’s waiting patiently—50

PTSD blues—51

She’s watching real close—52

Yesterday’s child—53

I’m here to love you—54

Let the road be your friend—55

Fireman—56

Someone else’s love—57

She’s loving—58

Forgiveness is golden—59

Chapter—2: My Schizophrenic Mind

Chapter—3: Living with Schizophrenia

Chapter—4: Medical Affects

Chapter—5: Poor Treatment

Chapter—6: Hospital Fallout

Chapter—7: Nursing Home

Chapter—8: Paranoid Traits

Chapter—9: Relationships

Chapter—10: Hobbies Work and Love

Chapter—11: Looks Paranoid

Chapter—12: Recovery/Alcoholism and Psychosis

Chapter—13: Summary

Chapter—14: Be prepared for the last days

Chapter—1

There’s a poison going on—1

They say a man’s home is his castle

But darling you took that from me

Innocent minds

Have been changed for all time

For everyone to see

There’s a poison going on over me

(chorus)

There’s a poison

There’s a poison

Over my memory

Why don’t they leave it alone?

Not pick it to the bone

There’s a poison going on over me

They say a man’s home is his castle

I built it to make you happy

Instead I’m out of my mind

Haven’t got a dime, my back is broke

And I’m chocking on what I see

There’s a poison going on over me

They say a man’s home is his castle

But I lost it so long ago

What ever your alarm

Wasn’t worth the harm

To the children and my memory

There’s a poison going on over me

(repeat chorus)

They say a man’s home is his castle

My kids are all strangers to me

You fill them with a potion

That causes great emotion

They think it’s the truth

But there’s no proof

So they recall only what you see

They say a man’s home is his castle

But baby that dream didn’t come true

So I’m sitting right here

Holden back a tear

It will drown my memory of you

Watching the day my kids

Find a way back from you

They say a man’s home is his castle

My new life is far from you now

You can’t reach me here

It isn’t worth it my dear

The poison is only hurting you

There’s a red moon a risen—2

Growth will likely slow

The economy won’t grow

Wall Street in a fear

To heck with prosperity my dear

Just open your wallet and see

Most have 8 more credit cards than me

The cost to invest my son

Leaves us profitless

It affects the bottom line

Nearly all the time

Just because they can’t see

The true cost that credit can be

(chorus)

There’s a red moon arisen

He’s looking over the horizon

It’s a sign of what’s to be

The whole world can see

True its easy buying

But soon there left crying

Unable to find a way free

And when they go down

They have found

A blast to the economy

No help in sight

Money’s tight

Everyone’s credit buying you sees

It’s a burden to prosperity

A credit buying incompetency

A tragedy to marriage and industry

When you think of changing

Remember the margin

You’ll make history

Credit blasting the economy

Caused a million plus bankruptcies

First time in history

(repeat chorus)

You probably hate this song

Cause you’ve gone along

With a false economy

It’s not what it should be

Not how Benjamin, Tom and Patrick

Meant it should be

Start the juke box—3

Whenever I get down

Her memory comes around

And I’m as sad as I can be

Start the juke box

Sing a sad song with me

(chorus)

Whenever I see you smile

My mind paint’s a picture for a while

Of sweet ecstasy, oh baby

Just worm up to me

Start the juke box

Sing a sad song with me

Whenever you get mad

Because life’s sad

The kids have gone mad

And you have had all you can from me

Start the juke box

Sing a sad song with me

(repeat chorus)

Whenever you can’t find

Enough time, haven’t got a dime

Life’s unkind, just look at me

Start the juke box

Sing a sad song with me

Oh start the juke box

Sing a sad song with me

(repeat everything)

I love you too—4

I love you too

Is what she’d say each day

I love you too

Helped time to pass away

Those were the nicest words

I’d here her say

I love you too

Would bring a tear my way

One cold and rainy night

I love you too

Just didn’t seem right

It was in the fall I went away

A broken heart missing her each day

I love you too

She used to say

(chorus)

I love you too darling dear

Those were the nicest words I’d ever hear

Why won’t those words bring her back to me?

There’s no power in those words for me

Don’t be fouled when she’d say

I love you too and then not stay

Push your buttons take the money walk away

She didn’t love you any way

Even though she’d say

I love you too

(Instrumental pause 32 beats)

Next time you see me baby

Better walk on by

Don’t talk to me anyway

I said don’t cry

Those words meant nothing to you

When you said I love you too

(repeat chorus)

She’s gone from me

She’s gone from me

Love and fear—5

Hey I want you to know

I’m standing right here

With foot in mouth

I don’t know what

To think of my self

There’s one thing we both share

Love and fear from somewhere

There’s love at first sight

Then something reminds the fear

Brings us back to tears

(chorus)

If you want to know

Just what turns me on

Let the fear you have go

And those slight things I’ve done

Won’t make you come undone

Will not have a place

In this heart of yours

Will not rob your loving face

Of the smile you had before

Won’t taunt this love of mine

Just hold on to the love

Those feelings sent from above

Keep smiling about our chance

To share true romance

Without fear from somewhere

Make a place for insensitive ways

I’m just not up to it today

We’ve got this from someone before

Just who I’m not quite sure

But it’s evening the score

(repeat chorus)

There’s love at first

Then something reminds the fear

That hides deep inside your mind

To make an entrance my dear

And challenge my love for you here

Once it’s made a show

There’s no where for me to go

I can’t accept the rules

Of past drowning duals

So let go of the fear

And hold on to love my dear

Your beautiful—6

You’re a real lady

You’re my baby

On the street or mountain trails

Right down to the nails

I’m in love you see

You’re on my mind all the time

You’re beautiful to me

(chorus)

I get a funny feeling

When you where a certain dress

When you where blue jeans

I catch my breath

Look my way, I feel better each day

You’re on my mind all the